leave it alone
4/14/07
I exist. But how much longer will I, can I go? How much longer can I let these things that I feel go to waste? How much longer until you realize I really love you. Only when its too late.
3/27/07
So tonight I dropped you off at the Spokane airport. Its 10:29 at night so you’re probably in Seattle waiting for your next flight, or on your way to Texas. I gave you a quick hug and kiss on the head before you left through security and I walked out the door. For the next minute as I walked to the truck I kept thinking in my head man she’s going to be sitting there for the next forty five minutes; I want to stay. Tortured, I didn’t look back. Things raced in my mind as to why I didn’t tell her I loved her before I left. Because I do! Damn it! Why didn’t I? I hopped back up into that big blue dodge pick-up and prayed a quick prayer for you. Before I finished I said a little one for myself. I realized at that moment, I could really be in-love with this girl. The whole drive back to town the sun began to set and every square inch of what was in front of me had an amber glow from the sun behind me. Just the look of it kept me warm. The soft drone of tropical country music made me want to go right back into that airport and buy a ticket. That moment I called your voicemail instead left you a message so I could remember that moment, even knowing you wouldn’t be checking it for the next 12 days. There was no way I wanted to forget it; and I obviously didn’t and probably never will. With no one else had I ever felt this longing. No woman has ever made me feel like the next 12 days is going to feel like a year, and to be honest I sort of like this feeling. It’s something inside me saying that no matter how hard I try to pull myself together and let you out of my mind at this moment, you’ll always be there. I tried for the rest of the night to pull it back together. I went and got myself some fish tacos and headed on over to hang-out with Camille. I found myself accidentally calling her ‘you’ twice before the night was over. And reminiscing over things you and I have done. I could tell it was getting a little annoying. I headed back over to my place and here I wound up writing this to you thinking about how for everyday you’re in Kenya I want to write something for you. So this is the beginning. Day one. Meaning this one should be read on your flight over there. AND when you get back I plan on writing for everyday you’re there so when you come back home you don’t; miss out on a thing. I love you so much Megan. God, I love you so much. I keep walking around my apartment and getting this whiff of your perfume even though you haven’t been over here for days.
3/27/07
10:58pm
I exist. But how much longer will I, can I go? How much longer can I let these things that I feel go to waste? How much longer until you realize I really love you. Only when its too late.
3/27/07
So tonight I dropped you off at the Spokane airport. Its 10:29 at night so you’re probably in Seattle waiting for your next flight, or on your way to Texas. I gave you a quick hug and kiss on the head before you left through security and I walked out the door. For the next minute as I walked to the truck I kept thinking in my head man she’s going to be sitting there for the next forty five minutes; I want to stay. Tortured, I didn’t look back. Things raced in my mind as to why I didn’t tell her I loved her before I left. Because I do! Damn it! Why didn’t I? I hopped back up into that big blue dodge pick-up and prayed a quick prayer for you. Before I finished I said a little one for myself. I realized at that moment, I could really be in-love with this girl. The whole drive back to town the sun began to set and every square inch of what was in front of me had an amber glow from the sun behind me. Just the look of it kept me warm. The soft drone of tropical country music made me want to go right back into that airport and buy a ticket. That moment I called your voicemail instead left you a message so I could remember that moment, even knowing you wouldn’t be checking it for the next 12 days. There was no way I wanted to forget it; and I obviously didn’t and probably never will. With no one else had I ever felt this longing. No woman has ever made me feel like the next 12 days is going to feel like a year, and to be honest I sort of like this feeling. It’s something inside me saying that no matter how hard I try to pull myself together and let you out of my mind at this moment, you’ll always be there. I tried for the rest of the night to pull it back together. I went and got myself some fish tacos and headed on over to hang-out with Camille. I found myself accidentally calling her ‘you’ twice before the night was over. And reminiscing over things you and I have done. I could tell it was getting a little annoying. I headed back over to my place and here I wound up writing this to you thinking about how for everyday you’re in Kenya I want to write something for you. So this is the beginning. Day one. Meaning this one should be read on your flight over there. AND when you get back I plan on writing for everyday you’re there so when you come back home you don’t; miss out on a thing. I love you so much Megan. God, I love you so much. I keep walking around my apartment and getting this whiff of your perfume even though you haven’t been over here for days.
3/27/07
10:58pm