Someone you might have been (part 6 of 39)
So, the ongoing warnings issue has been resolved. Whereas I'd really prefer it if everyone could just trust me to write what I want (yes, I'm spoilt, cruel and capricious, why do you ask?), I have a post here which PLEASE don't look at if you can possibly bear with me. But if you really can't, then... there it is.
And onto part six of the spy-thing that apparently is my brain's favourite (and only) playground.
Someone you might have been
Secret agent!Jared/handler!Jensen... on (unspecified) location.
part five
Apparently, as far as Jensen is concerned, the approval of the ISA executives is like the word of fucking God. If they say he can go with Jared, then Jensen is fucking going.
Jared doesn't have the power of veto. Which is all kinds of ridiculous, because he's the guy who knows what it's actually gonna be like in there, and Jensen should most definitely be kept at a distance from it. A distance of, like, two or three timezones.
For the fiftieth time, Jensen explains just why he's come up with such a freaking stupid plan.
"It's simply not possible to hack into the security network externally. I need access to one of the compound computers. There's absolutely no way you can get through the compound to the core chambers without me disabling security. It's just how it has to be."
He sounds so calm, like this is all perfectly rational, and Jared has the sudden, blistering urge to grab him by the shoulders and shake him until his eyes pop out of their sockets. Or maybe kiss him until his brain fucking reboots and he comes to his senses.
"I can't make any guarantees about your safety," Jared says. "You know that, don't you? I'm gonna have to focus on retrieving the vials. I can't be babysitting your ass too."
And the really worrying thing is that Jared's pretty sure he's lying. He knows the assignment comes first. He has a responsibility to the job that must come above Jensen. But there's also this niggling little certainty at the back of his head that tells him he'll take some pretty stupid risks to ensure Jensen gets out in one piece.
He just really wants Jensen to understand how this plan is so not one of his best.
But it doesn't look like the message has got through. Jensen is looking at him with narrowed eyes and a contemptuous expression.
"I can handle my own exit strategy, thanks. Incredibly, I'm not going to be relying upon you for anything, except to do your job, okay?" When Jared just goes on looking at him, Jensen sighs and seems to take pity on him. "Look, I'll be in an office, right up by the front gate. In and out, nice and easy. I've done stuff way more dangerous than this. It's gonna be fine."
And maybe it's because Jared doesn't stand a chance against big green eyes and softly pursed lips, but he stupidly kind of believes Jensen.
:::
With the last passcode entered on the keypad, the chamber door slides open and a blast of chill air sweeps over Jared. He checks that his black leather gloves are still snug about his wrists, and then reaches in and ever-so-carefully lifts out the slim silver case. The front of it is transparent and he peers a little closer at the five vials of violently green liquid inside.
"Exactly how dangerous is this?" he murmurs.
"I wouldn't recommend gargling with it," Jensen says, low and amused in his ear.
It's almost hypnotic how green it is.
"You know what it makes me think of?" Jared says.
Jensen laughs. "I'm not even gonna try figuring out what goes on in your brain, Sasquatch."
"You," says Jared. "It makes me think of your eyes. It's the same green."
There's a long pause, and Jared kneels there in front of the freezer chamber, in the huge metal core of the compound, with the fan rotors spinning in loud sweeps beneath the panel floor, and the soft hush of Jensen's breathing in his ear.
"That's real romantic," Jensen says finally. "The toxic nerve agent, which could wipe out everything from Los Angeles to Sacramento in the right weather conditions, makes you think of me." Jensen laughs again and says, "C'mon, buddy, just get the hell out. And please be careful with that case."
:::
Jared is almost at his extraction point when Jensen breaks silence and says, "Huh… Wow."
His tone is kind of blank but Jared thinks he might be hearing a note of concern in there.
"Zoolander? We still on course?"
"Uh… yeah. But I'd recommend you move a little faster, Sasquatch. The… uh… well, the compound seems about to come under attack. I'm tracking at least two armoured personnel carriers and a couple of military units, if you can call them that, heading this way. Looks like the civil war's spread south a little sooner than expected."
And as if to punctuate this, Jared hears the distant rumble of shelling.
"Can you still get out?"
"Uh, yeah, don't worry. Proceed to the extraction point, Sasquatch."
