Over here at the side of your life - 2/2

[fleshflutter]

Clinton Finkel was a bald, blubbery baby of a man. He couldn't deepthroat Jared but he got off on trying. While Clinton slavishly worshipped Jared's cock, Jared propped himself up on his elbows on the creaking bed in the pay-by-the-hour motel room and gazed at the watery brown stain on the far wall that looked a little bit like a map of South America.

Clinton's blowjob was all slobber and whimper. Occasionally he'd gaze up at Jared, red-cheeked and saliva shining on his chin, and Jared would have to break out the cheesy porn-dialogue and tell him what a fucking slut he was. It was times like that he was particularly glad Jensen wasn't around to see him work, because Jensen would think the dirty talk was hilarious and would find opportunities to use it in daily conversation for weeks to come.

And, obviously, it'd be weird to have Jensen watching while some fat, middle-aged guy sucked him off.

Jensen's mouth would probably feel a lot better on his cock than Clinton's did. Jensen's mouth probably looked real nice stuffed full of dick, his pretty lips all swollen and sticky with precome, green eyes sliding shut as he tilted his head back and let Jared fuck his throat, the outline of Jared's cock visible under his skin. And knowing Jensen like he did, Jared figured him for the assholish type who'd use a hint of teeth to remind Jared that while he may be the one on his knees, Jared was the one risking an important piece of flesh. Likewise, Jared had seen Jensen drunk before, had seen some of that self-restraint slip, and he'd bet Jensen was up for all kinds of dirty shit.

A groan slipped out of him and Clinton's hands tightened enthusiastically on his knees. Jared closed his eyes and worked his hips slowly, pretended he had Jensen between his thighs, that he was going to fuck Jensen's mouth until he filled it up with come, so he could kiss and lick it right back out of him.

Jesus, he'd fucking kissed Jensen last night.

"Take it, take that big cock," Jared said, firmly pressing Clinton's mouth down on his dick, while he glanced around for his cellphone. He fumbled it out of his jeans pocket and opened a text to Jensen. But his fingers froze over the buttons. He still didn’t know what he wanted to say to Jensen.

We need to talk, or Want to make out? or Last night was crazy, right?

Or, maybe, Do you think about me as much as I think about you?

In the end, he sent a message saying, We're almost out of milk, and guiltily gave his full attention to Clinton.

:::

The plan had been to drive together from the house to the restaurant to meet the others. But Jensen texted Jared to say he was running late and that Jared should go on without him. Although Jared didn't think he was lying, he really doubted Jensen was torn-up about getting to avoid time alone with him.

When the waiter showed Jared to the table, Lauren gestured at where Mike and Misha were hunched over their cellphones, and said, "It's that end of the table if you want to be in the haiku deathmatch through the medium of Twitter."

Jared looked blank and Katie, crunching on a breadstick, said, "Apparently boys will be boys, and so will most thirty-something guys."

"So what are you guys doing?" Jared said.

"Talking about my grant application to the board," said Sandy.

"With occasional deviations into why Sandy's boss is such an unmitigated bastard," added Lauren. She frowned. "Where's Jensen?"

Jared sat down at their end of the table and reached for a menu. "Got held up at work, but he's coming. How about Chad and Sophia?"

"Stuck in traffic," said Katie. She took another breadstick. "Are we seriously going to wait for them before we order? Because lunch was like a really long time ago."

Jared ate his starter - whiskey drenched scallops - without tasting it, because the chair next to him felt very empty. Jensen liked scallops, and it suddenly felt strange to be eating them without having to fend Jensen's fork away from his plate. He gazed at the white tablecloth, so brightly lit by the restaurant's crystal chandeliers that it hurt to look at, and let the conversation wash over him.

After his plate was empty, Jared checked his watch and allowed himself to look over at the door.

"He knew what time the reservation was," he said. "He didn't say he was going to be this long."

