So I'm still alive
I guess I could update so that people don't think I've died or anything.
My life since Februrary has been about waiting. Waiting for a piece of paper that says that I can go live with the one I love and start a fantastic new job. I got a job offer from one of the parents of two kids that Russ looks after at his work. I had the chance to meet here when I was there last October. She is a sharp woman and thinks I'd be a perfect match for the position that she has offered me. Unfortunately, the paperwork is taking damn near an eternity to get completed. I've been waiting for 12 weeks. I was supposed to know on the 12th week..it has past now. So hopefully they will call Nola this week or will have the results this week.
Since I've been waiting....I worked a few temp jobs that were just too sportatic in calls to work I decided to make a trek home. My mom and dad have been talking about moving once my mom retired and well...she retired. It was so good to be in my home again. I hadn't been there in well over a year. I figured I better get down there quick in case they sell the house fast and I never get to say goodbye to the only house I've ever had. Sad...but they got that house because I was coming into the world. Once its gone I won't have a home. I mean I will because home is where the heart is, but still I'm sure you guys know what I mean.
I was only supposed to go home for two weeks. The first week Russ came down and spent it with the family and I for the week before Easter. It was amazing. He fit into my life just as I knew he would and made me fall in love with him so much more completely because my family means so much to me. My mom ended up liking him more then I think she wanted to or thought she would so that is a good thing. The second week I knew my brother and his family would be coming down. I got to see my sweet niece Isabella again, which she just grows by the second and is SO damn smart!
Mid way through that week, my mom said, why don't you just stay longer. So we called up the airline and got my ticked extended for a month! She said that she could use me to help get a few post retirement projects for work handled and that she would pay be for my services. She didn't have to, but she wanted to which was nice. When I was home we just had fun and I think it helped her adjust to being home everyday a little bit better. We picked tasks or fun things to do and just went with it. I got to see a bunch of friends while home, some not nearly long enough.
Now being back in Minny I feel like I'm back to a nothing life that I don't belong in. I feel like when I am here I am part ghost. I said goodbye to my friends and this city in Feb and since then being here just doesn't feel right. My heart is in Calgary, its kinda hard to live without your heart. So I'm here stressing about getting all the stuff I need to get done before I go. Not to get rid of it too soon incase the paperwork fails. I hate not having controll of my life and its messing me up in terms of emotions. Yesterday I cried. Today I feel better. I think I just have too much pressure on myself and I am terrified of what is going to happen if I can't get to Russ. I'm not as depressed as I sound, but I'm just typing it all out because I know it will make me feel better.
So I'm back in Minny now. Trying to figure out what to do now.
My life since Februrary has been about waiting. Waiting for a piece of paper that says that I can go live with the one I love and start a fantastic new job. I got a job offer from one of the parents of two kids that Russ looks after at his work. I had the chance to meet here when I was there last October. She is a sharp woman and thinks I'd be a perfect match for the position that she has offered me. Unfortunately, the paperwork is taking damn near an eternity to get completed. I've been waiting for 12 weeks. I was supposed to know on the 12th week..it has past now. So hopefully they will call Nola this week or will have the results this week.
Since I've been waiting....I worked a few temp jobs that were just too sportatic in calls to work I decided to make a trek home. My mom and dad have been talking about moving once my mom retired and well...she retired. It was so good to be in my home again. I hadn't been there in well over a year. I figured I better get down there quick in case they sell the house fast and I never get to say goodbye to the only house I've ever had. Sad...but they got that house because I was coming into the world. Once its gone I won't have a home. I mean I will because home is where the heart is, but still I'm sure you guys know what I mean.
I was only supposed to go home for two weeks. The first week Russ came down and spent it with the family and I for the week before Easter. It was amazing. He fit into my life just as I knew he would and made me fall in love with him so much more completely because my family means so much to me. My mom ended up liking him more then I think she wanted to or thought she would so that is a good thing. The second week I knew my brother and his family would be coming down. I got to see my sweet niece Isabella again, which she just grows by the second and is SO damn smart!
Mid way through that week, my mom said, why don't you just stay longer. So we called up the airline and got my ticked extended for a month! She said that she could use me to help get a few post retirement projects for work handled and that she would pay be for my services. She didn't have to, but she wanted to which was nice. When I was home we just had fun and I think it helped her adjust to being home everyday a little bit better. We picked tasks or fun things to do and just went with it. I got to see a bunch of friends while home, some not nearly long enough.
Now being back in Minny I feel like I'm back to a nothing life that I don't belong in. I feel like when I am here I am part ghost. I said goodbye to my friends and this city in Feb and since then being here just doesn't feel right. My heart is in Calgary, its kinda hard to live without your heart. So I'm here stressing about getting all the stuff I need to get done before I go. Not to get rid of it too soon incase the paperwork fails. I hate not having controll of my life and its messing me up in terms of emotions. Yesterday I cried. Today I feel better. I think I just have too much pressure on myself and I am terrified of what is going to happen if I can't get to Russ. I'm not as depressed as I sound, but I'm just typing it all out because I know it will make me feel better.
So I'm back in Minny now. Trying to figure out what to do now.