There's nothing, really, to make Jared think Jensen's lying. Nothing in his tone, or the speed with which he says it that makes Jared believe that Jensen's trapped. Nothing. And Jared really can't take risks with the bottled-apocalypse he's got in the case he's carrying. He needs to get it somewhere safe, even more urgently now the compound is about to turn into a battleground.
Which totally doesn't explain why Jared finds himself turning around and heading back to Jensen's location.
It's like the compound's come alive. Guards and military personnel are swarming everywhere and an alarm starts off, bleating through the metal corridors, like the growing sound of gunfire isn't enough of a clue that some serious shit is going down.
Jared tucks the highly dangerous case under his arm, makes like he belongs there, and pushes his way through the chaos.
"Sasquatch? What are you doing, Sasquatch?" Jensen says, in a tone of controlled panic. "Please tell me you're not doing what I think you're doing. Please, for the love of God, tell me I'm reading things wrong and you're not actually coming back here."
"Why don't you just hide under a desk or something until I get there, 'kay?"
There's a sudden burst of very expressive cursing, then Sasq-, before static shrills through Jared's earpiece and the comm.-link goes down.
Jared moves a little faster.
:::
The admin wing where Jensen's set up is pretty much deserted by the time Jared gets there. Evacuation protocols are in action, he figures, and everyone else is pretty distracted with the goddamn battle that's going on. And, not that Jared's gonna be enough of a bastard to mention it, but there's no way Jensen'd be able to make it through that alone. He's just a handler, for God's sake, and he's only lucky he's too pretty for Jared to leave behind to get shot at and blown up.
Just as well Jared goes back for him, really, because when Jared finds him, Jensen is not hiding under a desk.
Jensen has a gun at his temple and is stubbornly arguing with some harassed looking rent-a-guard, who's holding the gun, about how he totally belongs in the compound and it's not his fault that the merc doesn't have high enough security clearance to know who Jensen is. He sounds so very pissy that it looks like he's more than half way to convincing the guy.
Unfortunately, however, Jared doesn't have time to watch this little drama play out. He'd shoot the guy, but he can't take the risk of him getting that one lucky shot off and splattering Jensen's brains over the opposite wall.
Instead, he walks in and says, "Hi," to the rent-a-guard, flourishes the case, and says, "Do you know what this is?"
The guy frowns dumbly at Jared, at the case, back at Jared, before shaking his head. It occurs to Jared then that he doesn't actually know exactly what he has in the case either. He racks his brains, trying to dredge up the chemical name for whatever the hell it is. Surely Jensen told him at some point?
Or not.
"It's very very bad shit," he says finally. "And if you hurt my buddy there, I'm gonna be very distressed, and throw this case very hard at the ground, and turn this place into one hell of a fucking mass grave."
Jensen's gaze slides towards Jared in absolute horror. It seems like he preferred to take his chances with the gun to his head.
"You're bluffing," the soldier says. "That'd kill you too. You'd have to be fucking insane."
"You hurt him and I might go crazy with grief. Can't tell what I'd do then," Jared reasons. "C'mon, let me just take my boytoy and this very bad shit and get outta here. And, there's a war on your doorstep, y'know? You might wanna be in it, or maybe I don't know, be running the hell away from it. But you don't wanna be here."
"I'm not his boytoy," Jensen immediately tells the guard, sounding serious and sincere, as soon as he can get a word in.
Jared only notices Jensen readying to move just seconds before he does: grabbing the merc's wrist and twisting the gun away from his temple, while he swings with his other fist and punches the guy out. The merc goes down with a heavy thud. Jared blinks and lowers the case.
"You are supposed to be a couple of miles away by now," Jensen hisses at him. "And you don't use the fucking remix of the bubonic fucking plague as a fucking cheap threat! You fucking dick!"
"Why aren't you hiding under a desk like I told you to?" Jared says.
Jensen looks about ready to throttle him. But instead, before Jared has to defend himself and restrain Jensen over one of the desks or something - because obviously self-defence against Jensen would include a lot of body-contact - Jensen regains his composure, huffily removes the case from Jared, and says, "Are you ready to leave now?"
:::
Jared's run protection assignments before, and he's been in warzones before, so getting out isn't exactly taxing. Jensen keeps the case clutched to his chest and his arms wrapped protectively around it, and Jared holds onto him with one hand, and uses the other to shoot whoever gets in the way of their escape.