There was a pause, and it suddenly registered with Jared that he'd interrupted a conversation that had nothing to do with Jensen to tell them all that. Lauren and Katie exchanged looks, and Mike reached across to grip Jared's hand. He looked Jared deep in the eyes and gave him a reassuring smile.

"It's okay, kiddo. Daddy'll be home soon."

"Daddy's here now!" Chad proclaimed from behind them. He pulled a chair out for Sophia and then dropped gracelessly into the one next to her. "Ackles is just parking up."

"We'd have been here sooner," said Sophia, "but somehow we ended up taking the scenic route. We went down this street where people have just gone completely crazy with the decorations. I'm sure there are houses under there somewhere but it's not like you can see them under all the lights."

As Jared craned his neck one way to peer at the door, Jensen moved into the seat on the other side. Jared turned to greet him but Jensen was already addressing everyone else.

"Hi, sorry I'm late." He eyed Jared's empty plate and quirked an eyebrow. "Good to see I didn't keep you all waiting."

"If you're going to work such stupid hours then don't expect us to starve waiting for you to make an appearance," said Katie, and she ran her finger through the sauce left on her plate and popped it in her mouth.

"You're gonna take at least a couple days off, though, aren't you?" said Sandy. "Just a few days vacation won't kill you."

"Don't wanna risk it," Jensen said, with a smile that said he didn't want to discuss it either.

Under the cover of Chad talking, Jared leaned in and murmured, "Watch me not mention how pissed off you were when I was late only last night."

"We were the hosts, it's different," said Jensen. He gave Jared a quick, sidelong look, smiling slightly as he added, "But I'm impressed by your restraint."

"So, Jensen," said Katie, flicking a piece of breadstick at him to get his attention. "Did Michael call yet?"

Everyone at the table was suddenly paying attention. Jared looked over sharply, but Katie was smiling at Jensen, and so was Lauren, who said, "Because we gave him your number. After he ever-so subtly inquired if you were single, that is."

Chad whistled lewdly while the others laughed. Beside him, Jared could feel how still Jensen had gone, which meant Jared really needed to know the answer to this one. Michael was supposed to have stopped existing the second Jared scared him off the couch and away from Jensen. He wasn't supposed to have gotten hold of Jensen's number.

He summoned up a grin and prodded Jensen in the side with his elbow.

"So, did he call?" he said.

"Yes, he called this afternoon," said Jensen, sounding patient to the point of indulgence. "He asked me out and I explained that I thought he was a nice guy but I'm just too busy with work."

A rush of happy vindication went through Jared, while the others booed and Katie threw yet more breadstick at Jensen's face.

"If he doesn't want to date, don't put pressure on him," said Jared.

"Is there any chance you're biased, Jared?" said Misha.

It started to get a little uncomfortable. From the look on his face, Jensen was about ready to bolt. Jared would have tried to reassure him but he couldn't with everyone watching. Besides, Jared thought he might have been part of the problem, what with fucking kissing him last night.

"That's stupid, why would he be biased?" said Jensen, but he was looking at Jared as he said it.

Misha shrugged like it was all very reasonable and logical. "Because he'd have to share your time."

"I already share his time with the office," said Jared, trying to keep the defensive note from his voice. "I doubt a boyfriend could take up more of his time."

"Plus Jensen shares Jared with every sad, lonely fuck in the city with the money to pay for it," said Mike.

Jensen snagged Mike's glass of wine and, in the moment before he lifted it to his lips, he murmured, "Fair's fair," just loud enough to be audible.

"Can we talk about something other than Jensen's non-existent love life?" said Jared, while Jensen emptied Mike's glass in three swift gulps. "Something less controversial? Politics or religion, maybe?"

"Maybe it's only non-existent because of you," Mike said, looking between the two of them with an air of detached speculation, like he was studying them afresh.

"And maybe you should go to hell," said Jensen, with a sweet smile. The atmosphere had gone from uncomfortable to a big, black cloud of hostility centered over Jensen.

