Spliced: Part 3 - Chapter 7B
TITLE: Spliced - Part 3, Chapter 7B
AUTHOR: flighty_dreams
WARNINGS: NC-17. slavefic. scifi setting. M/m. some het.
DISCLAIMER: They all belong to me! *insert evil cackle here* I'm just sharing them. *hug*
WORD COUNT: 2,985
SUMMARY: Part 3, Chapter 7B - Alex talks to some old friends.
NOTES: Yeah I know, new characters this late in the story? I am crazy, but there be a method in it...
FEEDBACK: Always awesome and amazing.
As he entered Ten’s writing room, Alex stopped abruptly, giving himself a moment to enjoy the view. Ten’s workroom was on a corner of the house and had huge bay windows on two sides with a view of the green Rethar Mountains in the distance, and a lush valley in the foreground. The setting sun was giving the fields a fiery hue, sparking on the wildflowers mixed in amongst the grass, and sunlight blazed on the near side of the sloping mountains. It was a beautiful place, and he could understand why Ten felt at peace here.
But the remoteness of this location worried him; Ten had bought the house and a good chunk of land surrounding it, so even his closest neighbors were a few kilometers away. A hovercar could get you there fast of course, but if he had an accident living here alone… no one would know for far longer than Alex was comfortable with.
Clearing his head of the dreadful possibilities, he spared the landscape one last worthy look before he headed to the wall unit across from Ten’s L-shaped corner desk. Underneath the large vid screen was a cabinet, and he opened it and then studied the contents. A mass of wires stared back at him; a curious anachronism in an age of wireless technology, but the wires provided added security, allowing the equipment to avoid using a wireless signal.
He thought about Kret and Sharra as he found the switch he needed to enable the equipment. Kret worked as a tech consultant and Sharra had earned a degree in education before becoming a teacher at a local school. They lived quiet, normal lives-at least on the surface. Secretly, both of them kept on top of the latest tech developments, always wary of new methods for naturals to detect clones. Whenever they discovered something potentially alarming, they were quick to notify him and the others.
They were residents of Festun as well, deeming it the safest planet for them all. However, they disliked the countryside that Ten favored, preferring to live in the suburbs of one of Festun’s largest cities, Hathorne. Years after Ten and Alex had stopped being so careful with their own communications, Kret and Sharra still insisted on taking as many precautions as possible-they’d refuse to answer if he just called them on his PC, unless he sent an emergency message first. And they’d been right, he mused, thinking of Hayeston. He and Ten shouldn’t have been so careless.
The vid screen was already angled towards the desk, so Alex walked over and sat in Ten’s chair, facing the screen.
Sharra picked up, but looked a bit surprised when she saw Alex instead of Ten. The fake number that showed up whenever Ten used his equipment was always the same. “Hey,” she said, her gaze warm, “not who I was expecting, but you’ll do.”
Alex smiled back at her. Amongst his ‘sisters,’ Sharra would always have a special place in his heart. She wasn’t Arri, but she was probably the closest thing he had to a real sister. They’d been born with the same natural coloring-blue black hair and wolfish amber eyes-and similar cheekbones, so he’d always thought they were probably genetically related. Not a sister exactly, but the same family tree at least. The same Andorian genetic material for coloring and such had been inserted into both of them.
Sharra was sitting in the living room of the house she shared with Kret. It was a modest house located in the suburbs, but tastefully and expensively decorated. She sat towards one end of the sofa, her right arm laying elegantly along the armrest.
She wasn’t an emotional woman, at least not outwardly. There was an aloof air to her, in the way she carried herself, as if nothing you said affected her. It had driven Kristeer and their trainers crazy at times, and Alex figured that was exactly why she’d done it. It was both a defense mechanism-never show them you were afraid-and a passive form of resistance. Even under punishment, she had always taken an extremely long time to break, holding onto that detachment for as long as possible.
Since their escape, the outward sign of that composure was her always impeccable appearance, so perfectly turned out that you were afraid to touch her and sully it. Under slavery, she’d never had control over how she dressed, but now she chose everything down to the last detail with care. For example, today she was wearing a long, belted sundress, designer shoes, and some tasteful jewelry at her wrists, neck and ears. However, there was one thing off about her today.
“You look good,” he told her. “How are you both?”
