WHY? WHY? WHY?
So I don't know what to do. Apparently I'm really "immature" because I stupidly still wonder what's going on in my ex's life. I KNOW I SHOULDN'T, but I still do just a little bit.
Yesterday he wrote a column, saying he was seeing someone. Naturally I felt a little sick about this. He had told me he didn't want relationships when he dumped me, blah blah, and stupid me, I believed him. And I felt like now I had proof that what that really meant, of course, I already knew this, but still, was "I don't want you." So that stung. But then I decided I should be happy for him. I was bored at work, so I called some of my friends, and I stupidly let it slip into the conversation, and asked who he was seeing. I knew I shouldn't have, but I did anyway.
Then I talked to Sam last night. She read the article, then I called her when I got out of work. She could understand why I was feeling a bit weird about the whole thing, and she (sorry hun, but for once I do agree with him, this wasn't the smartest thing to do) thought it would be a good idea for her to email him and ask if it was true. She thought she could get away with it, but a part of me knew he would know, and I knew he would be mad. I'm not sure why I care, but I knew it wasn't very smart.
So he called me this morning. At first being sort of nice, and then he launched into this speech about how immature I am to have my friend email him. And for me to call people to ask about him. I agreed with him. But I don't think he was listening. He just kept going on about how immature I am. I tried to tell him I didn't tell Sam to email him, but of course I was lying. You know, I do that, apparently. I am a big liar. Ugh. He was right about the part where I should have just called him if I wanted to know. But I was scared. This guy has treated me like shit for the past few months. I'm not afraid to say I'm afraid of him. Every time we talk he calls me immature and won't believe what I tell him. He "hears" all these things, and twists it into something that makes me look bad.
I'm sick of it. I am just sick of it. So I am just going to try to stay out of his life. This is so frustrating. I don't know why we can't just stop being petty and be friends. I don't think either of us really understand what is going on, and we probably never will.
Sigh.
The good part about this all is that it really doesn't bother me all that much. It does a little, but mostly I'm just thinking about all I have to do at work today because they actually gave me a bunch of stuff!
So don't worry about me, dear friends, I just wanted you all to know what's going on.
On the silly side, I finally called Tony. Yes, THAT Tony. I kinda ran into him at work last night, and started feeling bad about what I did to him. I don't know if I will see him again. I'm actually hoping that we can just talk on the phone and he can provide me with some entertainment....
Yesterday he wrote a column, saying he was seeing someone. Naturally I felt a little sick about this. He had told me he didn't want relationships when he dumped me, blah blah, and stupid me, I believed him. And I felt like now I had proof that what that really meant, of course, I already knew this, but still, was "I don't want you." So that stung. But then I decided I should be happy for him. I was bored at work, so I called some of my friends, and I stupidly let it slip into the conversation, and asked who he was seeing. I knew I shouldn't have, but I did anyway.
Then I talked to Sam last night. She read the article, then I called her when I got out of work. She could understand why I was feeling a bit weird about the whole thing, and she (sorry hun, but for once I do agree with him, this wasn't the smartest thing to do) thought it would be a good idea for her to email him and ask if it was true. She thought she could get away with it, but a part of me knew he would know, and I knew he would be mad. I'm not sure why I care, but I knew it wasn't very smart.
So he called me this morning. At first being sort of nice, and then he launched into this speech about how immature I am to have my friend email him. And for me to call people to ask about him. I agreed with him. But I don't think he was listening. He just kept going on about how immature I am. I tried to tell him I didn't tell Sam to email him, but of course I was lying. You know, I do that, apparently. I am a big liar. Ugh. He was right about the part where I should have just called him if I wanted to know. But I was scared. This guy has treated me like shit for the past few months. I'm not afraid to say I'm afraid of him. Every time we talk he calls me immature and won't believe what I tell him. He "hears" all these things, and twists it into something that makes me look bad.
I'm sick of it. I am just sick of it. So I am just going to try to stay out of his life. This is so frustrating. I don't know why we can't just stop being petty and be friends. I don't think either of us really understand what is going on, and we probably never will.
Sigh.
The good part about this all is that it really doesn't bother me all that much. It does a little, but mostly I'm just thinking about all I have to do at work today because they actually gave me a bunch of stuff!
So don't worry about me, dear friends, I just wanted you all to know what's going on.
On the silly side, I finally called Tony. Yes, THAT Tony. I kinda ran into him at work last night, and started feeling bad about what I did to him. I don't know if I will see him again. I'm actually hoping that we can just talk on the phone and he can provide me with some entertainment....