*sighs*
So I'm pretty down today. It seems like all my good days are followed by bad ones. I haven't talked to my dad in a while, but I'm pretty pissed with him. He's been stressing my G pretty badly and though she's his mom before mine, I'm the one taking care of her. That woman means more to me than words could ever say. I'd be a poor excuse for a person had it not been for her. It's finally storming which makes me happy. I miss mom, a fucking huge hell of a lot. Apparently she's doing well on her tests and all, I have faith in her, and as she asked me to do, I am praying for her. I miss Dave even though I still see him every now and then, but seeing him is not how I miss him. How do you ever get over someone you left with your heart? You don't, you can't, and I won't. That and also because I'm stubborn and I've never fought so hard for anyone in my life. People flit in and out of my life all the time, and it's very rare that I fight to keep them in it, but I've been fighting my head, my family, and him. I can not live without my "Edward". He's the reason I live, the reason I sometimes die, the reason I eat and sleep and wake up every day with just enough strength to keep my going. Scratch some parts in the previous entry cause I tend to say negative hurtful things, that I usually don't mean, a lot more than one person should. In that aspect, I'm kind of like a boy. I speak before I think, and that usually comes back to bite me in the ass more often than not, it's also terrible when joined with my awful Italian/Irish temper. Damn my parents for mixing the two. No one will ever love you like I do, and I'm not being smug or conceited, just truthful because I know where those words come from. I'm not your mother, I'm not your sister, I don't have to love you, but I choose to, and I do. I love you with everything that I have. There may be a whole slew of people who don't want to see us together, and who don't like me when I'm with you, but that's just tough shit cause I don't change for anyone but me, so fuck you. If I'm glad for anything though, I am glad that I got the chance to fall in love, and be loved back and experience the pure bliss of being so comfortable with someone, and if I were to die today or tomorrow or even in 70 years, I would die happy knowing I had the chance to love another with all my heart and soul, and that is enough for me. I guess in ways, things are ok because as much as I want it, I know I'm not ready for marriage and a family of my own. I have no time, and no patience. On a different note, I made some damn good chicken noodle soup even though it took some time, it was definitely worth it, mmmmmm. I guess I'll go watch a movie now and wait for two of my best friends to get here.