"I pick politics," Sandy intervened brightly. "Let's talk about healthcare reform and foreign policy towards the Middle East."

"Ooh, healthcare reform!" said Sophia. "I have opinions on this! Let me share them!"

"I let you drink my wine," said Mike, still focused on Jensen.

"No, I stole your wine and you didn't fight me for it," said Jensen. He looked at Mike a second longer and his expression softened. "That was pretty decent of you," he admitted.

"They're cool," reported Chad. "You can drop the healthcare shit."

The look Sophia gave him had Chad sinking back in his chair. "Maybe we want to talk about healthcare reform?" she said. "Or is it just too crazy an idea for you to get your head around that women might have opinions on modern politics?"

As Chad was vehemently protesting that he wasn't a chauvinist, a text came in on Jared's phone. He read it and sighed, getting to his feet. "Business calls, guys," he said. "I'd blow him off but he's a regular and it's really good money."

He pulled out his wallet but Sandy waved a hand. "Nu-uh," she said. "Go, get it done, and get your ass back here in time for dessert, 'kay?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said, throwing in a salute. He bent down and said, "See you back home, if not before," to Jensen, and Jensen nodded, his gaze fixed on the empty wineglass in front of him.

On the street, Jared was just looking for a taxi when he realized Jensen had followed him out. He turned and his smile faded when he took in the bright, wild look in Jensen's eyes, the stubbornness of his clenched jaw. Jensen tilted his face up like he was expecting to get punched and didn't care.

"Don’t go," he said without preamble.

Jared frowned slightly. "It's work. I've got to. Like I said, this guy's a regular and it won't take me long to-"

"Don't go," Jensen said. "Jared-" He paused, and Jared waited for an explanation. All he got was, "Don't go."

Jared clapped Jensen on the shoulder. "We both work insane hours, you know how it is. You get stuck at the office for hours, I get pulled out of a meal with friends." He shrugged. "It's life. And how we pay the mortgage."

He took a step back and Jensen just watched him, unsettling something deep inside Jared with his silent intensity.

"Be back before you miss me," Jared said, and left him there outside the restaurant.

:::

Because the cab ride wasn't an entertaining one and he had nothing else to distract himself with, Jared's mind wandered back, yet again, to kissing Jensen. It wasn't like Jared didn't get kissed often. In his line of work, Jared got kissed plenty. But he remembered that one so vividly because it was Jensen, and because it had been a really good kiss.

And while he was remembering, he remembered that he hadn't just kissed Jensen, Jensen had kissed him back.

Once, a long time ago, Mike had accused Jared of becoming a hooker through inertia. There was more than a little truth in it. Jared had taken the first job when money was tight and the offer had been made. He'd taken a second job because the first had gone okay. And then it just seemed obvious to take a third. At no point had Jared ever outright decided to be a hooker.

When Jared had first met Jensen, he'd assumed there'd be flirting and dating and some kind of romantic relationship. He'd had no expectations where that relationship might go, but he'd thought there'd be one. Instead, things had rolled easily into friendship. And Jared had never challenged that.

The cab smelled of popcorn and the gray upholstery on the backseat was torn in several places to expose the foam padding underneath. Beyond the fogged up window, the sidewalk glittered silver with frost. And Jensen was back at the restaurant.

If Jared did nothing, then this weird feeling between him and Jensen would dissipate and everything would go back to how it was. Jensen would still be Jared's best friend and, aside from some meaningless fantasizing, he wouldn't be anything more than that. Give it a couple of days and everything would settle back into its old shape.

There wouldn't be another kiss. Wouldn't be anything else.

Jared exhaled slowly.

His gaze traveled dully over the rosy bald patch at the back of the taxi driver's scalp, and the rosary strung from the rearview mirror which caught the colors of the holiday lights outside, washed over in red and green and gold.

