(no subject)
Yes where are my bitches at? :]
I've decided to make some positive and major changes in my life. I'm tired of not feeling good about myself and i'm tired of being down about a lot of things in my life. I know my problems can't change and wont change until i acutually put forth some effort to try to change. I have a problem with being consistent. I hardly ever finish anything i start. I have played at least 10 different sports and i always quit at the end of the season and never play again. I have dropped out of numerous classes in college. This lack of consistency has frustrated the fuck out of me but i also feel bad because i'm not the only one who is affected by my inconsistency. Example being my parents losing massive amounts of money from me dropping out of classes.
I decided to put a stop to my behavior and hopefully turn myself around before its to late. I'm almost twenty yrs old . It's time for me to take responsibility for myself. Things wont get better until i make them better or at least attempt to. Enough is enough and i'm ready to do something about it. I just hope i can stick to these new plans of mine since we all know i am not good at sticking with things.
There are certain things i have decided to change and work on. The 1st being i need to tackle my weight. I am unhappy being the weight i am now. I am the heaviest i have ever been. My whole life i was skinny, skinny to the point of being underweight. I started taking medicine for my depression [ another thing i need to definitely work on ] and the medicine made me gain weight. I have been on the medicine for quite some time now and just recently i have been taken off that medicine and put on another medication which side-effects aren't weight gain. My problem is the weight i have put on, by taking this new medicine it means i won't be gaining any more weight but that doesnt mean i will be losing any either. I have bitched constantly about my weight and it depresses me but i havent really done anything about it.
So now it's time to tackle my weight and i am starting to exercise and eat healthy.
It's hard because before when i was skinny i could eat anything and not gain a pound. My friends were jealous because i ate a lot and it never showed. I never had to exercise so now that i do have to exercise i loathe it. I think no matter how much i exercise i will always hate it but exercise is something i neeed to do even if i hate it. I would love to be one of those people who's idea of fun is taking a million mile jogs or lifting weight but i know i will never be like that. Damn them jk :]
Another thing i need to start working on is myself image. As cheesy as this sounds i need to learn to love myself...my faults and everything. I have a hard time finding anything positive about myself whether it pertain to my looks or personality or smarts. I hate everything about myself..i honestly do. If i could have cosmetic surgery i'd tell them to just start over from scratch because i am a big ole mess right now. I realize though that i'm stuck in this body and my personality is stuck with me as well.
Instead of spending the rest of my life hating myself and being unhappy. I need to learn how to appreciate the good things about myself as hard as that may be for me. I might never love myself but i'm at least working towards liking myself. This doesnt mean i intend on becoming snobby and think i am the shit. I hate those kind of people :x Anyhow this entry is almost a novel so i;m going to stop here and in my next entry i'll continue to write about what i am trying to achieve and work on. Sorry, i know this entry isnt as entertaining as drama but this is really important to me and i want to overcome all these obstacles. I have failed many times trying to make positive changes but I'm not going to fail this time.
<3 me
*fuck the spelling & grammar errors..kthx
Ps. Dave, you make me incredibly happy. You are one of the very few things in my life that make me happy. I dont want you to get the wrong idea about this post.
I've decided to make some positive and major changes in my life. I'm tired of not feeling good about myself and i'm tired of being down about a lot of things in my life. I know my problems can't change and wont change until i acutually put forth some effort to try to change. I have a problem with being consistent. I hardly ever finish anything i start. I have played at least 10 different sports and i always quit at the end of the season and never play again. I have dropped out of numerous classes in college. This lack of consistency has frustrated the fuck out of me but i also feel bad because i'm not the only one who is affected by my inconsistency. Example being my parents losing massive amounts of money from me dropping out of classes.
I decided to put a stop to my behavior and hopefully turn myself around before its to late. I'm almost twenty yrs old . It's time for me to take responsibility for myself. Things wont get better until i make them better or at least attempt to. Enough is enough and i'm ready to do something about it. I just hope i can stick to these new plans of mine since we all know i am not good at sticking with things.
There are certain things i have decided to change and work on. The 1st being i need to tackle my weight. I am unhappy being the weight i am now. I am the heaviest i have ever been. My whole life i was skinny, skinny to the point of being underweight. I started taking medicine for my depression [ another thing i need to definitely work on ] and the medicine made me gain weight. I have been on the medicine for quite some time now and just recently i have been taken off that medicine and put on another medication which side-effects aren't weight gain. My problem is the weight i have put on, by taking this new medicine it means i won't be gaining any more weight but that doesnt mean i will be losing any either. I have bitched constantly about my weight and it depresses me but i havent really done anything about it.
So now it's time to tackle my weight and i am starting to exercise and eat healthy.
It's hard because before when i was skinny i could eat anything and not gain a pound. My friends were jealous because i ate a lot and it never showed. I never had to exercise so now that i do have to exercise i loathe it. I think no matter how much i exercise i will always hate it but exercise is something i neeed to do even if i hate it. I would love to be one of those people who's idea of fun is taking a million mile jogs or lifting weight but i know i will never be like that. Damn them jk :]
Another thing i need to start working on is myself image. As cheesy as this sounds i need to learn to love myself...my faults and everything. I have a hard time finding anything positive about myself whether it pertain to my looks or personality or smarts. I hate everything about myself..i honestly do. If i could have cosmetic surgery i'd tell them to just start over from scratch because i am a big ole mess right now. I realize though that i'm stuck in this body and my personality is stuck with me as well.
Instead of spending the rest of my life hating myself and being unhappy. I need to learn how to appreciate the good things about myself as hard as that may be for me. I might never love myself but i'm at least working towards liking myself. This doesnt mean i intend on becoming snobby and think i am the shit. I hate those kind of people :x Anyhow this entry is almost a novel so i;m going to stop here and in my next entry i'll continue to write about what i am trying to achieve and work on. Sorry, i know this entry isnt as entertaining as drama but this is really important to me and i want to overcome all these obstacles. I have failed many times trying to make positive changes but I'm not going to fail this time.
<3 me
*fuck the spelling & grammar errors..kthx
Ps. Dave, you make me incredibly happy. You are one of the very few things in my life that make me happy. I dont want you to get the wrong idea about this post.