So i guess this is goodbye
Jesus christ.
I had no idea i was capable of crying as much as i have been. My eyes are screaming..literally. They burn like a mother, not to mention they are a tad bit swollen and are blood shot oh what a lovely sight i must be.
I have come to the realization that i'm not even angry anymore just really fucking hurt and really fucking sad. I'm sad because "I" never wanted this, shit i didnt want it to end like this..not to mention for it to end at all. I'm hurt because you made it seem as if this was all my fault and i asked for it. I know you apologized but it still hurts. I'm not saying all this to make you feel bad or even to try to get you to fix everything because somethings just cant be fixed.
I'm going to use the good ole cliche "it was nice while it lasted" because it was. I told you i will never regret being with you or all the nice times we shared. Maybe if i didnt have all those nice memories it wouldnt hurt so much ya know. I rather be hurting and remembering the good times then to not have had those good times at all.
As nice as the thought is for us to get back together I honestly dont think it would be the same between us. It's always going to be "he did this" "she did this" in the back of our minds. As much as i still want to be with you , i rather just end our relationship having known that the majority of our relationship was good and that we really did care for one another then to get back together and end up having the relationship go from how it was to a bunch of hard feelings towards each other and end up hating each other in the end.
I know i sound like i'm contradicting myself because i want to get back together but i dont want to get back together. As cheesy and romance novelish this sounds..my head is telling me one thing but my heart is telling me another. I feel like i'm fucked if i do and i'm fucked if i don't..and this isn't even a fuck that i'd enjoy.
One more thing i want you to remember. You are a great guy and were one hell of a boyfriend. I dont want you to think I hate you because i don't. It's the opposite I love you. I love you with everything i have/had. I love you as much as i am capable of loving another human being. I will always love you..maybe in the future not in a romantic way but i will love you for who you are and how happy you made me. I know this is an odd way to end a relationship but i want to say thanks. You made me extremely happy at times and you changed my way of thinking about certain things. You helped me a lot and i really appreciate that. You opened my eyes and told me things i needed to hear but never really wanted to hear. So thanks for everything. I love you and i always will.
Love,
Ang
I had no idea i was capable of crying as much as i have been. My eyes are screaming..literally. They burn like a mother, not to mention they are a tad bit swollen and are blood shot oh what a lovely sight i must be.
I have come to the realization that i'm not even angry anymore just really fucking hurt and really fucking sad. I'm sad because "I" never wanted this, shit i didnt want it to end like this..not to mention for it to end at all. I'm hurt because you made it seem as if this was all my fault and i asked for it. I know you apologized but it still hurts. I'm not saying all this to make you feel bad or even to try to get you to fix everything because somethings just cant be fixed.
I'm going to use the good ole cliche "it was nice while it lasted" because it was. I told you i will never regret being with you or all the nice times we shared. Maybe if i didnt have all those nice memories it wouldnt hurt so much ya know. I rather be hurting and remembering the good times then to not have had those good times at all.
As nice as the thought is for us to get back together I honestly dont think it would be the same between us. It's always going to be "he did this" "she did this" in the back of our minds. As much as i still want to be with you , i rather just end our relationship having known that the majority of our relationship was good and that we really did care for one another then to get back together and end up having the relationship go from how it was to a bunch of hard feelings towards each other and end up hating each other in the end.
I know i sound like i'm contradicting myself because i want to get back together but i dont want to get back together. As cheesy and romance novelish this sounds..my head is telling me one thing but my heart is telling me another. I feel like i'm fucked if i do and i'm fucked if i don't..and this isn't even a fuck that i'd enjoy.
One more thing i want you to remember. You are a great guy and were one hell of a boyfriend. I dont want you to think I hate you because i don't. It's the opposite I love you. I love you with everything i have/had. I love you as much as i am capable of loving another human being. I will always love you..maybe in the future not in a romantic way but i will love you for who you are and how happy you made me. I know this is an odd way to end a relationship but i want to say thanks. You made me extremely happy at times and you changed my way of thinking about certain things. You helped me a lot and i really appreciate that. You opened my eyes and told me things i needed to hear but never really wanted to hear. So thanks for everything. I love you and i always will.
Love,
Ang