“Good, good. Kret is busy but fine, and school is out for the summer, so I’m relaxing.”
“Ah,” he said knowingly, “so that explains the hair.”
Embarrassed, she put a hand on top of her hair to cover it. Just like he did, she dyed her hair brown to blend in more with natural borns. But she obviously hadn’t kept up with it recently, because she had some black roots showing at the moment, ruining her otherwise spotless appearance. “I know, it’s terrible. But I was sick until a few days ago, and it wasn’t that bad until then. At least I haven’t left the house, so no one’s seen it like this.”
She lowered her hand and as she moved her head the blue highlights sparked, catching the light. “Besides Kret, you mean,” he teased her.
“Yeah.” She smiled faintly. “He misses the color, and truthfully so do I.”
“I know the feeling,” he replied. Keeping an eye on his hair was a pain in the ass, and the vain part of him found the brown dull. But it was a small cost for staying free. “You live on Festun though, Sharra, not Pyrun. Would the school care that much?” he thought aloud.
“They wouldn’t fire me, but there’d be talk. And lots of looks-not so much for being a clone, but for being Andorian. I’d rather not deal with it.” Her gaze sharpened on him. “Besides, considering Hayeston and whoever he’s working with, that’s not attention any of us need.”
He couldn’t disagree with that. “No, definitely not.” There were lots of freed or escaped clones on Festun, but Andorians were a rarity. Revealing herself would almost certainly draw Hayeston’s notice. Now was not the time for her to stand up to the school board, but he hoped that one day-if they were ever safe finally-she could. Most likely they never would be though, and this was all just wishful thinking. A depressing but sad truth.
“How’d it go with Muldane?” she asked him, wary as a cat. Ten must’ve briefed her on what was going on. But whereas his brother had teased him about it, she was sober. He knew Sharra had her reservations about the Kartan.
“Rocky, but pretty much as planned. I talked about myself only, I didn’t mention the rest of you. So don’t worry on that front.”
“How did he feel about an Andorian living free?” The knowing look in her eyes showed she was sure of the answer to that question.
Scowling he replied, “Not happily. He thinks Andorians are property, not people.”
Her voice turned cold, the pragmatic nature that had enabled her to survive slavery coming to the surface. “I don’t understand why you didn’t just show up as Min the helpless Andorian a month from now. You didn’t need to show him your real self at all, and you could’ve still been bait for Hayeston too. The man didn’t need to know anything.”
She had a point. He didn’t have to reveal anything of himself to Matt that the man hadn’t already seen. But he’d wanted to tell the truth for once, to prove the man wrong, that he wasn’t the stupid, helpless slave he thought he was. The temptation had been too much, as well as the vague hope that maybe things could be different with Muldane if the man knew the truth.
“The risk is mine, not yours,” he told her finally.
“I still don’t like it. He could stir up a search for strange Andorians like Min. And there was no point to this, the man’s Kartan. You know how those bastards are. They’ll never consider clones as equals. You won’t be able to change his mind,” she insisted, her expression as firm as the mountains outside the windows.
Alex’s jaw clenched with determination. “I can at least try.”
She quirked one eyebrow up, just like he could. “Is that what this is really about? Proving something to yourself?”
Annoyed at her intuition, he retorted, “Only partly.”
She shook her head. “You don’t need to test yourself with Muldane, the man’s not worth the effort. Just do the job, draw out Hayeston, and then get out. And once it’s over, find someone else. Someone who will take care of your needs but also let you be yourself, not a slave.”
“I have Kate.”
Sharra looked steadily at him, knowledge in her eyes that he couldn’t fathom. “Kate’s a sweet woman, but she can’t give you everything you need, little brother.”
He glanced at the doorway, making sure Kate wasn’t within earshot. “She’s given me a life and a home and so much more.”
“Yes, but if that were enough you wouldn’t be leaving her every six months, would you?”
Flushing, he couldn’t deny her statement. “That’s because I’m fucked up. It’s not her fault.”
“No, it isn’t. But it still doesn’t change reality, does it?” Seeing his rising irritation, she added, “I’m not trying to upset you. I just want you to be happy, and I don’t like this back and forth you do.”
