tomorrow we will remember violence;

[fleur_de_soleil]

i don't want to go tomorrow.
i don't want to stand there and have you all collectively remind me - remind us
that inelegant truth, the didactics of being this half
that we are eyes and hips and lips and thighs, that we are somehow elegant
hair tumbling seductively over smooth uncovered shoulders
bare venuses rising from some unknown bivalve in a white frothy warm sea
that we mere compositions of light and colour, delicacy and poise,
fury and sound;
the ever adorned mattresses, the scintillating backdrop
some robotic drone dissimilar down to the cytoskeletal level
you, i, she, us, we ;
some flip-switch hit or miss clitoris and some other
canned peach wet sleeve bat cave cunt
the swish of fabric over the smooth symmetrical
rotational solid integral curve of breasts

i refuse.
i am a soul a red beating carnal one time beginning heart
becoming this
mitochondrial eve
this reaper and sower this
hunter this architect this builder this
artist this poet this singer this griot
this fortuneteller launcher of ships saint
mother of beginnings and endings and this
radioactive marie curie this
sharp tongued simone beavoir, long limbed martha graham
starbound robertabondar, boddhisattva seeking aung san suu kyi,

i, not mother mary, the womb of compassion, the earth mother goddess
maiden virginal sacrificial small livestock mammal analog posession
do not covet thy neighbour's
woman,
i am your functioning half.
and i forgive you for years of misuse and neglect and mislabelling and
tyranny and anger and beatings and lynchings and rapings and
forgettings
and that heart wrenching apathy as
at the altar of final benediction, i was carelessly announced as your
assistant
but i'm no longer silent. do not make me into some
marble imaginatory dilettante provisionary sidekick;
i am no mechanical gearboxlightswitchelegantcurved
body but the sweet singing lightning hot microconnected
joywonderful
soul that it has housed for the last 4 million years.