Let the dust settle (genfic, 870 words, crack)
Let the dust settle
(genfic, 870 words, crack)
It wasn't a bad day when Sam woke up. Then he discovered Dean had turned into a giant dust bunny, so it was.
:::
The bits of the dust bunny that were Dean were easy to differentiate from the bits of the dust bunny that were just dust because the bits of the dust bunny that were Dean kept drifting into undeniably rude shapes. Sam pretended not to notice the surprisingly detailed dust-sculpture of a pair of breasts as he fetched an old fast food napkin to gather the dust bunny in.
:::
Sometimes, Sam and Dean turned into other things. It happened. It was dealt with. Then normal service resumed and Sam and Dean went on with the usual routine of restless spirits, demons and cryptozoological weirdness.
At least being a giant dust bunny cut down on Dean's ability to angst about Hell; Sam had spent a while considering the dust bunny to make sure it wasn't angsting about Hell. The dust bunny appeared as emotionally stable as it was possible for a dust bunny to appear.
:::
Other people might think it was weird for Sam to be driving around with a dust bunny on the car seat beside him. Other people, people who weren't Sam and Dean, might think it was very weird indeed. The most important thought Sam had about driving around with a dust bunny on the car seat beside him was that he should be careful not to catch Dean in the breeze when he opened or closed the car door.
:::
The dust bunny was not capable of consuming a cheeseburger. Coffee only made the dust bunny soggy.
The dust bunny could not fire a gun, not could it clean a gun. It could, however, clog up the fan in Sam's laptop.
:::
Sam went to sleep with the dust bunny on the pillow by his head. Sam woke up with the dust bunny lodged up his left nostril. He interpreted this as the dust bunny searching for comfort and closeness, and not an attempt by the dust bunny to murder him. After he had removed the dust bunny from his nose, he explained to it that he had not done so because he was rejecting the dust bunny but because his left nostril was not a healthy place for the dust bunny to go to sleep. It was not healthy for the dust bunny and it was not healthy for Sam.
:::
In the morning, Bobby and Ruby and Castiel and Uriel and Lilith and the ghost of Jessica Moore turned up at the door.
"Sorry," said Sam. "We're kind of busy right now. Could you come back later?"
He closed the door and went back to picking bits of lint and hair out of the dust bunny, because the thing about dust bunnies was that they tended to pick up a lot of junk.
:::
The next time Dean turned into a giant dust bunny, Sam knew not to try introducing him to anyone as, "This is my brother Dean. He can't say hello right now because he's a dust bunny, but I think he looks pleased to meet you."
This was an important life lesson and had many related applications.
:::
The six minutes that the dust bunny spent hiding under the bed were the longest six minutes of Sam's life since Dean went to Hell. Sam didn't think it was a very funny prank but he suspected the dust bunny thought it was. Sam gave the dust bunny a serious talk about how last time the dust bunny thought it was funny to hide places, Sam had had to rescue it from the housekeeping, and does the dust bunny remember what had happened then? Yes, that's right, what had happened then was that they had to leave because the motel manager was threatening to call the police and two of the housekeeping staff were in tears.
"So no more hiding, 'kay?" Sam said.
:::
Dust bunnies weren't able to eat pie either. Sam thought the dust bunny definitely looked sad about that.
:::
Sam realised that he quite liked the word 'dust bunny'. It was a cute word, even if the actual dust bunny itself was not particularly. Dust bunnies in general did not tend to be cute, because they were made of dust, which was made of skin cells and hair, and textile and paper fibres, and anything else that was floating around in the surrounding environment. There were no bunnies in dust bunnies, unless there happened to be bunnies floating around in the surrounding environment. Even when Dean the dust bunny wasn't making rude shapes, he didn't look much like a bunny.
Sam wasn't sure where the 'bunny' part came from.
Sam had these thoughts while he was exorcising a demon with his mind. He felt that having his brother the dust bunny tucked into his pocket at the time balanced out any possible Antichrist vibes to such an act.
:::
In the morning, Dean was not a dust bunny anymore.
"That was weird," Sam said to him.
"Yeah," said Dean.
"Anyway," Sam said, "I found some pretty weird deaths in Tulsa. Think we should take a look."
