Aimlessly Aiming-
I was asleep, well, not asleep, but lying there in bed, staring up at the cieling, thinking about how thinkgs have yet to come to fruition for me. How I haven't gotten a job, or gotten published yet. I wonder why things haven't worked out as planned. I wonder why I despise the thought of being a teacher now, when all I ever wanted to do was be one. Then it hit me, then I saw it. It was like a color-coded snowstorm channel. I could see all the dots that make up the colors, I could see all the object, how they come together, I could see how they interact with each other... I could see atoms, I could see life. And I wondered if I really mattered on a molecular level, what do the molecules think of me, do they care what I have seen and been through. Then I realized that it doesn't matter, because my body is organic, part of the same molecular system. I realized that I am life, but just a small portion of it.
Honeslty, I thought I was going to die. I had this big pain in my chest that went throuch and pierced my body. Through my spine and lungs to and out my ribs. But I wasn't, nor did I. But something inside me was telling me to wake up, which then in turn led me here.
I can't see the words that I am typing on the screen, I left my glasses in the other room. I can only see the spaces between the letters; the light I am using flickers on and off, I shake it for it to stay on- I wonder if that is a sign telling me that I should go to bed. But no, I stay awake and ponder what there is little left to ponder
I have figured out what there is inside me that eats me up, that cause me pain throughout my body, the sharp piercing pain, it is me. I am in myself, telling myself that there is more of me, so far undetected, so far unknown, they mysetery of life, it urges me to go on and here I am learning this through the first time through what I concieve to be rational thought.
Or, maybe i just have heart burn...
Honeslty, I thought I was going to die. I had this big pain in my chest that went throuch and pierced my body. Through my spine and lungs to and out my ribs. But I wasn't, nor did I. But something inside me was telling me to wake up, which then in turn led me here.
I can't see the words that I am typing on the screen, I left my glasses in the other room. I can only see the spaces between the letters; the light I am using flickers on and off, I shake it for it to stay on- I wonder if that is a sign telling me that I should go to bed. But no, I stay awake and ponder what there is little left to ponder
I have figured out what there is inside me that eats me up, that cause me pain throughout my body, the sharp piercing pain, it is me. I am in myself, telling myself that there is more of me, so far undetected, so far unknown, they mysetery of life, it urges me to go on and here I am learning this through the first time through what I concieve to be rational thought.
Or, maybe i just have heart burn...