.Fourteen
Karasu. Sakon. Congrats on the interview.
More than anyone, the both of you deserve it.
Suzuki... can I talk to you later?
[Private]
Four months. That's all that's left. As far as I know, he doesn't suspect a thing, my roommate... my boyfriend. It's better that way. He can enjoy things as they are now without the pressure of knowing they're about to end. He can be happy... or as happy as he ever gets anyways.
But this tour... it just proves I'm doing the right thing. He doesn't need me around anymore. I'll just stand in the way of his dream of making it big, and really, when it comes down to it, he... is standing in the way of my wanting a family of my own some day.
We'd be better off on our own, or with other people. He needs somebody who can feed his muse, support his music. And here I am, not giving a damn one way or the other about whether he can perform well on stage! Like that fucking matters to me. I've never really had a head for that sort of shit, and I don't like faking my interest. I tried to be involved, but I just can't keep it up, it's... not my thing. I wonder if he can see that. I wouldn't doubt it. I know he's smart, he can tell that if he decided up and out of the blue to quit the music industry I'd be happy.
One thing is for sure... if he ever did that, he'd not have fucking rabid fans drooling over him. The thought of that just disgusts me. That he'd want that, that disgusts me as well. But... I'm pinning blame to him when it's not his fault. He's not doing it for them, he's doing it because music is what he loves, and there's nothing wrong with that.
It just... seems like he loves it more. Than me.
Che. I'm used to being second best though. Whatever. Four more months. It won't be that long. I'll let him have some fond memories, and then I'll just... disappear.
[/Private]
More than anyone, the both of you deserve it.
Suzuki... can I talk to you later?
[Private]
Four months. That's all that's left. As far as I know, he doesn't suspect a thing, my roommate... my boyfriend. It's better that way. He can enjoy things as they are now without the pressure of knowing they're about to end. He can be happy... or as happy as he ever gets anyways.
But this tour... it just proves I'm doing the right thing. He doesn't need me around anymore. I'll just stand in the way of his dream of making it big, and really, when it comes down to it, he... is standing in the way of my wanting a family of my own some day.
We'd be better off on our own, or with other people. He needs somebody who can feed his muse, support his music. And here I am, not giving a damn one way or the other about whether he can perform well on stage! Like that fucking matters to me. I've never really had a head for that sort of shit, and I don't like faking my interest. I tried to be involved, but I just can't keep it up, it's... not my thing. I wonder if he can see that. I wouldn't doubt it. I know he's smart, he can tell that if he decided up and out of the blue to quit the music industry I'd be happy.
One thing is for sure... if he ever did that, he'd not have fucking rabid fans drooling over him. The thought of that just disgusts me. That he'd want that, that disgusts me as well. But... I'm pinning blame to him when it's not his fault. He's not doing it for them, he's doing it because music is what he loves, and there's nothing wrong with that.
It just... seems like he loves it more. Than me.
Che. I'm used to being second best though. Whatever. Four more months. It won't be that long. I'll let him have some fond memories, and then I'll just... disappear.
[/Private]