Skitty Kat and Goldphish Bowl Are Dead
Blame skitty_kat, She was the one who dared me.
No authentic Australians were harmed in the writing of this fic. All accents are ridiculously exaggerated and if any genuine Aussies are offended, I will happily write Wolverine-fic with an overabundance of Ehs, toques, chesterfields and back bacon as penance.
Title: none because, y'know, naming a thing gives it power :-P
Author: Alan Smithee :3
Characters: Captain Boomerang, Pied Piper
Rating: technically it's G for General Audiences, but since it's Piper and Boomerbutt, it's more like G for GAH MY EYEEEEES!!!!!
Summary: Digger has a problem; Piper has a solution
He hadn't expected it to work out like this. He'd got the timing right, showing up a few years after the history books said he'd dropped off the face of the planet. It probably wasn't the best place to hide, but after the thugs had showed up for Mel, he'd had no other choice. Probably should've left the tyke at the hospital, under the law he could do that. Captain Boomerang had too many enemies in any time period to be safe with a kid. But there was a problem.
The tyke was a speedster. No clue why - Mel wasn't, he sure as heck wasn't, but they had a suspicion and when the Science Police and the thugs started hunting them, they were pretty damn sure they were right. So Meloni had bought him enough time to hop the time bubble and here he was back in his home century with a toddling child, no money and no place to go.
A toddling child who could break the sound barrier. "Oy!! OWEN!! Yew little blighter, get back 'ere!" Catching a glimpse of blue romper, he flung the large padded boomerang he'd developed for child retrieval purposes. It carried him back, giggling and squealing and flailing his chubby little arms in delight but Digger wondered how much longer that would last -- Owen was growing quickly.
God only knew why, the kid didn't eat nearly as much as he needed because he wouldn't keep still! And he needed a lot. A lot. He was going to have to pull a job soon, the shelter's resources couldn't keep up with a teeny speedster. He wasn't sure he could, either. "OWEN!!!"
Sound split the air and the child suddenly slowed. Digger burst out laughing at the expression of frustration on the tiny chubby face as little Owen was suddenly trying to run through molasses. "Gotcha!" The toddler squealed as he was scooped up. "That trick always worked a treat on Flash," Digger said, relieved, "Betcher never thought you'd use it on a speedster this tiny. Thanks, Piper."
"You're welcome," Piper said, beeping the child's nose, "I wondered if that was you; I saw you at the shelter this morning. What are you doing there with a child?"
"'E's me sprog," Digger said, ruffling the boy's wild hair. Owen immediately wrapped chubby arms around his neck and squealed happily, "We're lyin' low at the Seed until I can get some resources together."
Piper noticed the strong resemblance and frowned, "Is this what happens when you fight Flash for too long? You catch speed disease?"
"Ha!! Got me, mate, but 'is mother was a Thawne."
"What, as in Eobard? Old Professor Zoom, the Reverse Flash?"
"Aye, that was 'er ancestor. She weren't a speedster herself but we think they were pullin' experiments on 'er. But they didn't know she had a bun in the oven."
Piper arched an eyebrow, "Ancestor?"
Digger nodded. He hesitated a moment but if anyone would understand, it was a fellow Rogue. "She's from the 30th century. An' it ain't no shiny jetpack fewchah, either."
"How on earth did you end up there?"
"Honestly, mate, I 'ave no idear."
* * * *
Quite simply, Piper was a god-send. Piper could slow the tyke down and him playing his dinner music kept Owen calm enough for Digger to get a decent meal into both of them. They both felt a little guilty about manipulating the child like this, but it meant the kid was getting enough to eat. As if baby metabolism wasn't demanding enough without being a speedster as well.
Piper was good with the kid as well, after the years of dealing with his mentally-challenged sister. He could keep the child occupied enough for Digger to get some rest. And he'd had the brainstorm of teaching Owen to sign -- turned out the tyke could form a coherant thought but his vocal cords weren't developed enough yet. At least he could sign what he wanted. And, most blessed gift of all, Piper could sing the boy to sleep and the little bother would actually stay down for a couple of hours. Digger gratefully took the sleeping boy into his arms and lay down himself.
Piper watched them for a few minutes. He'd never liked Digger Harkness. Break you out of jail one moment, throw you to the wolves the next. He was easily the most offensive man Piper had ever met, and that was saying something. Asleep, Piper could see all of the stress, the anxiety and fear, written across Digger's face. He could see the pain and worry and the way Digger curled himself protectively around the little boy who'd picked up the sign for 'Daddy' instantly.
He was on the run from god knew what, he needed to hang up his boomerangs and go underground. But Owen was such a handful, there was no way Digger could hold a regular job, not like this. He'd have to pull a Rogue job and there'd go his cover. Piper shook his head, then went home to make his house as child!speedster-proof as he possibly could.