Surprisingly, Jensen doesn't protest so much as once about Jared manhandling him. He's all pliant obedience, which is kind of a rush. He curls in tight against Jared whenever they have to take cover, keeps out of the way when Jared's fighting. And when a shell takes off the corner of the room they're currently in, and Jared drags Jensen down to floor, presses him under his own body to shield him from the blast, Jared feels Jensen shivering - his muscles trembling with fear and adrenaline.
As the sound of it fades away, Jared lifts himself on his elbows, and sees Jensen staring up at him, debris dust in his hair and on his eyelashes, lips gnawed red and wet. It's totally not Jared's fault he gets a little hard right then.
He offers Jensen his hand and pulls him to his feet.
"C'mon," he says, "we're almost out."
:::
As their stolen Jeep bumps and shudders over the sand, the sound of fighting is distant, lost on the hot, hazy breeze that shimmers across the desert. In the rear-view mirror, Jared can see the smoke rising from the compound.
He feels a stupid, sudden sense of glee. Yeah, he's screwed up pretty hugely. He's jeopardised the entire assignment, played fast and loose with some serious chemical weapons. The correct course of action when he suspected that Jensen was trapped would be to continue with his own exit and then contact ISA to let them know Jensen had been left behind.
Of course, he could always make the argument that he believed leaving Jensen behind was a security risk, that he could have been tortured for information, and that's probably what he'll end up saying.
But it's not true.
Jared doesn't know for sure, but he strongly suspects Jensen would headdesk himself to death before he shared any classified information. They probably wouldn't even have got name, rank and serial number out of him.
He went back for Jensen because he didn't want him to die, plain and simple. Not even because he didn't want Jensen's death on his conscience. But because he likes having Jensen around.
"Christ," says Jensen grouchily, still holding the case to his chest like some weird kind of comfort blanket. "When we get back, I'm gonna have some things to say about intelligence in this area. They said we had another three weeks, for sure, before the fighting'd reach here. Three fucking weeks, they said. Fucking incompetent assholes."
Okay. That's it right there: Jared likes having a pissy, pretty handler who makes him want to take stupid risks while on assignment. He is so very very screwed.
part seven
And onto part six of the spy-thing that apparently is my brain's favourite (and only) playground.
Someone you might have been
Secret agent!Jared/handler!Jensen... on (unspecified) location.
part five
Apparently, as far as Jensen is concerned, the approval of the ISA executives is like the word of fucking God. If they say he can go with Jared, then Jensen is fucking going.
Jared doesn't have the power of veto. Which is all kinds of ridiculous, because he's the guy who knows what it's actually gonna be like in there, and Jensen should most definitely be kept at a distance from it. A distance of, like, two or three timezones.
For the fiftieth time, Jensen explains just why he's come up with such a freaking stupid plan.
"It's simply not possible to hack into the security network externally. I need access to one of the compound computers. There's absolutely no way you can get through the compound to the core chambers without me disabling security. It's just how it has to be."
He sounds so calm, like this is all perfectly rational, and Jared has the sudden, blistering urge to grab him by the shoulders and shake him until his eyes pop out of their sockets. Or maybe kiss him until his brain fucking reboots and he comes to his senses.
"I can't make any guarantees about your safety," Jared says. "You know that, don't you? I'm gonna have to focus on retrieving the vials. I can't be babysitting your ass too."
And the really worrying thing is that Jared's pretty sure he's lying. He knows the assignment comes first. He has a responsibility to the job that must come above Jensen. But there's also this niggling little certainty at the back of his head that tells him he'll take some pretty stupid risks to ensure Jensen gets out in one piece.
He just really wants Jensen to understand how this plan is so not one of his best.
But it doesn't look like the message has got through. Jensen is looking at him with narrowed eyes and a contemptuous expression.
"I can handle my own exit strategy, thanks. Incredibly, I'm not going to be relying upon you for anything, except to do your job, okay?" When Jared just goes on looking at him, Jensen sighs and seems to take pity on him. "Look, I'll be in an office, right up by the front gate. In and out, nice and easy. I've done stuff way more dangerous than this. It's gonna be fine."
