This One's Public
....because I took some people off my list. Well, only two.
Dear Kevin (poeticoddity ) and Brian (days_0f_phoenix ),
Since obviously you think I am lower than shit and obviously not good enough for Bradley, or "not what's best for him," and you guys have pretty much made me feel like shit for a while, I've done some thinking about it.
How can fair weather friends who don't even call someone when they know they're not doing well know what's best for him? Have either of you talked to Bradley since you found out? Have you called? I mean, c'mon. Kevin, you could talk to him well enough about my entry about him moving up here and how it was a big mistake, but you can't talk to him to tell him you hope he's doing okay when you find out he's severely depressed and sick? Great. And Brian, you can call him to hang out at midnight, or you can IM him to come over and get drunk (which is a big no no when you're on ANTI DEPRESSANTS), but you can't call to see how he is?
It seems to me like you guys are not good for him. I have been there for him - I have done whatever I could to make him feel better, I've listened to him cry at night and feel bad because he's lonely and has no friends.
And then you dare to tell me that I'm not good enough, even though I've been the one doing all the work this time? I'm sorry, but I feel like you don't know him well enough to judge what's best for him. And you don't know me well enough to judge me at all.
And Bradley knows about this post. I told him I was making it. He agrees with me about you two, and I apologized to him - because I felt bad that I couldn't get along with you guys. But it wasn't me, it was you guys and being too damn judgemental, and snooty.. And he says when he's well enough again, he's...how did Bradley say this...."set things straight" with you guys.
Just so you know, even if you somehow kiss enough ass to Bradley and apologize and you guys are friends again, you will never be welcome in my house. If you people, who are so closeby, can't even be there for someone you consider a friend, then you're not fit to be near him or me.
_tasteinmen ) was the only one who was ever nice to me or ever supported me, as both Bradley's friend and mine. You idiots could learn a thing or two from her. Instead, you're too engrossed in getting drunk or "being an amazing student."
Fuck off.
Sincerely,
Amanda