One day, there'd be a Michael-someone that Jensen wouldn't turn down. It had been a long time since Jensen had had a serious boyfriend but that didn't mean there wasn't a guy out there who could put up with his grouchiness. Hell, most times Jared himself didn't even pay Jensen's grouchiness any attention, especially when it was offset with everything that was awesome about Jensen.

Even as he was sitting there, too still, the cold was gradually creeping into the tips of his fingers.

Jensen had kissed him back, and it had been a damn good kiss. And Jensen had asked him not to go; Jared had gone. So, sure, if Jared went with the flow now, then everything would go back to how it was, they'd be best friends and there'd be pretty much nobody in the world who was more important to Jared than Jensen, and Jensen would never ever kiss Jared again.

"Hey," said Jared, tapping the driver on the shoulder. "Sorry, could you take me back to the restaurant you picked me up from?"

The driver glanced at him. "You wanna go back?" he said, an edge of mild irritation in his voice.

Jared flashed him a cheery grin and nodded.

On the way back, he sent a quick text to his client to apologize that he wouldn't be able to make it tonight. He tipped the driver generously and then paused just for a second outside the restaurant to tidy his hair off his face and try to get over the fluttering nervousness inside his chest.

Inside, he strode over to the table, smiling broadly, and -

- and Jensen's seat was empty.

"That was disturbingly quick," said Mike. "Too quick to be good. I thought you were supposed to be good?"

Jared pointed at Jensen's seat. "Where is he?"

"Gone home," said Lauren. "He said he wasn't feeling well." She folded her arms on the table and leaned in towards him. "Something you want to tell us, Jared?"

They were all looking at him expectantly. Jared shrugged. "Ask me tomorrow?" he offered, before hurrying out of the restaurant in search of yet another taxi.

:::

The house was quiet and dark when Jared got there, so much so that he wondered if Jensen had only said he was coming back but had instead gone off someplace else. That doubt in his mind turned the house strange and unfriendly, an impression made even stronger by the cold air.

Jared shucked off his jacket, dumped his keys on the table and turned on the hallway light.

"Jen?" he called. "You here?"

There was sound from the living room, and then, "Jared?"

He pushed open the door and found Jensen kneeling by the remains of the beer can tree. Christmas balls and tinsel were a tangled mess on the floor, but there were two layers of the tower rebuilt. Jensen put the can in his hand into its place and looked guiltily between the tree and Jared.

"It fell down," he said.

"After you kicked it?" said Jared, amused.

Jensen shrugged and didn't deny it, smiling and frowning at the same time. "I'll fix it."

He bowed his head, the smile falling to leave only the frown, his brows drawn tightly together like a confused child's. Jared had never seen him so unsure of himself. He knelt there in the half-light by the wreck, toying fretfully with a length of tinsel, while he waited for Jared to speak, like he knew it wasn't going to be what he wanted to hear but couldn't bear to leave either.

"What am I doing here, Jen?" said Jared. "You asked me not to go. Why?"

Jensen laughed, short and hot. "You really don't know?"

"I need to hear you say it," Jared told him in a rush.

That got Jensen looking up at him, and the look in his eyes hit Jared right in the heart, making his breath catch in his throat and his blood pulse hard through his body. Only he'd seen that look directed at him from Jensen before, seen it hundreds of times before but never really understood it.

"Oh god," he whispered. "How long have you been in love with me?"

A flush swept over Jensen's cheeks and he looked away again, picking up on rebuilding the tree. In profile, Jared could see the lowered curve of his eyelashes, the quirk of an unhappy smile on his lips.

"You remember that client of yours, Vic someone? Who found out where you lived, came around here?" said Jensen quietly. "When he tried to kiss you, I wanted to kill him. I mean I literally wanted to kill him." The lines of his face went tight and strained for a second before he composed himself again. "I've never really been a jealous guy, y'know? But I can drive myself completely insane just thinking about you with them, and how you don't even see me."

