(no subject)
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don't recognize the person staring back at me. I want so badly to change. I keep trying to apologize to Kirsten, as if that can somehow make up for what I've done. But no matter how sorry I am, no matter how much I wish I wasn't so horrible, it can't make something that happened un-happen. Time only moves forward, not backward. Things happen, things die, love fades, we all just have to deal with it and move on. It's just so hard to be in so much pain and know that it is all my fault. For once in my life I am putting all the blame on me. I should be in the Guinness book of world records for most mistakes made. Listen to me, all pathetic and mopey. It's ridiculous, how about a change of subject? How are you supposed to tell your extremely religious, "I think homosexuality is a sin", absolutely wonderful best friend that you are bisexual? I really do need to tell Katelin, but I'm so nervous. I just keep putting it off, you know waiting for the right moment. The thing is there will never be a "right moment". I have to tell her though. It's half of who I am! Actually it's more than half, I am way more gay than straight. i am just so afraid of losing our wonderful relationship. I know she'll still be my friend, but I don't know if she'll be comfortable around me anymore. And I sure as hell don't want her to preach to me. What should I do??