+ Come on in, I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in.
facing suicide again. in the past week, three people I know have died... one was suicide. by gun. fuck.. god dammit. last night..
I have known too many people who have died. young people. drugs, car crashes, fast-spreading infections. I don't know. and I can't help but wonder why not me. how the hell am I still alive.. but that is a question I'm trying not to ask... as it's not one that can really be answered.
so tomorrow I have a job interview. I'm don't want anyone to act happy about that because I've acted way too slowly on doing so, and I should not be shown any kind of.. I don't know... "well done" remarks, and such. I face the task of getting up at 9ish. oh man, so hard. I looked at the moon tonight with Ivan. oh man, she's so beautiful. la luna.
I don't know what the point of this post was. but here it is. and here I rest.
I'm looking for my rock again.
I have known too many people who have died. young people. drugs, car crashes, fast-spreading infections. I don't know. and I can't help but wonder why not me. how the hell am I still alive.. but that is a question I'm trying not to ask... as it's not one that can really be answered.
so tomorrow I have a job interview. I'm don't want anyone to act happy about that because I've acted way too slowly on doing so, and I should not be shown any kind of.. I don't know... "well done" remarks, and such. I face the task of getting up at 9ish. oh man, so hard. I looked at the moon tonight with Ivan. oh man, she's so beautiful. la luna.
I don't know what the point of this post was. but here it is. and here I rest.
I'm looking for my rock again.