“Join the crew. Nobody does, not even me,” he told her gruffly. “But being with Kate makes me happy. I love her. Even if we can only be happy half the time, isn’t that still worth it? Real happiness is so rare.”
“You’re right,” she said, smiling wryly. “Kristech taught us not to take anything for granted.” She paused before adding, “As long as you’re happy.” Her mouth straightened, her eyes turning pensive. “I do wonder though, if Arri had lived-”
“Don’t,” he interrupted her. Even after all these years, the idea of what might have been was painful.
The look she gave him now was solemn, and he knew she understood all too well. If something ever happened to Kret… the two of them had so much history, and he knew she would never fully recover from the loss.
“I’m sorry, Min,” she apologized, using his original name. It felt odd to hear it from someone who loved him; it had been a long time since any of his siblings had called him by it, and the crew always addressed him as Alex.
“It’s all right, I wonder too,” he reassured her.
She nodded, and there was a long pause between them. “Was there something you needed?” she asked, changing the subject and breaking the tension.
“Yeah, if you don’t mind getting Kret for me,” he said, pushing his dark thoughts away and sending her his most charming smile.
She rolled her eyes at him, but her amber eyes were twinkling. Those eyes she had kept the same, and he was glad for it. “I figured there had to be a reason for this call.”
“What, I can’t call to talk to my favorite sister?” he teased.
Smiling gently she said, “Anytime. But calling from Ten’s and without him talking too doesn’t seem like a casual call.”
“True enough, it isn’t.”
He knew she wanted to know the reason for the call, but with typical Sharra restraint she refrained. If the situation were reversed, he would’ve pestered her for answers. No doubt Kret would tell her later, and she well knew it, which allowed her to be patient. “I’ll get Kret.” She stood up from the sofa and walked over to the open doorway. “Kret!” she yelled. “Call for you!”
Seconds later a secondary view popped up on Alex’s vid as Kret picked up from his office. He spared Alex a quick smile before looking at his wife on his own split screen and saying, “Thanks, Shar, I got it.”
“Bye, Alex,” she said, and the view of her disappeared from his vid.
Kret, who had been standing at his worktable, walked over to his desk and sat down.
Catching Kret’s wince as he sat back down on his chair, Alex grinned. “Feeling a little sore?”
“Yes,” Kret gritted, irritation sparking in his dark blue eyes.
Alex couldn’t resist teasing him a bit more. Knowing very well what had occurred, he asked, “What happened?”
“Sharra happened, last night.”
“Of course,” Alex replied, mouth twitching with amusement.
“I needed it though, I’d been too stressed out lately. Helped me clear my head. You know how it is,” Kret said with a careless gesture, brushing some of his blond bangs away from his face.
“Yeah,” Alex answered. He certainly did know how the pain and pleasure could cleanse you; it had gradually eased his guilt away. “I know it can help.”
“Besides,” Kret returned, anticipation glittering in his eyes, “I’ll even the score tonight.”
Laughing softly, Alex replied, “I bet you will.” Smiling wistfully, Alex mused that it must be great to have a relationship like that. They were able to switch back and forth, according to what they needed. It let them fulfill all of their desires, and that was what Sharra had been prodding him about. But it wasn’t something all of them could achieve, he thought as he considered all his surviving siblings. Only Sharra and Kret had been able to do it.
Sharra’s question from earlier floated back to him. If Arri had lived, would he have had the same thing with her that Sharra and Kret had shared? Most likely, he thought, remembering Arri’s fierce determination, coupled with an edge of vulnerability. How different would his life have been? He probably would never have met Kate and her crew-which was terrible to think about, but didn’t make it any less true-and his original name wouldn’t have faded so from his current life, because she would’ve used it still. Arri would’ve helped him, and they would’ve built a life together. And it would’ve been a happy one, or at least he liked to think so. Maybe freedom would’ve changed them, and made them into different people that didn’t fit each other so well. But Sharra and Kret had grown together, not apart. Couldn’t it have been the same way for him and Arri?
Grief for the life he would never have stifled him for a long, tense moment. But this was a scenario he’d wondered about many times before. It was nothing new to him, so he pushed it away and focused back on the present.
“Alex? You okay?” Kret was asking, giving him a concerned look.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. Just got a lot on my mind,” Alex explained.