Jared sank to a crouch beside him. "I see you. I've always seen you-"

"I don't mean as a friend, Jared," Jensen said, bitter with unhappiness. He glanced at Jared and then away again, dropped his gaze to the floor. "I'm sorry. I've tried so hard not to feel this way, and I hate myself for taking it out on you that I do, because it's not like you've ever led me on or let me think-"

"That's not why I'm here, Jensen," said Jared, cutting over him. Gently, almost cautiously, he touched Jensen's shoulder, and then his cheek. When Jensen didn't move, Jared slid his fingers under Jensen's jaw and turned his face towards him.

"I'm kinda slow on the uptake sometimes," said Jared, "but I think I might'a been in love with you for a while now."

Jensen didn't say anything for so long that Jared started to wonder if he needed to repeat himself. He found himself getting nervous again, as if he'd somehow, horribly, misinterpreted the obvious things Jensen had said. Maybe he'd only heard what he'd wanted to. His smile started to go fixed, because he couldn't have something this wonderful taken away from him in the same hour he realized he wanted it.

"Are you serious?" said Jensen at last.

"If I said 'just kidding' now, there's a good chance you'd put my ass in the hospital, right?"

Jensen arched an eyebrow. "And there's not a judge in the land that would convict me." He pressed his lips together briefly, and the hopeful, desperate look in his eyes was all the convincing Jared needed. He saw Jensen's mouth start to shape the question, hesitant and shaky, and he answered before Jensen had to get the words out.

"Not kidding. Really, not kidding."

"Oh," said Jensen. "That's… real good."

And he grabbed the front of Jared's t-shirt, and jerked him in close for a kiss that was shocking in its carefulness. It was a slow, thoughtful kiss, and Jensen took his time about it with Jared's mouth, his lips chapped against Jared's. As he concentrated on his tongue sliding over Jared's, finding a hundred different ways to fit their mouths together and experimenting with more yet, Jensen's fist gradually went slack in the bunched up knot of Jared's t-shirt.

Jared opened his eyes, because he wanted to see the look on Jensen's face, and the sight made him grab Jensen closer, pushing his tongue into Jensen's mouth and taking control of the kiss back from Jensen. He gathered Jensen in as he pulled them both onto their sides onto the floor. Their mouths broke apart for just a second as they moved - Jensen having just enough time to draw in a shivering breath - before Jared ignored his shoulder landing uncomfortably on a stray ball, in favor of crushing his lips back down onto Jensen's and getting his tongue back in Jensen's mouth. Jensen let him go on with it, parting his lips eagerly for Jared, while his hand smoothed over Jared's spine where he'd hitched up the back of Jared's t-shirt.

The kissing degenerated into lazy making out, with Jared's knee nudged between Jensen's thighs and their hips rolling towards each other, the sensation of their cocks grinding together under too many clothes just on the right side of maddening. Jensen's fingertips spidered up and down Jared's spine, stroking the outline of Jared's shoulder blades and traveling into the carved out dip below, until Jared was writhing. He'd kissed Jensen's mouth wet and soft and was now moving on to the very long list of other places he could kiss Jensen, an even longer list once he got Jensen stripped. He flipped the buttons on Jensen's shirt, one by one, then ducked his head to bite the firm muscle on Jensen's chest. The noise Jensen made went straight to Jared's cock, shocked and dirty, and Jared determined to just put Jensen on his back and bite the fuck out of him, make him scream himself out until that was the only noise he was capable of making.

He started to roll Jensen again, but was interrupted by an ominous metallic rattle as someone's foot - his own? Jensen's? - toppled the beer can tower.

They both went very still, and then Jensen turned his face to peer back at it. He put his mouth back against Jared's, looked him in the eye, and said, "Shit." Jared snorted and exploded into laughter, which then sunk into the affectionate feathering of kisses over Jensen's cheeks and brow and jaw.

"Your bed or mine?" Jensen murmured.

"Yours," said Jared. "I think I left a load of dirty laundry on mine."

Jensen grinned. "That's romantic."

