they're watching me.... waiting to see if I'll fail
this is a conversation I had with my mother.... I forget how to do the stupid ljcut things so you're gonna have to deal with the waste of space on your friends page....
Hydraenga: wow u made it to the comp. lab fast....
brand name dev: lol it's right downstairs from my el clase
Hydraenga: ahhhhh, i see
brand name dev: I would do work but I'll be more awake when geology is over and I have 4 friggen hours of free time
Hydraenga: oh, so u hanging out there to get some actual work done??....lol....
brand name dev: yeah.... it's a waste of gas to go home... I mean somedays.... I just CAN'T stay here.... but today I think I will
Hydraenga: cool
brand name dev: what are you up to?
Hydraenga: not much....lol
brand name dev: but there is just so much to do in rindge!
Hydraenga: actually, u could probably find plenty to do with yourself if u had a vehicle.........ROFL
brand name dev: you know Steve would somehow manage to buy you a car if you got your license... hell I'd pitch in for that cause
Hydraenga: ROFL.........ur funny...........ya, and then i would have to get a job LONG term not short term........no thank you very much
brand name dev: no you wouldn't.... we wouldn't get you like a fancy new car but like.... something I'M looking for... cheap but still will last long.... you don't need a long term job for that... besides I think you'd make a great front end manager
brand name dev: ;-)
Hydraenga: HA.........i don't think so
Hydraenga: u need money to keep car on the road.........we can't afford your college bill, never mind a car and insurance bill too.........u have to look at the whole picture
brand name dev: but if you hadda car mum... you could work more... and if your worked 20 hours a week..... you could help pay off my college bill AND your car.... I mean I go to school and work and i still manage the insurance and I DID pay that $400 for my car
brand name dev: mum you could so do it
Hydraenga: you missed the poing totally!!!.........I DON"T WANT TO WORK
brand name dev: no one does.... get over it lol.... if you want a house and a sane husband... you're going to have to work.... otherwise... he's going to jump off a building because my college tuition will drive him to bankruptcy
Hydraenga: rofl
brand name dev: yeah it's an exaggeration but still
Hydraenga: thats what i mean........working short term will help get rid of the college bill.........with a car it would turn into long term.......
brand name dev: okay I tried about 6 different responses to that and only one fits.....
brand name dev: whatever
Hydraenga: I LOVE THESE BOOTS!!!!
eBay: COACH Boots Black Leather size 5 B (item 7712199367 end time Sep-16-05 1
Hydraenga: ROFLMAO
brand name dev: wish I could just chill at home and not have to worry about getting a $35,000 per year paying job in order to pay off my stafford loan!!!!
brand name dev: those are pretty cute.
brand name dev: YOU BID ON THEM!!!
Hydraenga: LOL.........yep life sucks......but, i've already been there done that
brand name dev: no you haven't!
Hydraenga: wow, i love these cute days
Hydraenga: yes, i have
Hydraenga: no loan, but all the rest
brand name dev: yeah uhhh that's a pretty friggen big difference!! that loan is going to run me into the damn ground
brand name dev: and they don't have welfare for people without kids
Hydraenga: okay if u say so.......its all in how u look at things.....ur still gonna get a job no matter if there is a loan or not
brand name dev: well I have to and I realize I have to work but if I don't get a REAL job I'll be busting my ass 40 hours a friggen week at the MB and that is not happening to me pal
Hydraenga: ROFL...........
brand name dev: shut the hell up woman.... I may not hate that place as much as tim does but screw that if I'm gonna watch myself become a patty cox, or an art snow or even a mark valliere (since he'll be working there the rest of his life too)
brand name dev: f that
Hydraenga: lol
brand name dev: why do you get me so hyped up? you always bring out this part of me that starts worrying about everything. stop it!