And maybe it's because Jared doesn't stand a chance against big green eyes and softly pursed lips, but he stupidly kind of believes Jensen.
:::
With the last passcode entered on the keypad, the chamber door slides open and a blast of chill air sweeps over Jared. He checks that his black leather gloves are still snug about his wrists, and then reaches in and ever-so-carefully lifts out the slim silver case. The front of it is transparent and he peers a little closer at the five vials of violently green liquid inside.
"Exactly how dangerous is this?" he murmurs.
"I wouldn't recommend gargling with it," Jensen says, low and amused in his ear.
It's almost hypnotic how green it is.
"You know what it makes me think of?" Jared says.
Jensen laughs. "I'm not even gonna try figuring out what goes on in your brain, Sasquatch."
"You," says Jared. "It makes me think of your eyes. It's the same green."
There's a long pause, and Jared kneels there in front of the freezer chamber, in the huge metal core of the compound, with the fan rotors spinning in loud sweeps beneath the panel floor, and the soft hush of Jensen's breathing in his ear.
"That's real romantic," Jensen says finally. "The toxic nerve agent, which could wipe out everything from Los Angeles to Sacramento in the right weather conditions, makes you think of me." Jensen laughs again and says, "C'mon, buddy, just get the hell out. And please be careful with that case."
:::
Jared is almost at his extraction point when Jensen breaks silence and says, "Huh… Wow."
His tone is kind of blank but Jared thinks he might be hearing a note of concern in there.
"Zoolander? We still on course?"
"Uh… yeah. But I'd recommend you move a little faster, Sasquatch. The… uh… well, the compound seems about to come under attack. I'm tracking at least two armoured personnel carriers and a couple of military units, if you can call them that, heading this way. Looks like the civil war's spread south a little sooner than expected."
And as if to punctuate this, Jared hears the distant rumble of shelling.
"Can you still get out?"
"Uh, yeah, don't worry. Proceed to the extraction point, Sasquatch."
There's nothing, really, to make Jared think Jensen's lying. Nothing in his tone, or the speed with which he says it that makes Jared believe that Jensen's trapped. Nothing. And Jared really can't take risks with the bottled-apocalypse he's got in the case he's carrying. He needs to get it somewhere safe, even more urgently now the compound is about to turn into a battleground.
Which totally doesn't explain why Jared finds himself turning around and heading back to Jensen's location.
It's like the compound's come alive. Guards and military personnel are swarming everywhere and an alarm starts off, bleating through the metal corridors, like the growing sound of gunfire isn't enough of a clue that some serious shit is going down.
Jared tucks the highly dangerous case under his arm, makes like he belongs there, and pushes his way through the chaos.
"Sasquatch? What are you doing, Sasquatch?" Jensen says, in a tone of controlled panic. "Please tell me you're not doing what I think you're doing. Please, for the love of God, tell me I'm reading things wrong and you're not actually coming back here."
"Why don't you just hide under a desk or something until I get there, 'kay?"
There's a sudden burst of very expressive cursing, then Sasq-, before static shrills through Jared's earpiece and the comm.-link goes down.
Jared moves a little faster.
:::
The admin wing where Jensen's set up is pretty much deserted by the time Jared gets there. Evacuation protocols are in action, he figures, and everyone else is pretty distracted with the goddamn battle that's going on. And, not that Jared's gonna be enough of a bastard to mention it, but there's no way Jensen'd be able to make it through that alone. He's just a handler, for God's sake, and he's only lucky he's too pretty for Jared to leave behind to get shot at and blown up.
Just as well Jared goes back for him, really, because when Jared finds him, Jensen is not hiding under a desk.
Jensen has a gun at his temple and is stubbornly arguing with some harassed looking rent-a-guard, who's holding the gun, about how he totally belongs in the compound and it's not his fault that the merc doesn't have high enough security clearance to know who Jensen is. He sounds so very pissy that it looks like he's more than half way to convincing the guy.
Unfortunately, however, Jared doesn't have time to watch this little drama play out. He'd shoot the guy, but he can't take the risk of him getting that one lucky shot off and splattering Jensen's brains over the opposite wall.
Instead, he walks in and says, "Hi," to the rent-a-guard, flourishes the case, and says, "Do you know what this is?"