It struck Jared then just how different this was from being with a client. There was no performance, no second-guessing what was wanted and what would earn a tip, no reluctance. There were just a lot of things Jared really wanted to do to Jensen. And if Jared were honest, it was pretty different from every non-paying time too. Which made sense, really, because it was with Jensen.

He stumbled to his feet and offered Jensen his hand, to haul him upright. Jensen's shirt still hung open and Jared bet that, if the lights were on, he'd be able to see the bite mark on his chest. Tugging Jared in by the neck of his t-shirt, Jensen gave him another long, intense kiss, before pulling him along behind himself to the stairs.

It was very clumsy progress upstairs, because neither of them wanted to waste any time that could be used to make out. As it turned out, making out while stripping off clothes while ascending stairs was a difficult thing to choreograph without bouncing off the walls every few steps.

Just through the doorway of Jensen's bedroom, Jared had to pause. He gazed around the room, taking in the coat hanger on one the outside of the closet, with one of Jensen's shirts on it, silver-striped tie strung around the neck, and the guitar case in the corner, which hadn't been opened in so long there was dust gathering on it. It was suddenly new territory to him. This room that was about as familiar to him as his own took on a whole new aspect when it was the room in which he was going to have sex with Jensen for the first time.

Then he looked back at Jensen, whose pretty mouth was right there against his, his expression one of frustrated hope that Jared would get with the program and start kissing him again. "Is it just me," said Jared, "or is it fucking freezing in here?"

"I'm the one in nothing but my goddamn underwear," Jensen pointed out. "Yes, it's very cold." He rubbed Jared's upper arms briskly as he added, "S'what happens to houses that don't get lived in enough."

"Then we should spend the whole holiday warming the place up," Jared said. Jensen's hands were at Jared's belt buckle, fumbling the leather out of the loop, and Jared couldn't help but catch Jensen's face in his hands and kiss him until Jensen's hands went still. "'Til then, bed."

They scrambled under the covers, Jared almost toppling in as he stumbled while wriggling out of his jeans. He crawled in on top of Jensen and hiked the blankets up over their heads, tented over his shoulders like they were kids again and building a fort.

"Better," said Jensen.

Most of him was lost in the dark, but Jared could feel him, smooth and firm, under him. He knew the shape of Jensen's body: knew how Jensen's shoulder fitted under his own arm, the slight bowing of his legs, and could probably make a decent attempt at locating each and every one of Jensen's freckles.

In that second, he didn't think he'd ever wanted anyone as much as he wanted Jensen, or ever would.

"Roll over," he said quietly.

There was a moment's pause, Jensen just looking up at him, and then he moved, the blankets rustling as he twisted over onto his belly, his cheek pressed to the pillow. Jared curled his body around Jensen's, leaving no space between their naked skin, and kissed the delicate shell of his ear, his cock resting, wet and hard, on the small of Jensen's back. He trailed a hand along Jensen's arm, to where Jensen's was palm-down on the pillow, and, still nuzzling at Jensen's ear, Jared entwined their fingers.

"Still cold?" he muttered.

He felt Jensen's lips curve into a smile. "Getting better," said Jensen, and pushed back into him. Jared groaned as his dick nudged between the cheeks of Jensen's ass, and he buried his face against the nape of Jensen's neck.

"Are you gonna fuck me, Jared?" said Jensen, and Jared's cock twitched at just hearing Jensen speak the words so clear and serious.

Feeling overwhelmed by what was happening, Jared took a moment to catch his breath, occupying himself with the soft little patch of skin just behind Jensen's ear and the faint smell of Jensen's shampoo.

"Yeah," he said. "I think I am."

Settling on his knees, he kissed down Jensen's spine, lips brushing each vertebra. The covers gradually puddled around his hips as he went lower, and he paused to appreciate the graceful musculature of Jensen's shoulders and back in the relative light from the window.

