TMinus 29...
I made sure to set my alarm a half our before tickets go on sale this morning. Fuck that. I'm angry. Who the fuck sells tickets to rock concerts in the morning? Don't they know rockers rock out at night? Rockin' kickin' happenin' folk don't wake up at 9:30 on SATURDAY. We might be working stiffs and be awake on the weekdays then, but fuck if we're getting out of bed early. I guess there's your occasional graveyard shift sucka on the way home from work, and Motley Crue who are rockin' 24/7 only because of the unholy mixture of heroin, hepatitis, and Jack Daniel's in their viens. But with those exceptions, nobody rocks at 10am on Saturday. I now understand why Lorin asked me to do this. He better be awake right now, driving to Chicago. Not fumbling around his parents house, laying between comfy sheets...
That was fucking stupid.
Anyway, while killing time -- fuck me I've still got 24 minutes before I go back to bed -- I woke up and immediately thought of two things. Must... buy... tickets... and a few items on this "list". Behold.
The Top 5 Things That Were Planned for the NIN/QotSA Concert, But Weren't Allowed Because They Would Be So Rockin' It'd Be Dangerous To Your Health
5. Adding a scorpion to the bottom of all the beer cups.
4. Cranking it up to 12. I know many feel that 11 if the highest setting for any rockin', but todays rocker has grown accustomed to it. Sadly, while most rockers are able to withstand rockin' out at 12 nowadays due to nanites and other rockin' technology, lame and uptight security guards would surely die. Also, the Joe Louis Arena, being an old structure would surely crumble to the ground as it opened in 1979 long before rockin'-at-12 had ever been a twinkle in rockers' eyes.
3. Crazy Death Magic Ritual. Trent Reznor nixed this one, afeared that Josh Homme wouldn't be able to keep Lucifer trapped within the binding circle.
2. Hot Babes Everywhere. While there might be a lot of hot babes (though I'm not expecting it) too many hot babes would surely end in chaos.
1. Adding Tool to the Bill
Holy shit was that close. I was posting this with 4 minutes to go and the Intertron went offline. I was about to start killing things....
That was fucking stupid.
Anyway, while killing time -- fuck me I've still got 24 minutes before I go back to bed -- I woke up and immediately thought of two things. Must... buy... tickets... and a few items on this "list". Behold.
The Top 5 Things That Were Planned for the NIN/QotSA Concert, But Weren't Allowed Because They Would Be So Rockin' It'd Be Dangerous To Your Health
5. Adding a scorpion to the bottom of all the beer cups.
4. Cranking it up to 12. I know many feel that 11 if the highest setting for any rockin', but todays rocker has grown accustomed to it. Sadly, while most rockers are able to withstand rockin' out at 12 nowadays due to nanites and other rockin' technology, lame and uptight security guards would surely die. Also, the Joe Louis Arena, being an old structure would surely crumble to the ground as it opened in 1979 long before rockin'-at-12 had ever been a twinkle in rockers' eyes.
3. Crazy Death Magic Ritual. Trent Reznor nixed this one, afeared that Josh Homme wouldn't be able to keep Lucifer trapped within the binding circle.
2. Hot Babes Everywhere. While there might be a lot of hot babes (though I'm not expecting it) too many hot babes would surely end in chaos.
1. Adding Tool to the Bill
Holy shit was that close. I was posting this with 4 minutes to go and the Intertron went offline. I was about to start killing things....