nothin funny :(..and don't read this is nonsense i should have eyeliner on while writing it
alright, my main reason for even writing in this thing this fine morning is that my dads an asshole. He treats my mom like shit and she doesn't deserve anything but the best, i love her with all my heart and i hate to see her sad cause she's done nothing in her life we're she deserves to be treated like that. And after i was thinkin about that for a while of course i got to thinking about my realationship with sara (cause i'm some what selfish and this is my journal so i write about me most of the time anyway). And part of me thinks that she was with me the hole time just to keep in touch with the group of people out here, i dunno i'm not her brain. All i know is i feel like i deserved to have things end differently then they did. I've done things that made me an asshole, ive done plenty, do i wish i can take them back..yes and no i've learned from my mistakes and thats the main thing that keeps me from wishing i can take those actions back. But lookin back i was a HUGE dick but it didn't mean i loved the girl any less. I would have givin her the world on a platter if i could. And i don't know why i even think about this stuff any more i've moved on from her and if i ever saw her i just wanna say "fuck you, you broke my heart" but i can't. (I just wanna make it clear i'm not bashing her, i'm confused on how you end things with some one you loved through a text) and you know from an outsiders point of view i could have deserved every day of heartache (haha even i think that sounds gay) i've had since we broke up. but in my eyes i think i deserved a little more, except after some shit i said after we broke up..that was completely gay on my part and i should have been better than that, uuuuuuuuum other than that i just wanna say i don't wish harm on the girl in any way. i'm just gettin shit off my chest yada yada my dads a prick and hopefully now that i have all my feelings written down on the internet forever and ever i can stop thinkin about this shit and get on with my life for real. and now i'm gunna have another smoke read this over and see if i wanna post it.... yea it's a emo like post with me just bitchin about my own life problems when there's people in the world who don't even have water or a friggin freedom fry to put in there stomach seems internet worthy. night folks