Fumbling lube and a condom from his jeans pocket, Jared felt a brief pang of guilt to be using what had been intended for a client on Jensen. But at the first touch - Jared thoughtfully rubbing the pad of his thumb just where the cleft of Jensen's ass began - Jensen parted his thighs wider, spreading for Jared without hesitation.

While Jared fingered Jensen open and slick, he watched the play of muscle in Jensen's back and thighs, enjoyed the spectacle of Jensen fucking himself on Jared's hand. Jensen shifted and jerked fretfully with Jared's fingers inside him, his breath coming in soft, shivering pants that only made Jared's dick harder.

It seemed strange to Jared that, all the times he'd daydreamed about exactly this, Jensen naked and in bed and all worked up, he'd never considered actually doing it. Which was stupid because this Jensen, this guy he lived with who was beautiful and grouchy and sarcastic and really bad at communicating, managed to be even hotter than the disconnected Jensen-body Jared had fantasized about.

Feeling a sudden surge of affection, he ducked down and licked a stripe along the dip of Jensen's shoulder blade, laughing when it drew a harsh noise of surprise from Jensen.

"I'm gonna do that just whenever I like from now on," Jared told him.

"I generally wear a few more clothes than I'm wearing right now, might - oh - make it difficult," said Jensen.

"I'll take you somewhere private and strip you," Jared said decisively, working his fingers free and leaning in to admire the tight little pinkness of Jensen's asshole. He rubbed the pad of his thumb around it, dipped it in just to see the delicate skin stretch around him, his thumb so much smaller than his cock - and Jesus, he was going to be inside of Jensen, going to fuck him. "Least ten times a day," he mumbled, increasingly distracted.

Holding his breath, everything still and silent inside his head, Jared pressed his cock to Jensen's ass, rested it on the rim, the latex of the condom turning shiny as it dragged through the lube.

Jared had maybe had more sex in his life than most people had had showers, but he was amazed to realize that his hands were shaking as he leaned over Jensen, his chest brushing Jensen's back, and pushed inside. It wasn't a smooth thrust. The line of Jensen's shoulders went tense and the choked off noise he made would have been louder if he hadn't been hiding his face in the pillow. He was all heat inside and Jared groaned as the slick tightness of him around his dick, even as he tried to find the right angle to make it easy.

"Jensen?" he breathed. "m'I hurting you?"

Making another of those cut-off sounds, Jensen wriggled his legs wider apart and Jared sank in deeper, his breath catching. Jared heard the wet noise of Jensen swallowing, then Jensen said, "No," and he sounded dazed.

His hips curling up close to Jensen's ass and then away, Jared moved his dick inside of him, a slow drawn-out thrust. It made Jensen moan, made him arch back into the move, like he was trying to keep as much of Jared inside for as long as could. His hand twitched and splayed on the white pillow and Jared's eyes tracked to the movement. He pressed in, their bodies meeting hot and hard from chest to thigh, and tangled his fingers with Jensen's. It was sweat-damp and almost painful how tightly their fingers squeezed together, but neither of them wanted to let go.

And in that moment, they both found the rhythm, like it was just for them and they'd known it all along, and their bodies moved together in sweet synchronicity, Jared buried deep inside of Jensen and their hips rocking together to hold him there. His breath sticky in his throat and never quite enough, Jared mouthed the back of Jensen's neck, his jaw, almost feverish, until Jensen twisted just enough to catch Jared's lips with his own, and they dropped into a languid kiss that shifted shape and angle but never really ended, and which made Jared's head and heart pound.

With each slam of Jared's hips, punching the breath out of Jensen, the covers slid a little further off the side of the bed, before they finally pooled on the floor. The cold air swept over Jared's hot skin, and the odd sensation of it both heightened the surreal quality of what was happening and grounded him firmly in reality.

He finally broke the kiss because the overload of his senses was making it impossible for him to even summon up the coordination to kiss Jensen properly, until he was just mouthing desperately at Jensen's lips. He rubbed his cheek against Jensen's, because even his skin on Jensen's felt incredible, then latched onto the back of Jensen's neck, sucking the flesh sloppy and hot, while Jensen made broken little noises that were maybe supposed to be Jared's name.

