(no subject)
This post was originally going to be me typing the word "fuck" about 200 times but then I decided that wouldn't really get what's making me feel bad off my chest. And why does it seem like I only ever use LJ anymore when I have something unpleasant to rant about?
So, last week was the big get-together in Austin. It was a pretty good time, getting to see my buddies again in person, getting to see the greatest collection of working pinball tables in my life, and having a genuine Korean BBQ experience. It would have been nicer if a number of people hadn't been knocked out for a day or two with the latest strain of Con Crud but Con Crud tends to be a jerk that way.
So, of course, because I had a good time for a weekend, life decided I needed a good old kick to the balls the second I stepped out of the airport. And I'm not exaggerating about that either. As soon as I got in the car to go home, my parents were very eager to inform me of some extremely bad news they saw in the newspaper.
One of my co-workers had been murdered.
Just like that, all the pleasant feelings I had went right out the window and I could only sit there numbly.
In that disassociating way one tends to think when a massive mental blow hits them like that (or at least that seems to be how my mind deals with such traumas), my first thoughts after "Oh Holy SHIT!" were "Life, can I not have ONE good vacation that isn't immediately followed up by some massive disaster to void the good feelings from it?!" and then, "Shit... and because of the budget cuts they're probably going to drag their heels hiring a replacement, which will make things even more chaotic around the office!"
That's why I'm working a double shift today and everyone's schedule is probably going to be massively out of whack for a while, since they're estimating it's going to be about a month for them to hire a new worker and the shift she had been working on was already short staffed as it was.
I know I'm not the one who really deserves sympathy or pity here. I'm still alive after all. But... this is one of those things where you're not sure how your mind is eventually going to wrap around it and there are moments at night, just before I fall to sleep, where my subconscious will muse if my rotten karma might have doomed her.
So, last week was the big get-together in Austin. It was a pretty good time, getting to see my buddies again in person, getting to see the greatest collection of working pinball tables in my life, and having a genuine Korean BBQ experience. It would have been nicer if a number of people hadn't been knocked out for a day or two with the latest strain of Con Crud but Con Crud tends to be a jerk that way.
So, of course, because I had a good time for a weekend, life decided I needed a good old kick to the balls the second I stepped out of the airport. And I'm not exaggerating about that either. As soon as I got in the car to go home, my parents were very eager to inform me of some extremely bad news they saw in the newspaper.
One of my co-workers had been murdered.
Just like that, all the pleasant feelings I had went right out the window and I could only sit there numbly.
In that disassociating way one tends to think when a massive mental blow hits them like that (or at least that seems to be how my mind deals with such traumas), my first thoughts after "Oh Holy SHIT!" were "Life, can I not have ONE good vacation that isn't immediately followed up by some massive disaster to void the good feelings from it?!" and then, "Shit... and because of the budget cuts they're probably going to drag their heels hiring a replacement, which will make things even more chaotic around the office!"
That's why I'm working a double shift today and everyone's schedule is probably going to be massively out of whack for a while, since they're estimating it's going to be about a month for them to hire a new worker and the shift she had been working on was already short staffed as it was.
I know I'm not the one who really deserves sympathy or pity here. I'm still alive after all. But... this is one of those things where you're not sure how your mind is eventually going to wrap around it and there are moments at night, just before I fall to sleep, where my subconscious will muse if my rotten karma might have doomed her.