They made small talk for a couple minutes, before Alex got down to business. “That source displacement tech Ten had you looking at, I was wondering if you had figured out how to reproduce it. I have to call Muldane and I want it to be untraceable.”
“Why do you need to call the Kartan?” Kret asked, puzzled. He didn’t seem to like him anymore than Sharra did, which wasn’t a surprise.
“I promised I would contact him,” Alex prevaricated. “I needed to make arrangements for my arrival anyway, and I want to be as careful as possible,” he pointed out. He really didn’t want to explain that he’d promised to call Matt once a week.
“I see.” Kret was a calm, steady guy, and he took his explanation with a shrug. “Yeah, good to be real careful with this.”
He told Alex more of the specifics behind the technology, and they discussed what equipment would work best. Kret knew far more than he did on this particular subject, since Alex focused on different areas of tech than Kret did.
After they’d finished, Kret said, “I’ll call you once I have everything ready.”
“Okay, I’ll come back to Festun and pick it up whenever I can.” Alex figured when it was time to call Muldane he’d swing by and grab the gear before making the call from somewhere else on Festun.
“Tell Ten to come visit us soon, before he heads off to Monlea with you,” Kret said. “He spends too much time alone in that house.”
“I know,” Alex agreed wryly. All of them were damaged in different ways, and Ten, like Kret and Sharra, had trouble trusting other people. But whereas Kret and Sharra at least had each other, Ten was on his own. As far as Alex could recall-and unless Ten had hidden it from him, Ten had never gotten into a serious relationship with anyone, relying solely on occasional flings to satisfy his basic sexual needs from time to time. Alex had asked him why he had such trouble opening up to other people, but Ten had refused to discuss it.
In the end, all he’d told Alex was that the solitude and quiet out here brought him peace enough. But too much time alone wasn’t a good thing, in Alex’s opinion. So he and Kate had given Ten an open invitation to join them on The Cutter whenever he wanted, and he did like the crew. He joined them sometimes, just like he accepted some of Kret and Sharra’s invitations. But his jovial attitude still hid a lot of pain that he refused to acknowledge, even to his siblings.
“I’ll tell him,” Alex added. “Thanks again, Kret.”
“Anytime.”
Chapter 8
AUTHOR: flighty_dreams
WARNINGS: NC-17. slavefic. scifi setting. M/m. some het.
DISCLAIMER: They all belong to me! *insert evil cackle here* I'm just sharing them. *hug*
WORD COUNT: 2,985
SUMMARY: Part 3, Chapter 7B - Alex talks to some old friends.
NOTES: Yeah I know, new characters this late in the story? I am crazy, but there be a method in it...
FEEDBACK: Always awesome and amazing.
As he entered Ten’s writing room, Alex stopped abruptly, giving himself a moment to enjoy the view. Ten’s workroom was on a corner of the house and had huge bay windows on two sides with a view of the green Rethar Mountains in the distance, and a lush valley in the foreground. The setting sun was giving the fields a fiery hue, sparking on the wildflowers mixed in amongst the grass, and sunlight blazed on the near side of the sloping mountains. It was a beautiful place, and he could understand why Ten felt at peace here.
But the remoteness of this location worried him; Ten had bought the house and a good chunk of land surrounding it, so even his closest neighbors were a few kilometers away. A hovercar could get you there fast of course, but if he had an accident living here alone… no one would know for far longer than Alex was comfortable with.
Clearing his head of the dreadful possibilities, he spared the landscape one last worthy look before he headed to the wall unit across from Ten’s L-shaped corner desk. Underneath the large vid screen was a cabinet, and he opened it and then studied the contents. A mass of wires stared back at him; a curious anachronism in an age of wireless technology, but the wires provided added security, allowing the equipment to avoid using a wireless signal.
He thought about Kret and Sharra as he found the switch he needed to enable the equipment. Kret worked as a tech consultant and Sharra had earned a degree in education before becoming a teacher at a local school. They lived quiet, normal lives-at least on the surface. Secretly, both of them kept on top of the latest tech developments, always wary of new methods for naturals to detect clones. Whenever they discovered something potentially alarming, they were quick to notify him and the others.
