Resonate
I turn to you when I want someone to listen, but I don't want anyone to hear. When I wish... when I wish I could speak to one of the many people whom I love or have loved, yet I feel like I can't. It's sad how the last two posts were things I'd forgotten I'd even written. Yet when I look at them, it comes back. How lost I was. How lost I still am.
And the third last post I wrote.
Oh, how I used to dream and still do. Why am I always dreaming, never waking?
Would it be so strange if I ran away? I feel as if I can get nothing more from this place, from these people... from myself. The words I say, the people I try to save, the difference I try to make... it's all nothing, just nothing. What if I had a different face? A different voice? Would it be a different life? Would I have friends? Love? Would I be happy?
What do I need?
What do I need to be happy? Do I need to be superhero? Or do I just need someone to love me? Or do I need to "look good naked"... "be comfortable in my own skin"... love myself?
Death. Life. Rebirth. Loss. Being lost. Absolution.
Happiness?
Safety?
I want to scream. Let it echo.
I want to scream, and I want someone to listen but not hear.
And the third last post I wrote.
Oh, how I used to dream and still do. Why am I always dreaming, never waking?
Would it be so strange if I ran away? I feel as if I can get nothing more from this place, from these people... from myself. The words I say, the people I try to save, the difference I try to make... it's all nothing, just nothing. What if I had a different face? A different voice? Would it be a different life? Would I have friends? Love? Would I be happy?
What do I need?
What do I need to be happy? Do I need to be superhero? Or do I just need someone to love me? Or do I need to "look good naked"... "be comfortable in my own skin"... love myself?
Death. Life. Rebirth. Loss. Being lost. Absolution.
Happiness?
Safety?
I want to scream. Let it echo.
I want to scream, and I want someone to listen but not hear.