I sold my soul in the summertime.

[flatbear]

I am currently in the bookstore

Comments

[boosette]

... Oh man.

Oh honey.

If I could get to your bookstore before 10PM tonight I would drive out to Asheville myself right now and rescue you from this grossness. D:

I can only suggest sitting down with a big pile of artbooks or coffeetable books with photos of, say, tiny adorable baby otters in them.

(Although it would be excellent, what is probably not feasible is standing behind Huckabee with a "Citation Needed" sign. (Some people need [citation needed] tattooed on their fool foreheads.))

[flatbear]

RIGHT? I feel like I'm in a Mel Brooks movie. Except if someone were to come in and say 'Yo, where the white women at,' I would scream and flail my arms around, all 'HERE! THERE'S HERE! DENYING ME MY RIGHT TO MARRY! AAAAGH!'

Oooh, art books! Now there's an idea. And the first thing I thought when I got here, and realized what was going on, was '...and me without my protest sign....'

[boosette]

Y'know how the bookstore sell things like tiny zen gardens and kama sutras in a box?

If they're going to host protestable events, bookstores need to sell "protest sign in a box" kits. Or whoopee cushions. Hanging out in the stacks and making fart noises whenever someone says something egregious would be amusing, if not very mature.

[flatbear]

Oh god, I love you. If only you were here, we would sabotage the shit out of this clusterfuck!

[boosette]

IRL trolling at its finest, I swear. (releasing a large number of superballs into the wild, with great force and passion, and then blaming it on the children. Very funny, also not very mature.

... Maturity is overrated, anyway.

(Whyyy is it a 7-hour trip?))

[flatbear]

LEAVE NOW! You would get here with an hour to spare!!!

[rubynye]

I can't possibly respond better than this, but oh, you have my sympathies, o fabulous bear of flatness.