Week 8: Reprobate
Okay, I had to look this one up. Thank you, LJ Idol, for teaching me stuff. For those not in the competition who are reading this...
Reprobate: (n) a depraved, unprincipled, or wicked person; (adj) morally depraved, unprincipled, bad; (v) to disapprove, condemn, or censure.
Versatile little fucker, ain't it? With an undeniably religious connotation.
This time of year tends to bring out the vehement non-believer in me. Yes, I'm an atheist. Have been since high school. Therefore this whole Christmukkah business is, at its most basic level, not my thing. From right after Thanksgiving until New Year's, boiling just under the surface of my "I have to put on my happy retail face and sell Christmas ornaments" exterior is "holy fucking crap I hate the holiday season so much I want to vomit." And I must say that, after spending eleven years in retail, I probably hate it even more than when I started. People are so fucking cranky. And for a time that's supposed to be all about "togetherness" and "thankfulness" and that mushy bullshit, there's a fuckload of insincerity. People feel so obligated to do things for others this time of year, and... Shouldn't you want to do that instead of being forced? Isn't that the point? Otherwise the whole purpose (or what has become the purpose, since everything went all Hallmark) is lost. I just don't get it.
But aside from how I much I find myself wanting to kickbox a Christmas tree (nice image, eh?), I also think people tend to get more judgmental this time of year. I'm almost afraid to tell people I'm an atheist in December. I'm not ashamed by any means; I just get really tired of disapproving shakes of the head and being told it's a shame I'm going to hell or...whatever else the preachy throw at me.
At work, customers often discuss the gift-giving process with me. Asking me, "What would you like to get?" or, "If you were in my position, what would you get for my (insert family member I hate and don't want to buy for)?" I'm honest and I tell them that I don't give gifts, and rarely receive them (everyone in my life is aware that they give at their own risk; they're not getting anything in return). But I'm perfectly capable of pointing out things that are practical or would be well-received by whoever this terrible person is. And even in doing that, I get an awful lot of strange looks. Some of them bordering on...sad. Like they feel bad for me or something. I'm aware that people sometimes think I look young, but... I'm an adult. This is a decision I've made for myself. And really...if you're going to feel bad, feel bad for all the materialistic motherfuckers who are genuinely offended by the fact I won't give them a gift. That's far more pathetic than my not feeling obligated to waste my time/money/effort on people who won't appreciate it.
Given that reaction to a pretty vague statement, admitting that I'm without religion would likely yield disastrous results. I've heard it all by now, really. But the...fervor this time of year, coupled with the generally negative dispositions held by a good number of people while they try to figure out what to buy Aunt Sally's jackass third husband, or whether they should bother inviting Cousin John with the crack addiction because he might try to steal money from their sock drawer, but gee golly would grandma be upset if he wasn't there... I wouldn't be surprised if I suddenly found myself doused with holy water. Because I'm evil, y'know. But I'll take being called evil over having to deal with all the guilt and the obligation and the pressure of being a "good Christian" any day.
Oh, and by the way... I'm a 26-year-old virgin. I don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs. I've never been arrested. I've never resorted to physical violence. I do not worship the devil. I'm honest, generally nice, and only occasionally try to lure good religious folks to the dark side. Who's your moral compass now, bitch?
Reprobate: (n) a depraved, unprincipled, or wicked person; (adj) morally depraved, unprincipled, bad; (v) to disapprove, condemn, or censure.
Versatile little fucker, ain't it? With an undeniably religious connotation.
This time of year tends to bring out the vehement non-believer in me. Yes, I'm an atheist. Have been since high school. Therefore this whole Christmukkah business is, at its most basic level, not my thing. From right after Thanksgiving until New Year's, boiling just under the surface of my "I have to put on my happy retail face and sell Christmas ornaments" exterior is "holy fucking crap I hate the holiday season so much I want to vomit." And I must say that, after spending eleven years in retail, I probably hate it even more than when I started. People are so fucking cranky. And for a time that's supposed to be all about "togetherness" and "thankfulness" and that mushy bullshit, there's a fuckload of insincerity. People feel so obligated to do things for others this time of year, and... Shouldn't you want to do that instead of being forced? Isn't that the point? Otherwise the whole purpose (or what has become the purpose, since everything went all Hallmark) is lost. I just don't get it.
But aside from how I much I find myself wanting to kickbox a Christmas tree (nice image, eh?), I also think people tend to get more judgmental this time of year. I'm almost afraid to tell people I'm an atheist in December. I'm not ashamed by any means; I just get really tired of disapproving shakes of the head and being told it's a shame I'm going to hell or...whatever else the preachy throw at me.
At work, customers often discuss the gift-giving process with me. Asking me, "What would you like to get?" or, "If you were in my position, what would you get for my (insert family member I hate and don't want to buy for)?" I'm honest and I tell them that I don't give gifts, and rarely receive them (everyone in my life is aware that they give at their own risk; they're not getting anything in return). But I'm perfectly capable of pointing out things that are practical or would be well-received by whoever this terrible person is. And even in doing that, I get an awful lot of strange looks. Some of them bordering on...sad. Like they feel bad for me or something. I'm aware that people sometimes think I look young, but... I'm an adult. This is a decision I've made for myself. And really...if you're going to feel bad, feel bad for all the materialistic motherfuckers who are genuinely offended by the fact I won't give them a gift. That's far more pathetic than my not feeling obligated to waste my time/money/effort on people who won't appreciate it.
Given that reaction to a pretty vague statement, admitting that I'm without religion would likely yield disastrous results. I've heard it all by now, really. But the...fervor this time of year, coupled with the generally negative dispositions held by a good number of people while they try to figure out what to buy Aunt Sally's jackass third husband, or whether they should bother inviting Cousin John with the crack addiction because he might try to steal money from their sock drawer, but gee golly would grandma be upset if he wasn't there... I wouldn't be surprised if I suddenly found myself doused with holy water. Because I'm evil, y'know. But I'll take being called evil over having to deal with all the guilt and the obligation and the pressure of being a "good Christian" any day.
Oh, and by the way... I'm a 26-year-old virgin. I don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs. I've never been arrested. I've never resorted to physical violence. I do not worship the devil. I'm honest, generally nice, and only occasionally try to lure good religious folks to the dark side. Who's your moral compass now, bitch?