No authentic Australians were harmed in the writing of this fic. All accents are ridiculously exaggerated and if any genuine Aussies are offended, I will happily write Wolverine-fic with an overabundance of Ehs, toques, chesterfields and back bacon as penance.
Title: none because, y'know, naming a thing gives it power :-P
Author: Alan Smithee :3
Characters: Captain Boomerang, Pied Piper
Rating: technically it's G for General Audiences, but since it's Piper and Boomerbutt, it's more like G for GAH MY EYEEEEES!!!!!
Summary: Digger has a problem; Piper has a solution
He hadn't expected it to work out like this. He'd got the timing right, showing up a few years after the history books said he'd dropped off the face of the planet. It probably wasn't the best place to hide, but after the thugs had showed up for Mel, he'd had no other choice. Probably should've left the tyke at the hospital, under the law he could do that. Captain Boomerang had too many enemies in any time period to be safe with a kid. But there was a problem.
The tyke was a speedster. No clue why - Mel wasn't, he sure as heck wasn't, but they had a suspicion and when the Science Police and the thugs started hunting them, they were pretty damn sure they were right. So Meloni had bought him enough time to hop the time bubble and here he was back in his home century with a toddling child, no money and no place to go.
A toddling child who could break the sound barrier. "Oy!! OWEN!! Yew little blighter, get back 'ere!" Catching a glimpse of blue romper, he flung the large padded boomerang he'd developed for child retrieval purposes. It carried him back, giggling and squealing and flailing his chubby little arms in delight but Digger wondered how much longer that would last -- Owen was growing quickly.
God only knew why, the kid didn't eat nearly as much as he needed because he wouldn't keep still! And he needed a lot. A lot. He was going to have to pull a job soon, the shelter's resources couldn't keep up with a teeny speedster. He wasn't sure he could, either. "OWEN!!!"
Sound split the air and the child suddenly slowed. Digger burst out laughing at the expression of frustration on the tiny chubby face as little Owen was suddenly trying to run through molasses. "Gotcha!" The toddler squealed as he was scooped up. "That trick always worked a treat on Flash," Digger said, relieved, "Betcher never thought you'd use it on a speedster this tiny. Thanks, Piper."
"You're welcome," Piper said, beeping the child's nose, "I wondered if that was you; I saw you at the shelter this morning. What are you doing there with a child?"
"'E's me sprog," Digger said, ruffling the boy's wild hair. Owen immediately wrapped chubby arms around his neck and squealed happily, "We're lyin' low at the Seed until I can get some resources together."
Piper noticed the strong resemblance and frowned, "Is this what happens when you fight Flash for too long? You catch speed disease?"
"Ha!! Got me, mate, but 'is mother was a Thawne."
"What, as in Eobard? Old Professor Zoom, the Reverse Flash?"
"Aye, that was 'er ancestor. She weren't a speedster herself but we think they were pullin' experiments on 'er. But they didn't know she had a bun in the oven."
Piper arched an eyebrow, "Ancestor?"
Digger nodded. He hesitated a moment but if anyone would understand, it was a fellow Rogue. "She's from the 30th century. An' it ain't no shiny jetpack fewchah, either."
"How on earth did you end up there?"
"Honestly, mate, I 'ave no idear."
* * * *
Quite simply, Piper was a god-send. Piper could slow the tyke down and him playing his dinner music kept Owen calm enough for Digger to get a decent meal into both of them. They both felt a little guilty about manipulating the child like this, but it meant the kid was getting enough to eat. As if baby metabolism wasn't demanding enough without being a speedster as well.
Piper was good with the kid as well, after the years of dealing with his mentally-challenged sister. He could keep the child occupied enough for Digger to get some rest. And he'd had the brainstorm of teaching Owen to sign -- turned out the tyke could form a coherant thought but his vocal cords weren't developed enough yet. At least he could sign what he wanted. And, most blessed gift of all, Piper could sing the boy to sleep and the little bother would actually stay down for a couple of hours. Digger gratefully took the sleeping boy into his arms and lay down himself.
Piper watched them for a few minutes. He'd never liked Digger Harkness. Break you out of jail one moment, throw you to the wolves the next. He was easily the most offensive man Piper had ever met, and that was saying something. Asleep, Piper could see all of the stress, the anxiety and fear, written across Digger's face. He could see the pain and worry and the way Digger curled himself protectively around the little boy who'd picked up the sign for 'Daddy' instantly.
He was on the run from god knew what, he needed to hang up his boomerangs and go underground. But Owen was such a handful, there was no way Digger could hold a regular job, not like this. He'd have to pull a Rogue job and there'd go his cover. Piper shook his head, then went home to make his house as child!speedster-proof as he possibly could.