They were residents of Festun as well, deeming it the safest planet for them all. However, they disliked the countryside that Ten favored, preferring to live in the suburbs of one of Festun’s largest cities, Hathorne. Years after Ten and Alex had stopped being so careful with their own communications, Kret and Sharra still insisted on taking as many precautions as possible-they’d refuse to answer if he just called them on his PC, unless he sent an emergency message first. And they’d been right, he mused, thinking of Hayeston. He and Ten shouldn’t have been so careless.
The vid screen was already angled towards the desk, so Alex walked over and sat in Ten’s chair, facing the screen.
Sharra picked up, but looked a bit surprised when she saw Alex instead of Ten. The fake number that showed up whenever Ten used his equipment was always the same. “Hey,” she said, her gaze warm, “not who I was expecting, but you’ll do.”
Alex smiled back at her. Amongst his ‘sisters,’ Sharra would always have a special place in his heart. She wasn’t Arri, but she was probably the closest thing he had to a real sister. They’d been born with the same natural coloring-blue black hair and wolfish amber eyes-and similar cheekbones, so he’d always thought they were probably genetically related. Not a sister exactly, but the same family tree at least. The same Andorian genetic material for coloring and such had been inserted into both of them.
Sharra was sitting in the living room of the house she shared with Kret. It was a modest house located in the suburbs, but tastefully and expensively decorated. She sat towards one end of the sofa, her right arm laying elegantly along the armrest.
She wasn’t an emotional woman, at least not outwardly. There was an aloof air to her, in the way she carried herself, as if nothing you said affected her. It had driven Kristeer and their trainers crazy at times, and Alex figured that was exactly why she’d done it. It was both a defense mechanism-never show them you were afraid-and a passive form of resistance. Even under punishment, she had always taken an extremely long time to break, holding onto that detachment for as long as possible.
Since their escape, the outward sign of that composure was her always impeccable appearance, so perfectly turned out that you were afraid to touch her and sully it. Under slavery, she’d never had control over how she dressed, but now she chose everything down to the last detail with care. For example, today she was wearing a long, belted sundress, designer shoes, and some tasteful jewelry at her wrists, neck and ears. However, there was one thing off about her today.
“You look good,” he told her. “How are you both?”
“Good, good. Kret is busy but fine, and school is out for the summer, so I’m relaxing.”
“Ah,” he said knowingly, “so that explains the hair.”
Embarrassed, she put a hand on top of her hair to cover it. Just like he did, she dyed her hair brown to blend in more with natural borns. But she obviously hadn’t kept up with it recently, because she had some black roots showing at the moment, ruining her otherwise spotless appearance. “I know, it’s terrible. But I was sick until a few days ago, and it wasn’t that bad until then. At least I haven’t left the house, so no one’s seen it like this.”
She lowered her hand and as she moved her head the blue highlights sparked, catching the light. “Besides Kret, you mean,” he teased her.
“Yeah.” She smiled faintly. “He misses the color, and truthfully so do I.”
“I know the feeling,” he replied. Keeping an eye on his hair was a pain in the ass, and the vain part of him found the brown dull. But it was a small cost for staying free. “You live on Festun though, Sharra, not Pyrun. Would the school care that much?” he thought aloud.
“They wouldn’t fire me, but there’d be talk. And lots of looks-not so much for being a clone, but for being Andorian. I’d rather not deal with it.” Her gaze sharpened on him. “Besides, considering Hayeston and whoever he’s working with, that’s not attention any of us need.”
He couldn’t disagree with that. “No, definitely not.” There were lots of freed or escaped clones on Festun, but Andorians were a rarity. Revealing herself would almost certainly draw Hayeston’s notice. Now was not the time for her to stand up to the school board, but he hoped that one day-if they were ever safe finally-she could. Most likely they never would be though, and this was all just wishful thinking. A depressing but sad truth.
“How’d it go with Muldane?” she asked him, wary as a cat. Ten must’ve briefed her on what was going on. But whereas his brother had teased him about it, she was sober. He knew Sharra had her reservations about the Kartan.
“Rocky, but pretty much as planned. I talked about myself only, I didn’t mention the rest of you. So don’t worry on that front.”
“How did he feel about an Andorian living free?” The knowing look in her eyes showed she was sure of the answer to that question.
Scowling he replied, “Not happily. He thinks Andorians are property, not people.”
