I dont know what to do anymore
I cant seem to please anyone anymore and I'm sick of it. People think that some of my friends I hang with are so bad and taking me right down with them. people think kevin is so bad and all this stuff and the kid has cleaned up so much. yeah hes made some bad choices before but who hasnt. I'm actually so happy for him because he has straightened up so much. thats the best thing that could have happened to him. I'm sick of my mom getting phone calls and having "friends" saying things about my friends and i that arent even true. i mean yeah, i've made some bad choices before but I cleaned up. I'm not gonna lie..yeah ive drank before...But i dont anymore. i havnt drank since spring break. and i dont plan to anymore. its not even worth it to me. I'm just so sick of hearing all of this stuff said about me and my friends. they think we are so bad..what do i do thats so bad? i dont drink, take pills, or any hard core drugs. yeah..i smoke cigars every once in a while and im not gonna lie..i have tried marijuana before..but its not like id do it all the time. its not a "need". and if your gonna judge me on that and think im such a bad horrible person for it then i dunno...think what you want i guess. people at valley think that me and my friends..."the crew" go and party every weeknd and have sex with girls and stuff. yeah i've partied before but honestly the last time i was at a party was in february and im a virgin. where do people hear these things? im just sick of hearing things like yeah they're alcoholics and what not..yeah i drank before..i made mistakes.im a teenager..we make mistakes. but people do change and make lifestyle changes. people just cant accept that i guess. they think that once you've done something bad..that your always gonna keep doing it. and thats not true. yeah i know i shouldnt care what people think but after half a year of hearing it almost every day..i guess i kinda just get sick of it. people can just think what they want. i dunno..ive just been thinking alot lately. sometimes i just dont like the way i am and just cant seem to please people. ill please one person but then someone else will get upset over something different. its like never ending. and i really just get sick of it. like lately things have just been crazy and messed up. people ive been best friends with this whole year...we dont hang out ne more. like they're graduating in like a week. and i dunno if ill ever hang out with them or see them very much anymore and i just want to end things on a good note but i cant see that happening anymore. i dunno..tonight just pissed me off and you can think what you want of me. you can think im a bad kid and say things and spread rumors and tell my mom things. but i just wanted to be honest with you because im sick of all this bullshit being said. ive held all of this in for a long time and i dont want you to feel sorry for me or anything. i just wanted you to know.
I'm sorry
Goodnight.
I'm sorry
Goodnight.