Sep 24, 2005 02:11
well today i went over to my grandma's friends house to help her do some work around her house she gave me 20. It took about 2 hours to do. Then i went over my grandma's house which is 3 houses down. Then i painted her garage for 20 more dollars so today i made like 40 dollars. When since i was in saginaw i went shopping for awhile. I went an bought the new brad paisley cd. So far is a really good cd. except for the fact that it talks about girls. Well since i dont have one and more then likely never will i sort of kind of get depressed just a little bit. Okay to the point of me wanted to go out to the store buy a 12 pack and just listen to the brad all night and drink the night away. I dont really know why i feel so sad around stuff like that. I mean most of the time i dont care that im alone at times it can be really really fun then other times it really sucks. I mean i do have friends but i mean have a girlfriend. I think what really did it for me was the fact that victor has a girlfriend. I happy for him and all but i really never saw the day he would have a girl.(no offense to him he's an aweome guy). HE used to only think of porn all day and the get laided. Wow how did he get a girl. Well he actually try unlike me. Well at one point in time i though that hey if a girls like me they can come to me. Well it did work a couple of times but the girls where all freaks either that or they just arent my type . Hell maybe i should just try for once. Thats the worst that could happen. Everything Well the problem i seem to have now is that i not afraid to talk to them like i was 2 or 3 years ago im just afraid wow i seem to be writing a lot of run on sentences. Oh well like i was saying i can be fine with a girl when it just me and her no problem bob but for some reason with other people around i seem to get shy and distant. I dont know why i just do. Maybe it because im shy that could be it depends who you talk to some say i am some say im not . Or it the fact that i fell like everyone is staring at me waiting for me to do or mess something up. I fell like im being watched and it scares the heck out of me. Once again i shouldnt care what others think. But i do wow i cant seem to make a sentence. I think half of that im saying is spelled wrong. But who cares it like 2:30ish. Im still up and i dont fell like going to bed. Maybe i should actually try to get one. Well i think i have destroyed my chances with one. I never really called well my phone was destroyed but then again i have a new one and i still never call. I really never really can anyone most of the time they call me. I think it goes back a ways when i called wEll i guess i can say her name nay you know who im talking about. WEll i guess i called her to much and now im afraid of doing the same thing again to someone elsa. Hey i cant live in the past now can i? . Hot dogs are done. What the hell am i doing eatihg at 3 in the morning im hungry. I know i know i going to get fat but who cares. anywasy IT seems like i ever get rejected online. THe one girl or girls i seem to get are all way to young like 12ish. HEll i got and idea i should wait like 35 years. SO that way im about to retire and then i can get some young 20 year old and she can or will date or marry me for my pension. Sounds good to me. well so what do i do about the next 35 years before i retire. Well how about i should just have fun and go to college and stop bitch. sounds good to me. Damn brad paisley i hate you now. by the way sorry i cant spell