Hydraenga: I didn't do a damn thing...............u do it to yourself
Hydraenga: u dont need any help
brand name dev: lolol
brand name dev: *takes a deep breath*
brand name dev: it cracks me up how you guys tell me that I shouldn't work so much and ask me if I'm sure I can handle it and say that my school work can't slip but then you turn around and tell me that I have to save this much money to fix my car and that I should start thinking about a new one and you wonder why I work so much?
brand name dev: I friggen have to. My insurance isn't going to pay for itself, fixing my car isn't, getting a new one isn't and gas sure as hell isn't and then on top of that I need to work on supporting myself when I'm not at home and or if I am at home and I want a particular thing that you won't buy, I need to buy that myself.
Hydraenga: wow..........ur just screwed...........lol
brand name dev: no I'm not because I know i can do it.... but you guys seem to think I can't but make it sound like I had another option.... like a big shitload of money was going to come to me and give me a big hug and tell me I'll be okay
Hydraenga: lol....no one ever said u couldn't do it.........u just assume everything
brand name dev: what am I supposed to assume when you people say things like "that's an awful lot of hours you got. think you can handle that?"
Hydraenga: for the moment.........it was JUST a question
brand name dev: yeah for the moment..... that's what I'm saying.... it's like you're sitting there watching just waiting for me to slip up..... as if there was some other way I could get by and there isn't.... I have no option... I won't quit school but I can't stop working.... it has to work because there isn't another way so why do you sit there watching my every move like I had some other choice because I don't
brand name dev: I have to make this work and I will. End of story.
Hydraenga: lol...........u crack me up...........your so dramatic.........no one is waiting for u to screw up(except maybe you)...get over it and move on...and i'm done having this conversation with u......
Hydraenga: brb..........i gonna go have a butt
brand name dev: enjoy yourself
Hydraenga: I will.........thank you
okay she's right in the sense that I do (as most girls do) get over dramatic. But over the summer my mum comes to me and says "If you want to pay off your Stafford Loan, after you get out of college, you have to get a job that pays $35,000 per year." That isn't even a lot of money but I don't even know what I want to do with my life nevermind be able to find a job that will pay me that much so yeah that might make me a little stressed and a little dramatic.
Then there's the part where she says that I'm waiting for myself to fail... but I'm not the one asking myself if I can do this.... I already know that I can.... my parents are the ones asking me "Gee Dev 27 hours is a lot... you sure you can handle that?" and things like "You better not be slacking because it isn't free anymore."
Excuse me but they aren't the only ones who will be paying. I mean how would it make you feel knowing that when you got out of school BAM you're about 12 thousand dollars in the hole.
I have no fucking choice but to handle this. You think I fucking like having 2 days off every week and the only reason I have those two days off is because I don't get home until 7!! You best believe if I could be at work for 6 those two days I'd be working them.
Maybe I'm overreacting about all this crap but why do they say things like "Are you sure you can do this" and then turn around with "you haven't been putting any of your check into savingsyour car will barely last another year get ready to buy another oneyour car won't last another 2 months if you don't pay this to fix ityou need to save money for this and don't forget thatand oh just a reminder you'll be 10 Gs in the hole in four years.... but can you handle twenty seven hours of work every week?"
URGH! I realize this is life. Life sucks and all that and you have to deal. This is going to be very rough and I know I can do it. I know that I won't wimp out and that I'll stay srong. I don't need to ask myself if I can do it.... so why do they?
Don't even think about commenting and saying "they're just looking out for you" because if they were looking out for me they would encourage me..... tell me what I've been telling myself "It'll be hard and it will suck but it's what I have to do and I can do it"
Maybe this all just goes back to the whole "my mum is a bitter bitch who can't show an ounce of emotion but at the same time she's my best friend" thing.
Jesus.... I'm in the KSC computer lab and my eyes are starting to tear up. Friggen awesome.
I don't think she has ever encouraged me on anything.
All I need right now is for someone to tell me that I'm not crazy... that they are being pretty negative to me and that what they've been telling me isn't encouragement at all.
If you disagree then tell me. Someone tell me what the hell is going on. I don't care if you say "You're being a spoiled princess." Just someone else tell me hoe they see it.