Her voice turned cold, the pragmatic nature that had enabled her to survive slavery coming to the surface. “I don’t understand why you didn’t just show up as Min the helpless Andorian a month from now. You didn’t need to show him your real self at all, and you could’ve still been bait for Hayeston too. The man didn’t need to know anything.”
She had a point. He didn’t have to reveal anything of himself to Matt that the man hadn’t already seen. But he’d wanted to tell the truth for once, to prove the man wrong, that he wasn’t the stupid, helpless slave he thought he was. The temptation had been too much, as well as the vague hope that maybe things could be different with Muldane if the man knew the truth.
“The risk is mine, not yours,” he told her finally.
“I still don’t like it. He could stir up a search for strange Andorians like Min. And there was no point to this, the man’s Kartan. You know how those bastards are. They’ll never consider clones as equals. You won’t be able to change his mind,” she insisted, her expression as firm as the mountains outside the windows.
Alex’s jaw clenched with determination. “I can at least try.”
She quirked one eyebrow up, just like he could. “Is that what this is really about? Proving something to yourself?”
Annoyed at her intuition, he retorted, “Only partly.”
She shook her head. “You don’t need to test yourself with Muldane, the man’s not worth the effort. Just do the job, draw out Hayeston, and then get out. And once it’s over, find someone else. Someone who will take care of your needs but also let you be yourself, not a slave.”
“I have Kate.”
Sharra looked steadily at him, knowledge in her eyes that he couldn’t fathom. “Kate’s a sweet woman, but she can’t give you everything you need, little brother.”
He glanced at the doorway, making sure Kate wasn’t within earshot. “She’s given me a life and a home and so much more.”
“Yes, but if that were enough you wouldn’t be leaving her every six months, would you?”
Flushing, he couldn’t deny her statement. “That’s because I’m fucked up. It’s not her fault.”
“No, it isn’t. But it still doesn’t change reality, does it?” Seeing his rising irritation, she added, “I’m not trying to upset you. I just want you to be happy, and I don’t like this back and forth you do.”
“Join the crew. Nobody does, not even me,” he told her gruffly. “But being with Kate makes me happy. I love her. Even if we can only be happy half the time, isn’t that still worth it? Real happiness is so rare.”
“You’re right,” she said, smiling wryly. “Kristech taught us not to take anything for granted.” She paused before adding, “As long as you’re happy.” Her mouth straightened, her eyes turning pensive. “I do wonder though, if Arri had lived-”
“Don’t,” he interrupted her. Even after all these years, the idea of what might have been was painful.
The look she gave him now was solemn, and he knew she understood all too well. If something ever happened to Kret… the two of them had so much history, and he knew she would never fully recover from the loss.
“I’m sorry, Min,” she apologized, using his original name. It felt odd to hear it from someone who loved him; it had been a long time since any of his siblings had called him by it, and the crew always addressed him as Alex.
“It’s all right, I wonder too,” he reassured her.
She nodded, and there was a long pause between them. “Was there something you needed?” she asked, changing the subject and breaking the tension.
“Yeah, if you don’t mind getting Kret for me,” he said, pushing his dark thoughts away and sending her his most charming smile.
She rolled her eyes at him, but her amber eyes were twinkling. Those eyes she had kept the same, and he was glad for it. “I figured there had to be a reason for this call.”
“What, I can’t call to talk to my favorite sister?” he teased.
Smiling gently she said, “Anytime. But calling from Ten’s and without him talking too doesn’t seem like a casual call.”
“True enough, it isn’t.”
He knew she wanted to know the reason for the call, but with typical Sharra restraint she refrained. If the situation were reversed, he would’ve pestered her for answers. No doubt Kret would tell her later, and she well knew it, which allowed her to be patient. “I’ll get Kret.” She stood up from the sofa and walked over to the open doorway. “Kret!” she yelled. “Call for you!”
Seconds later a secondary view popped up on Alex’s vid as Kret picked up from his office. He spared Alex a quick smile before looking at his wife on his own split screen and saying, “Thanks, Shar, I got it.”
“Bye, Alex,” she said, and the view of her disappeared from his vid.
Kret, who had been standing at his worktable, walked over to his desk and sat down.
Catching Kret’s wince as he sat back down on his chair, Alex grinned. “Feeling a little sore?”