It didn't feel like he could get any deeper inside of Jensen, but he kept trying, wanted just a little bit more every time he nudged Jensen's thighs wider apart and screwed down, unrelenting, into Jensen's fucked-open asshole. As Jared's whole body was starting to draw in tight, like his skin was too small for him, and he fucked like it was his chosen way to leave the world, Jensen squirmed under him, jerking his trapped cock against the sheets. Jared grinned manically and whispered encouraging filth against the back of his neck - calling him fucking beautiful and telling him how good he was being for Jared, how much Jared liked fucking his pretty little ass - the most loving dirty talk that he'd never managed for a client.

Jensen's spine snapped straight when he came, pushing his ass back onto Jared's cock at a whole different angle, an awesome angle, and Jared curled his arm around Jensen's belly, the muscles fluttering as his body pulsed, and pounded him hard. Scrabbling against the sheets, Jensen tried to prop himself up on his arm to help Jared but he didn't need to: Jared was holding him so close that, in some currently not completely functioning part of his brain, he wondered how the hell Jensen was managing to draw breath.

And then he was coming, so hard it felt as though his whole body was flying apart, splintering under the force of it, and all he could concentrate on doing was gripping Jensen's hand in his own.

He drifted back to himself gradually, registering the uneven counterpoint of his own shuddering breathing to Jensen's. His body came under control again, and he frowned when he felt Jensen's ribs crushed against his forearm. He loosened his hold and heard Jensen make a soft noise of relief. Under his mouth, the skin at the back of Jensen's neck was sloppy and dark, maybe bruised, and Jared really hoped Jensen wouldn't notice because he would get one hell of an ass-kicking for that.

They sagged onto the bed and it creaked under them. Even in the afterglow, the coldness was starting to become an issue, and Jared hooked the blanket back up off the floor and pulled it over them. He lay beside Jensen on the damp and soiled bed, both of them gathering their thoughts. Then he turned his head to face Jensen, and Jensen looked back at him.

Jared grinned. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," said Jensen. He paused, then wrinkled his nose and added, "This bed is disgusting."

"Mine has dirty laundry on it but is probably still less disgusting."

They looked at each other a moment longer, then bundled themselves up in the blanket and shuffled into Jared's room, into Jared's bed.

:::

At ten o'clock the next morning, they were still bundled up in blankets, but on the couch this time, watching a holiday special of some sit-com that neither of them had ever seen an episode of before. Jared had waffles and Jensen had coffee, and both of them were naked under the blanket, and Jared thought it the most beautiful morning in the history of all Creation.

"You're not going into the office today, are you?" he said, pushing a corner of waffle into Jensen's mouth.

"Mmm," said Jensen around his mouthful. He chewed, swallowed quickly, and said, "On vacation." He nodded at the blonde girl in pigtails on the TV screen. "I thought she was dating that other guy?"

"No," said Jared. "I'm pretty sure that other guy was her school principal. How exactly did you get 'boyfriend' from her conversation with him? And, following on from that, do I need to ask what the hell went on at your school?" He chewed contentedly on some waffle, then said, "I don't wanna be a hooker anymore."

Frowning at the TV, Jensen said, "Oh?" in a very careful tone of voice.

"I wanna go back to school and I wanna be an engineer and I want the only sex I ever have to be with you, or maybe with my hand if you're working late, but I'll be thinking about you."

Jensen nodded. "I think those are all very realistic and commendable life-goals." He nodded again, very serious, then turned to smile at Jared, his whole face lit up with happiness and so damn beautiful that Jared just wanted to kiss him again and again and again.

"So, if neither of us are working today," said Jared, sliding a hand under the blanket to creep between Jensen's legs, "then what should we do with all this free time?"

Jensen leaned in to kiss him. "We should probably start with rebuilding the beer can tree."

~end