Done.
I am fucking done with guys. Last week was full of too many guys, too many stupid things.
None of it meant anything to me. And that's what bugs me the most. Not that none of those guys are talking to me; it's just that I don't care.
So I'm done. I wasn't even trying in the first place. Stuff just happens. Now I just know that doing that stuff is pointless, because it means nothing, and I don't have time for it right now.
I am going to spend the next year laughing, spending time with friends as many friends as I can, working and doing my class work. That's it. Nothing else is really worth it to me right now.
Someday I might find the guy who deserves me, who treats me right and who matches everything listed here. I also don't want to just do stuff that means nothing. I am someone who likes to FEEL things, not just do them. That sometimes drives me crazy about myself, but it is also something I love. Lately I don't feel like I've been quite myself. I was just starting to learn to love myself again, and I go do all this stupid stuff. Why? No reason. So I am done. I know there have to be good guys out there somewhere. I just haven't run into them yet!
So until then, I'm done. I am not mad at anyone, just done being stupid.
On a brighter note, Mark W. Smith is one of the greatest guys I know. He went to Florida over Christmas break and brought me back a palm tree. A REAL LIVE FREAKING PALM TREE! It is seriously one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. I don't know what I'd do without Mark. Actually, I think I found out what happens when I don't have Mark around. Last week happens.
None of it meant anything to me. And that's what bugs me the most. Not that none of those guys are talking to me; it's just that I don't care.
So I'm done. I wasn't even trying in the first place. Stuff just happens. Now I just know that doing that stuff is pointless, because it means nothing, and I don't have time for it right now.
I am going to spend the next year laughing, spending time with friends as many friends as I can, working and doing my class work. That's it. Nothing else is really worth it to me right now.
Someday I might find the guy who deserves me, who treats me right and who matches everything listed here. I also don't want to just do stuff that means nothing. I am someone who likes to FEEL things, not just do them. That sometimes drives me crazy about myself, but it is also something I love. Lately I don't feel like I've been quite myself. I was just starting to learn to love myself again, and I go do all this stupid stuff. Why? No reason. So I am done. I know there have to be good guys out there somewhere. I just haven't run into them yet!
So until then, I'm done. I am not mad at anyone, just done being stupid.
On a brighter note, Mark W. Smith is one of the greatest guys I know. He went to Florida over Christmas break and brought me back a palm tree. A REAL LIVE FREAKING PALM TREE! It is seriously one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. I don't know what I'd do without Mark. Actually, I think I found out what happens when I don't have Mark around. Last week happens.