“Yes,” Kret gritted, irritation sparking in his dark blue eyes.
Alex couldn’t resist teasing him a bit more. Knowing very well what had occurred, he asked, “What happened?”
“Sharra happened, last night.”
“Of course,” Alex replied, mouth twitching with amusement.
“I needed it though, I’d been too stressed out lately. Helped me clear my head. You know how it is,” Kret said with a careless gesture, brushing some of his blond bangs away from his face.
“Yeah,” Alex answered. He certainly did know how the pain and pleasure could cleanse you; it had gradually eased his guilt away. “I know it can help.”
“Besides,” Kret returned, anticipation glittering in his eyes, “I’ll even the score tonight.”
Laughing softly, Alex replied, “I bet you will.” Smiling wistfully, Alex mused that it must be great to have a relationship like that. They were able to switch back and forth, according to what they needed. It let them fulfill all of their desires, and that was what Sharra had been prodding him about. But it wasn’t something all of them could achieve, he thought as he considered all his surviving siblings. Only Sharra and Kret had been able to do it.
Sharra’s question from earlier floated back to him. If Arri had lived, would he have had the same thing with her that Sharra and Kret had shared? Most likely, he thought, remembering Arri’s fierce determination, coupled with an edge of vulnerability. How different would his life have been? He probably would never have met Kate and her crew-which was terrible to think about, but didn’t make it any less true-and his original name wouldn’t have faded so from his current life, because she would’ve used it still. Arri would’ve helped him, and they would’ve built a life together. And it would’ve been a happy one, or at least he liked to think so. Maybe freedom would’ve changed them, and made them into different people that didn’t fit each other so well. But Sharra and Kret had grown together, not apart. Couldn’t it have been the same way for him and Arri?
Grief for the life he would never have stifled him for a long, tense moment. But this was a scenario he’d wondered about many times before. It was nothing new to him, so he pushed it away and focused back on the present.
“Alex? You okay?” Kret was asking, giving him a concerned look.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. Just got a lot on my mind,” Alex explained.
They made small talk for a couple minutes, before Alex got down to business. “That source displacement tech Ten had you looking at, I was wondering if you had figured out how to reproduce it. I have to call Muldane and I want it to be untraceable.”
“Why do you need to call the Kartan?” Kret asked, puzzled. He didn’t seem to like him anymore than Sharra did, which wasn’t a surprise.
“I promised I would contact him,” Alex prevaricated. “I needed to make arrangements for my arrival anyway, and I want to be as careful as possible,” he pointed out. He really didn’t want to explain that he’d promised to call Matt once a week.
“I see.” Kret was a calm, steady guy, and he took his explanation with a shrug. “Yeah, good to be real careful with this.”
He told Alex more of the specifics behind the technology, and they discussed what equipment would work best. Kret knew far more than he did on this particular subject, since Alex focused on different areas of tech than Kret did.
After they’d finished, Kret said, “I’ll call you once I have everything ready.”
“Okay, I’ll come back to Festun and pick it up whenever I can.” Alex figured when it was time to call Muldane he’d swing by and grab the gear before making the call from somewhere else on Festun.
“Tell Ten to come visit us soon, before he heads off to Monlea with you,” Kret said. “He spends too much time alone in that house.”
“I know,” Alex agreed wryly. All of them were damaged in different ways, and Ten, like Kret and Sharra, had trouble trusting other people. But whereas Kret and Sharra at least had each other, Ten was on his own. As far as Alex could recall-and unless Ten had hidden it from him, Ten had never gotten into a serious relationship with anyone, relying solely on occasional flings to satisfy his basic sexual needs from time to time. Alex had asked him why he had such trouble opening up to other people, but Ten had refused to discuss it.
In the end, all he’d told Alex was that the solitude and quiet out here brought him peace enough. But too much time alone wasn’t a good thing, in Alex’s opinion. So he and Kate had given Ten an open invitation to join them on The Cutter whenever he wanted, and he did like the crew. He joined them sometimes, just like he accepted some of Kret and Sharra’s invitations. But his jovial attitude still hid a lot of pain that he refused to acknowledge, even to his siblings.
“I’ll tell him,” Alex added. “Thanks again, Kret.”
“Anytime.”
Chapter 8