Season 5 is my favorite...
oh will&grace...oh jack...oh karen...oh rosario, and in this season oh leo
these are my fave quotes cause theyre def. hilar.
From Mary Me a Little
WILL: You know, I think fall is finally here. I just saw the first drunk of the season turn yellow and tumble gently to the ground.
KAREN: I tripped, okay?
KAREN: Oprah can be a lot of fun. And there's no one I'd rather have watching my back in a bar fight.
KAREN: Holy cripes. Am I outside?
GRACE: You're Katie Couric. I love you!
KATIE: Well, thank you. I'm sure if we spent more time together, I'd love you too.
GRACE: So, uh, what is going on here? [QUIETLY TO LEO] Talking with Katie.
KATIE: We're just having this mass wedding. Some stupid stunt for sweeps.
LEO: Well, if you're here, where in the world is Matt Lauer? Ha ha ha!
KATIE: Ha ha!
LEO: [QUIETLY TO KATIE] Laughin' with Katie.
KATIE: Yeah, I asked myself the same damn question when they told me I had to work on a Sunday, as if being cute and perky five days a week isn't enough hard enough.
GRACE: I hear that.
GRACE: "Best of luck"? Well, thanks for coming to my bat mitzvah, Uncle Hachem. Have a safe drive to back to Syosset.
KAREN: I don't know what half those words meant.
LEO: Look, uh-- Will, I know you feel left out. Would it help to know that right before we got married Grace said, "I really wish Will were here?" And I said, "Me too?"
WILL: Really?
LEO: I just asked, would it help?
WILL: Cutting the tension with cruelty. How thoughtful of you.
BOBBI: This all happened so fast. I don't even know from Leo. I'm not sure I approve.
GRACE: He's a Jewish doctor.
BOBBI: Ooh, I love him! Don't cock it up.
JOE: Larry, you should get up and say something. They spoke at our wedding.
LARRY: That was a gay wedding. It didn't really count.
JOE: That joke isn't funny anymore.
LARRY: It is to me.
LEO: Hi. This reminds me of something my grandfather once said: "Where's that Jamaican woman who feeds me?"
KAREN: That was wild, wasn't it, Jackie? The way Grace just kind of spooked and ran off. Kind of like Rosie whenever I fire my gun in her room just as she's falling asleep.
JACK: Yeah, she's really upset. I've never seen Grace actually run from a cake.
WILL: Leo, hey. I--I'm sorry. You okay?
LEO: I'm about as good as Bill Buckner of the '86 Red Sox.
WILL: Ooh, ouch. I'm sorry.
LEO: Do you even know what that means?
WILL: No, but anybody that's got 43 pairs of red socks obviously had issues
From Marry Me a Little More
WILL: You've gotta be kidding me. The photographer's late. Four people who RSVP'd "no" just arrived with dates. And the cake shows up with two grooms on it. Is the whole city gay?
JACK: Not yet. [WITH ENGLISH ACCENT] But if all goes as planned, come Monday morning... [WRINGS HIS HANDS WITH AN EVIL LAUGH] Mwah-ha-ha-ha!
KAREN: Oh, isn't that sweet? Will's doin' her one last time before he hands her off to Leo.
JACK: I just hope before I get married, he'll do the same for me.
KAREN: Ditto. [LAUGHS]
WILL: I can't do that. I'm running this show. I-I got a million things to attend to. G-G-G-Get Jack to do it.
GRACE: I'm not having Jack walk me down the aisle. He'll meet someone halfway down and ditch me!
WILL: Well, then-- then get Karen to do it.
GRACE: Karen? When was the last time she could walk a straight line?
GRACE: Yup. I thought you were the cutest guy I had ever seen. So I came up to you, and I asked for a drink. And you were so sweet, the way you held that funnel for me.
From The Honeymoon's Over
GRACE: [GIGGLING] Whee! Going on my honeymoon.
WILL: I'm happy for you. I've also narrowed down what I'm gonna turn your room into. It's either gonna be a home office, a gym, or a gift-wrapping room, like Candy Spelling has. Ah, who am I kidding? The bows and ribbons arrive tomorrow.
JACK: Um, sweetheart?
WILL: Yes, bunny?
JACK: I think I'm gonna need my allowance a little early this week.
WILL: Well, I thought you were doing well teaching your acting class.
JACK: 'Twas. But, um, I had to kick a student out. Yeah. Phillip wasn't willing to do what it takes to become a great actor.
WILL: He wouldn't make out with you?
JACK: All I wanted was a little Mr. French! He got all crazy when I told him. Started hissing and spraying everywhere. He even told me he was gonna sic the gay mafia on me. Heh heh heh.
WILL: Right, the gay mafia. Or as I like to call it, really organized crime.
JACK: Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Yeah, what are they gonna do? Measure me for concrete sneaker clogs?
WILL: They gonna make you a coiffure you can't refuse?
JACK: Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha-- I don't get that one.
From All About Christmas Eve
JACK: Hey, feliz navi-dude.
LEO: You know, it's kind of ironic, actually. I treated a guy who took a puck to the groin during a pick-up hockey game, and he gave me two tickets to The Nutcracker.
GRACE: Yeah, it'd be even more ironic if the ballet were called "Crap, Now I Can't Have Kids."
KAREN: Hey, you're not Santa Claus. Close, though. You got a couple of white hairs sproutin' outta your chin, and you look like you just came down the chimney.
GRACE: We'd make a good team. Your nose is so red you could guide my sleigh tonight
JACK: Hi, G! Hey, Kare, come help me stretch out my stocking. I don't want Santa to think I have small feet.
meh and now i have to do homework
but seriously
so funny