I don't even know what I'm seeing.
Hydraenga: wow u made it to the comp. lab fast....
brand name dev: lol it's right downstairs from my el clase
Hydraenga: ahhhhh, i see
brand name dev: I would do work but I'll be more awake when geology is over and I have 4 friggen hours of free time
Hydraenga: oh, so u hanging out there to get some actual work done??....lol....
brand name dev: yeah.... it's a waste of gas to go home... I mean somedays.... I just CAN'T stay here.... but today I think I will
Hydraenga: cool
brand name dev: what are you up to?
Hydraenga: not much....lol
brand name dev: but there is just so much to do in rindge!
Hydraenga: actually, u could probably find plenty to do with yourself if u had a vehicle.........ROFL
brand name dev: you know Steve would somehow manage to buy you a car if you got your license... hell I'd pitch in for that cause
Hydraenga: ROFL.........ur funny...........ya, and then i would have to get a job LONG term not short term........no thank you very much
brand name dev: no you wouldn't.... we wouldn't get you like a fancy new car but like.... something I'M looking for... cheap but still will last long.... you don't need a long term job for that... besides I think you'd make a great front end manager
brand name dev: ;-)
Hydraenga: HA.........i don't think so
Hydraenga: u need money to keep car on the road.........we can't afford your college bill, never mind a car and insurance bill too.........u have to look at the whole picture
brand name dev: but if you hadda car mum... you could work more... and if your worked 20 hours a week..... you could help pay off my college bill AND your car.... I mean I go to school and work and i still manage the insurance and I DID pay that $400 for my car
brand name dev: mum you could so do it
Hydraenga: you missed the poing totally!!!.........I DON"T WANT TO WORK
brand name dev: no one does.... get over it lol.... if you want a house and a sane husband... you're going to have to work.... otherwise... he's going to jump off a building because my college tuition will drive him to bankruptcy
Hydraenga: rofl
brand name dev: yeah it's an exaggeration but still
Hydraenga: thats what i mean........working short term will help get rid of the college bill.........with a car it would turn into long term.......
brand name dev: okay I tried about 6 different responses to that and only one fits.....
brand name dev: whatever
Hydraenga: I LOVE THESE BOOTS!!!!
eBay: COACH Boots Black Leather size 5 B (item 7712199367 end time Sep-16-05 1
Hydraenga: ROFLMAO
brand name dev: wish I could just chill at home and not have to worry about getting a $35,000 per year paying job in order to pay off my stafford loan!!!!
brand name dev: those are pretty cute.
brand name dev: YOU BID ON THEM!!!
Hydraenga: LOL.........yep life sucks......but, i've already been there done that
brand name dev: no you haven't!
Hydraenga: wow, i love these cute days
Hydraenga: yes, i have
Hydraenga: no loan, but all the rest
brand name dev: yeah uhhh that's a pretty friggen big difference!! that loan is going to run me into the damn ground
brand name dev: and they don't have welfare for people without kids
Hydraenga: okay if u say so.......its all in how u look at things.....ur still gonna get a job no matter if there is a loan or not
brand name dev: well I have to and I realize I have to work but if I don't get a REAL job I'll be busting my ass 40 hours a friggen week at the MB and that is not happening to me pal
Hydraenga: ROFL...........
brand name dev: shut the hell up woman.... I may not hate that place as much as tim does but screw that if I'm gonna watch myself become a patty cox, or an art snow or even a mark valliere (since he'll be working there the rest of his life too)
brand name dev: f that
Hydraenga: lol
brand name dev: why do you get me so hyped up? you always bring out this part of me that starts worrying about everything. stop it!
