old "about" page from the teribinthia diaries

Jul 13, 2008 19:34

i've decided to post this because i think it's fairly comprehensive, well-written and doesn't deviate very significantly from the version of myself that exists today.



note: i personally don't like writing autobiographies. to me, they've become something of a false representation -- they're what i envision myself to be like, the image i wish to convey, rather than reflecting who i really am, and how i actually behave in real life. besides, they're plain tiresome.

my name is cheryl.
30 september 83
singaporean.

you wouldn't think anything of me at first sight. i have one of those ordinary, non-descript faces which people don't normally remember. other than my eyes, i look like an exceedingly mild, unassuming person.

i do believe though, that i'm not that simple. due to several hurtful experiences in the past, it's become customary for me to hold most people at arms' length. i either talk too much (and too loudly) to you, or i don't say anything at all. to a dear few, it's the former, to most of the world, it's the latter.

i'm not really a people-oriented person, and i don't especially enjoy socialising. but i do enjoy observing human nature from a safe distance, that's where i get most of my kicks from. a great deal of my cynicism stems from that habit too. as well as fodder for writing material, which i'm always accumulating, consciously or otherwise.

character-wise, i guess i do live by principles. in contrast to a few years ago, i no longer hold many strong opinions, but i do cling to a select few and try my utmost to ensure that these aren't undermined, or violated. you'll be surprised that i can also be flexible about most issues, because i don't come across as that kind of person to most people. i also have a pretty wry sense of humour, it's not sarcastic -- just slightly twisted. you'll glimpse it at times, flitting between the crevices of my serious, stoic facade.

i try my best at my work. i don't always do it perfectly, but mind you, i try. a good number of people will testify to that. those who've been with me at school might say i'm too consistent for my own good, too disciplined, too conscientious. i am quite ambitious -- but not to a large extent. i don't procrastinate often, and when i do, it's usually for a good reason. i'm only idle in sleep, since i also think too much.

there are things i value in life. among them: my family, my good friends, my ability to create as i write, my crazed appetite for reading, good music and poetry, the phone/computer, cats, laughter, faith and love. i also like chocolate very much.

some things i dislike heartily: lack-lustreness, the absence of humour, superficiality/hypocricy (my favourite social malaise), passivity, the lack of initiative, atrocious grammar (i can understand it if someone's vocabulary is limited, but i cannot tolerate meanings getting distorted because of bad grammar)

something rather unusual about me is my sexual ambiguity. i don't claim to be totally hetrosexual, or homosexual either. i've developed infatuations on members of both sexes, although i suspect the only person i let myself love in that fashion was a female. still, it doesn't bother me much these days. i've met people who were seriously homophobic, but their behaviour just made me vaguely amused, all i can say is, be straight, but not narrow.

ask me about religion and God (or the lack of), and i'd probably not want to respond. let's just say, it's a debate which we'll never be able to resolve until all of us are good and dead. and since that may not be for quite some time, i'd just like to stick to discussing more concrete, conclusive issues.

a sense of vocation is something i can't do without. for the last 3 years or so, that has come to me in the form of writing. outside of school work, i've managed to build up a pretty prolific portfolio of poetry. never really attempted short-stories or drama, will only do so if someone requests it or shoots me a workable idea.

surprisingly, i get inspired and write my best stuff under conditions whereby i'm actually supposed to be doing something else. like studying. which isn't exactly convenient, but will have to do. :-)

....and so, this is me, the partial self at least, best known to myself alone. only God knows the whole and complete cheryl, so you might like to ask Him if you like.

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