The guy frowns dumbly at Jared, at the case, back at Jared, before shaking his head. It occurs to Jared then that he doesn't actually know exactly what he has in the case either. He racks his brains, trying to dredge up the chemical name for whatever the hell it is. Surely Jensen told him at some point?
Or not.
"It's very very bad shit," he says finally. "And if you hurt my buddy there, I'm gonna be very distressed, and throw this case very hard at the ground, and turn this place into one hell of a fucking mass grave."
Jensen's gaze slides towards Jared in absolute horror. It seems like he preferred to take his chances with the gun to his head.
"You're bluffing," the soldier says. "That'd kill you too. You'd have to be fucking insane."
"You hurt him and I might go crazy with grief. Can't tell what I'd do then," Jared reasons. "C'mon, let me just take my boytoy and this very bad shit and get outta here. And, there's a war on your doorstep, y'know? You might wanna be in it, or maybe I don't know, be running the hell away from it. But you don't wanna be here."
"I'm not his boytoy," Jensen immediately tells the guard, sounding serious and sincere, as soon as he can get a word in.
Jared only notices Jensen readying to move just seconds before he does: grabbing the merc's wrist and twisting the gun away from his temple, while he swings with his other fist and punches the guy out. The merc goes down with a heavy thud. Jared blinks and lowers the case.
"You are supposed to be a couple of miles away by now," Jensen hisses at him. "And you don't use the fucking remix of the bubonic fucking plague as a fucking cheap threat! You fucking dick!"
"Why aren't you hiding under a desk like I told you to?" Jared says.
Jensen looks about ready to throttle him. But instead, before Jared has to defend himself and restrain Jensen over one of the desks or something - because obviously self-defence against Jensen would include a lot of body-contact - Jensen regains his composure, huffily removes the case from Jared, and says, "Are you ready to leave now?"
:::
Jared's run protection assignments before, and he's been in warzones before, so getting out isn't exactly taxing. Jensen keeps the case clutched to his chest and his arms wrapped protectively around it, and Jared holds onto him with one hand, and uses the other to shoot whoever gets in the way of their escape.
Surprisingly, Jensen doesn't protest so much as once about Jared manhandling him. He's all pliant obedience, which is kind of a rush. He curls in tight against Jared whenever they have to take cover, keeps out of the way when Jared's fighting. And when a shell takes off the corner of the room they're currently in, and Jared drags Jensen down to floor, presses him under his own body to shield him from the blast, Jared feels Jensen shivering - his muscles trembling with fear and adrenaline.
As the sound of it fades away, Jared lifts himself on his elbows, and sees Jensen staring up at him, debris dust in his hair and on his eyelashes, lips gnawed red and wet. It's totally not Jared's fault he gets a little hard right then.
He offers Jensen his hand and pulls him to his feet.
"C'mon," he says, "we're almost out."
:::
As their stolen Jeep bumps and shudders over the sand, the sound of fighting is distant, lost on the hot, hazy breeze that shimmers across the desert. In the rear-view mirror, Jared can see the smoke rising from the compound.
He feels a stupid, sudden sense of glee. Yeah, he's screwed up pretty hugely. He's jeopardised the entire assignment, played fast and loose with some serious chemical weapons. The correct course of action when he suspected that Jensen was trapped would be to continue with his own exit and then contact ISA to let them know Jensen had been left behind.
Of course, he could always make the argument that he believed leaving Jensen behind was a security risk, that he could have been tortured for information, and that's probably what he'll end up saying.
But it's not true.
Jared doesn't know for sure, but he strongly suspects Jensen would headdesk himself to death before he shared any classified information. They probably wouldn't even have got name, rank and serial number out of him.
He went back for Jensen because he didn't want him to die, plain and simple. Not even because he didn't want Jensen's death on his conscience. But because he likes having Jensen around.
"Christ," says Jensen grouchily, still holding the case to his chest like some weird kind of comfort blanket. "When we get back, I'm gonna have some things to say about intelligence in this area. They said we had another three weeks, for sure, before the fighting'd reach here. Three fucking weeks, they said. Fucking incompetent assholes."
Okay. That's it right there: Jared likes having a pissy, pretty handler who makes him want to take stupid risks while on assignment. He is so very very screwed.
part seven