Our tires got slashed so...
Most of my day was spent waiting for the car to be repaired. Zzz.
The rest was spent staring dangerously off into space with nary a productive thought in mind; a weighty indication that I really ought to go and take this learning disability of mine seriously before it impacts my career. To summarise a long story, I was diagnosed a long time ago with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), but have never taken medication for it. I was afraid of the idea of medicating and altering the chemicals in my brain, and so I deliberately missed that appointment, and all subsequent appointments thereafter. Instead of professional treatment, I found my own insane rituals to deal with the issue, and have now run into a brick wall as a result.
My peculiarities were easily catered to in university, and they were manageable during my first few years of teaching, but are now beginning to seem more of a liability as more and more demands are being made of my time. Furthermore, my methods of coping, which involve complete and total isolation to stave away distracting influences, will not hold in institutionalised education, which is the next step of my long journey into becoming the educator I want to be. There will neither be the time nor the facilities nor the inclination in that setting to accommodate my brand of crazy, and so it may be finally time to just deal with it.
The problem now is this: In Asia, Attention Deficit Disorder is considered myth with less credibility to its name than your run-of-the-mill ghost story. My own parents sincerely doubt that I am inhibited by ADD, and I don't blame them. I once felt very strongly that ADD was some flimsy American excuse for bad parenting. Give the kids some drugs in their morning cereal and enjoy your day at the office or the golf-course. Like everything American (as perceived by the rest of the world), it looked like the easy way out.
Being a teacher changed that mode of thought for me, particularly being a tutor to kids with very real learning disabilities. I work with teenagers that are functioning autistics, with hyperactive disorder kids, and with plain ol' adolescent naivete. What's always been the most startling to me is that I can associate myself best with my autistic students; I understand them the most in how they think, act, and learn. In fact, that's why I was introduced to teaching in the first place by my mentor--she needed someone to get into the minds of these stranger-than-normal kids and motivate them, which is exactly what I've been doing for the last few years. Teaching has taught me the most about life, living, and myself, and one of the realisations I've decided to own up to is that, yes, I have a learning disability and I need to deal with it properly.
So, I don't know when this year, but I'm going to get my second opinion. I'm going to get properly tested, and I'll take the pills if they're offered to me. I'm curious, apprehensive, and excited about what effect they'll have on me, and I'm hoping it'll be the effect I need to see myself through this very hectic period of my life.
My sister and I took some photos of our figurines out in the compound. We found a copse of bamboo behind the brick sign of our apartment complex, and had an adventure. Those photos aren't yet formatted, but do expect a photo blog in my next instalment.
Going back to Manila on Saturday. This means I get to try the new Dwarf Fortress and the Dragon Age: Awakenings expansion. It also means I'll get to redeem my six free days of World of Warcraft... but the verdict is still out on whether or not I really want to do that. Manila will be a bittersweet experience for me, I'm certain. My seniors are graduating, my sophomores are advancing, and I'll be packing my belongings in anticipation of my own inevitable farewell. It's in keeping with how my life has been to this point: I leave just when I find so many like-minded and amazing people in what was, for years before, a lonely and isolated stay.
Two trips to Japan before I say goodbye, but those are thoughts for another day.
The rest was spent staring dangerously off into space with nary a productive thought in mind; a weighty indication that I really ought to go and take this learning disability of mine seriously before it impacts my career. To summarise a long story, I was diagnosed a long time ago with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), but have never taken medication for it. I was afraid of the idea of medicating and altering the chemicals in my brain, and so I deliberately missed that appointment, and all subsequent appointments thereafter. Instead of professional treatment, I found my own insane rituals to deal with the issue, and have now run into a brick wall as a result.
My peculiarities were easily catered to in university, and they were manageable during my first few years of teaching, but are now beginning to seem more of a liability as more and more demands are being made of my time. Furthermore, my methods of coping, which involve complete and total isolation to stave away distracting influences, will not hold in institutionalised education, which is the next step of my long journey into becoming the educator I want to be. There will neither be the time nor the facilities nor the inclination in that setting to accommodate my brand of crazy, and so it may be finally time to just deal with it.
The problem now is this: In Asia, Attention Deficit Disorder is considered myth with less credibility to its name than your run-of-the-mill ghost story. My own parents sincerely doubt that I am inhibited by ADD, and I don't blame them. I once felt very strongly that ADD was some flimsy American excuse for bad parenting. Give the kids some drugs in their morning cereal and enjoy your day at the office or the golf-course. Like everything American (as perceived by the rest of the world), it looked like the easy way out.
Being a teacher changed that mode of thought for me, particularly being a tutor to kids with very real learning disabilities. I work with teenagers that are functioning autistics, with hyperactive disorder kids, and with plain ol' adolescent naivete. What's always been the most startling to me is that I can associate myself best with my autistic students; I understand them the most in how they think, act, and learn. In fact, that's why I was introduced to teaching in the first place by my mentor--she needed someone to get into the minds of these stranger-than-normal kids and motivate them, which is exactly what I've been doing for the last few years. Teaching has taught me the most about life, living, and myself, and one of the realisations I've decided to own up to is that, yes, I have a learning disability and I need to deal with it properly.
So, I don't know when this year, but I'm going to get my second opinion. I'm going to get properly tested, and I'll take the pills if they're offered to me. I'm curious, apprehensive, and excited about what effect they'll have on me, and I'm hoping it'll be the effect I need to see myself through this very hectic period of my life.
My sister and I took some photos of our figurines out in the compound. We found a copse of bamboo behind the brick sign of our apartment complex, and had an adventure. Those photos aren't yet formatted, but do expect a photo blog in my next instalment.
Going back to Manila on Saturday. This means I get to try the new Dwarf Fortress and the Dragon Age: Awakenings expansion. It also means I'll get to redeem my six free days of World of Warcraft... but the verdict is still out on whether or not I really want to do that. Manila will be a bittersweet experience for me, I'm certain. My seniors are graduating, my sophomores are advancing, and I'll be packing my belongings in anticipation of my own inevitable farewell. It's in keeping with how my life has been to this point: I leave just when I find so many like-minded and amazing people in what was, for years before, a lonely and isolated stay.
Two trips to Japan before I say goodbye, but those are thoughts for another day.