Hydraenga: I didn't do a damn thing...............u do it to yourself
Hydraenga: u dont need any help
brand name dev: lolol
brand name dev: *takes a deep breath*
brand name dev: it cracks me up how you guys tell me that I shouldn't work so much and ask me if I'm sure I can handle it and say that my school work can't slip but then you turn around and tell me that I have to save this much money to fix my car and that I should start thinking about a new one and you wonder why I work so much?
brand name dev: I friggen have to. My insurance isn't going to pay for itself, fixing my car isn't, getting a new one isn't and gas sure as hell isn't and then on top of that I need to work on supporting myself when I'm not at home and or if I am at home and I want a particular thing that you won't buy, I need to buy that myself.
Hydraenga: wow..........ur just screwed...........lol
brand name dev: no I'm not because I know i can do it.... but you guys seem to think I can't but make it sound like I had another option.... like a big shitload of money was going to come to me and give me a big hug and tell me I'll be okay
Hydraenga: lol....no one ever said u couldn't do it.........u just assume everything
brand name dev: what am I supposed to assume when you people say things like "that's an awful lot of hours you got. think you can handle that?"
Hydraenga: for the moment.........it was JUST a question
brand name dev: yeah for the moment..... that's what I'm saying.... it's like you're sitting there watching just waiting for me to slip up..... as if there was some other way I could get by and there isn't.... I have no option... I won't quit school but I can't stop working.... it has to work because there isn't another way so why do you sit there watching my every move like I had some other choice because I don't
brand name dev: I have to make this work and I will. End of story.
Hydraenga: lol...........u crack me up...........your so dramatic.........no one is waiting for u to screw up(except maybe you)...get over it and move on...and i'm done having this conversation with u......
Hydraenga: brb..........i gonna go have a butt
brand name dev: enjoy yourself
Hydraenga: I will.........thank you
okay she's right in the sense that I do (as most girls do) get over dramatic. But over the summer my mum comes to me and says "If you want to pay off your Stafford Loan, after you get out of college, you have to get a job that pays $35,000 per year." That isn't even a lot of money but I don't even know what I want to do with my life nevermind be able to find a job that will pay me that much so yeah that might make me a little stressed and a little dramatic.
Then there's the part where she says that I'm waiting for myself to fail... but I'm not the one asking myself if I can do this.... I already know that I can.... my parents are the ones asking me "Gee Dev 27 hours is a lot... you sure you can handle that?" and things like "You better not be slacking because it isn't free anymore."
Excuse me but they aren't the only ones who will be paying. I mean how would it make you feel knowing that when you got out of school BAM you're about 12 thousand dollars in the hole.
I have no fucking choice but to handle this. You think I fucking like having 2 days off every week and the only reason I have those two days off is because I don't get home until 7!! You best believe if I could be at work for 6 those two days I'd be working them.
Maybe I'm overreacting about all this crap but why do they say things like "Are you sure you can do this" and then turn around with "you haven't been putting any of your check into savingsyour car will barely last another year get ready to buy another oneyour car won't last another 2 months if you don't pay this to fix ityou need to save money for this and don't forget thatand oh just a reminder you'll be 10 Gs in the hole in four years.... but can you handle twenty seven hours of work every week?"
URGH! I realize this is life. Life sucks and all that and you have to deal. This is going to be very rough and I know I can do it. I know that I won't wimp out and that I'll stay srong. I don't need to ask myself if I can do it.... so why do they?
Don't even think about commenting and saying "they're just looking out for you" because if they were looking out for me they would encourage me..... tell me what I've been telling myself "It'll be hard and it will suck but it's what I have to do and I can do it"
Maybe this all just goes back to the whole "my mum is a bitter bitch who can't show an ounce of emotion but at the same time she's my best friend" thing.
Jesus.... I'm in the KSC computer lab and my eyes are starting to tear up. Friggen awesome.
I don't think she has ever encouraged me on anything.
All I need right now is for someone to tell me that I'm not crazy... that they are being pretty negative to me and that what they've been telling me isn't encouragement at all.
If you disagree then tell me. Someone tell me what the hell is going on. I don't care if you say "You're being a spoiled princess." Just someone else tell me hoe they see it.
I don't even know what I'm seeing.