Feb 02, 2005 18:43
I need some uplifting music.
Evert said he was feeling outcasted, and that our group is bleak save two of his friends.
I don't know how he could say that, considering I'm very perky most of the time.
I don't want our group to be depressing. Anyway.. this is what I wrote in response to his post:
Evert,
I'm sorry if I seemed bleak today. I really did not want to be. You know, I wish I could try to get everyone to be a little more fun, and I really do try to get everyone together. But.. its hard, y'know? Its hard to do it when you yourself aren't feeling it that particular day. Its hard when we have people within the group that form their own circles and talk among themselves. I feel extremely bad right now, so bad I could cry, because of how you are feeling in our group. Yes, today was very despiriting... and don't feel outcasted, because know that you always have a place atleast with me.
I'm sorry... I don't know why I feel at such fault for this. I feel like I'm to blame.
I'm sorry. Please warm up Evert. You have so many things to look forward to, don't let it ruin your upcoming months. I'm trying to bring us together. I really am. Please feel better.
And in his post he didn't mention what I said today.. about how I try to bring everyone else's spirits up.
Am I just not doing that great of a job? Is it not worth mentioning? (Benefit of the doubt- He forgot about it)
This bugs me so damn much. It really, really bugs me. I love every single one of my friends, not a little bit, but a lot. I'll look at them all in the face and tell them I love them, if they wouldn't look at me weird.
I need someone right now.
Someone? Anybody?
No?
That's cool too. I'll just do this alone.
Atleast French was fun.
I'm gonna go shower now. Wallow in my own...
... Yeah.