~end
Now with totally adorable art!
(genfic, 870 words, crack)
It wasn't a bad day when Sam woke up. Then he discovered Dean had turned into a giant dust bunny, so it was.
:::
The bits of the dust bunny that were Dean were easy to differentiate from the bits of the dust bunny that were just dust because the bits of the dust bunny that were Dean kept drifting into undeniably rude shapes. Sam pretended not to notice the surprisingly detailed dust-sculpture of a pair of breasts as he fetched an old fast food napkin to gather the dust bunny in.
:::
Sometimes, Sam and Dean turned into other things. It happened. It was dealt with. Then normal service resumed and Sam and Dean went on with the usual routine of restless spirits, demons and cryptozoological weirdness.
At least being a giant dust bunny cut down on Dean's ability to angst about Hell; Sam had spent a while considering the dust bunny to make sure it wasn't angsting about Hell. The dust bunny appeared as emotionally stable as it was possible for a dust bunny to appear.
:::
Other people might think it was weird for Sam to be driving around with a dust bunny on the car seat beside him. Other people, people who weren't Sam and Dean, might think it was very weird indeed. The most important thought Sam had about driving around with a dust bunny on the car seat beside him was that he should be careful not to catch Dean in the breeze when he opened or closed the car door.
:::
The dust bunny was not capable of consuming a cheeseburger. Coffee only made the dust bunny soggy.
The dust bunny could not fire a gun, not could it clean a gun. It could, however, clog up the fan in Sam's laptop.
:::
Sam went to sleep with the dust bunny on the pillow by his head. Sam woke up with the dust bunny lodged up his left nostril. He interpreted this as the dust bunny searching for comfort and closeness, and not an attempt by the dust bunny to murder him. After he had removed the dust bunny from his nose, he explained to it that he had not done so because he was rejecting the dust bunny but because his left nostril was not a healthy place for the dust bunny to go to sleep. It was not healthy for the dust bunny and it was not healthy for Sam.
:::
In the morning, Bobby and Ruby and Castiel and Uriel and Lilith and the ghost of Jessica Moore turned up at the door.
"Sorry," said Sam. "We're kind of busy right now. Could you come back later?"
He closed the door and went back to picking bits of lint and hair out of the dust bunny, because the thing about dust bunnies was that they tended to pick up a lot of junk.
:::
The next time Dean turned into a giant dust bunny, Sam knew not to try introducing him to anyone as, "This is my brother Dean. He can't say hello right now because he's a dust bunny, but I think he looks pleased to meet you."
This was an important life lesson and had many related applications.
:::
The six minutes that the dust bunny spent hiding under the bed were the longest six minutes of Sam's life since Dean went to Hell. Sam didn't think it was a very funny prank but he suspected the dust bunny thought it was. Sam gave the dust bunny a serious talk about how last time the dust bunny thought it was funny to hide places, Sam had had to rescue it from the housekeeping, and does the dust bunny remember what had happened then? Yes, that's right, what had happened then was that they had to leave because the motel manager was threatening to call the police and two of the housekeeping staff were in tears.
"So no more hiding, 'kay?" Sam said.
:::
Dust bunnies weren't able to eat pie either. Sam thought the dust bunny definitely looked sad about that.
:::
Sam realised that he quite liked the word 'dust bunny'. It was a cute word, even if the actual dust bunny itself was not particularly. Dust bunnies in general did not tend to be cute, because they were made of dust, which was made of skin cells and hair, and textile and paper fibres, and anything else that was floating around in the surrounding environment. There were no bunnies in dust bunnies, unless there happened to be bunnies floating around in the surrounding environment. Even when Dean the dust bunny wasn't making rude shapes, he didn't look much like a bunny.
Sam wasn't sure where the 'bunny' part came from.
Sam had these thoughts while he was exorcising a demon with his mind. He felt that having his brother the dust bunny tucked into his pocket at the time balanced out any possible Antichrist vibes to such an act.
:::
In the morning, Dean was not a dust bunny anymore.
"That was weird," Sam said to him.
"Yeah," said Dean.
"Anyway," Sam said, "I found some pretty weird deaths in Tulsa. Think we should take a look."
~end
Now with totally adorable art!