The Tarot of the Future
Know what I found out recently? Tarot cards were invented only 300 years ago in pre-revolutionary France, and were originally used merely as a card game.
I will say that again: A GAME.
To me, this conjures up the terrifying possibility that another 300 years in the future there will be, hunched over a mystically arranged deck of Happy fucking Families, a wizened old gypsy crone, ruminating: “Ah. Mister Plod, the Policeman. Now I know what you’re thinking, but don’t worry. Sometimes, it just means change.”
Having brought this discovery up during my Waterstone’s leaving do (which was lovely, thanks for asking - they bought me a cigarette case. So, given I’m trying to quit before I start teaching kids on MONDAY, that’s thoughtful… I guess I could always use it for storing IKEA pencils instead. But I digress) the conversation continued along the lines of the quite scary possibilities of what games / movies / popular cultures will be the religions and mystical claptrap of the future. They are pretty limitless, but here's a couple to get you going:
Pokemoncy. Just sounds right, doesn't it? Pikachu will probably evolve into a long-term replacement for Santa Claus, or something...
Star Wars: it’s already referred to as ‘the Holy Trilogy’, Jedi is an official religion on more than one census (Censi? Censes?). Given the way most religions seem to schism, surely it’s only a matter of time before fanatical ‘Lucusians’ are burning each other at the stake for trivial revisions to the sacred texts….
“Recant your heresy!”
“Never! Han shot first! You’re the one who’ll be paying the price for your lack of vision… and I will be serviced by droids of every description in the afterlife for my martyrdom. AND Twi’lek dancers too! For it is written: ‘Strike me down and I shall become more powerful than you could ever imagine!'”
“Bah. I light the fires with the sacred word of punishment: BOSKA!”
__________________________
I personally reckon that in three hundred years time the Holy Trinity will most likely consist of Jesus, Elvis, and L. Ron Hubbard. With Madonna as a virgin mum.
Admittedly, people will by then perforce have forgotten about her being married to Guy Richie. But hey, every cloud…
I now throw open the doors of prediction to you all:
What new crap will people be swallowing in 300 years time?
Answers on a postcard please….
I will say that again: A GAME.
To me, this conjures up the terrifying possibility that another 300 years in the future there will be, hunched over a mystically arranged deck of Happy fucking Families, a wizened old gypsy crone, ruminating: “Ah. Mister Plod, the Policeman. Now I know what you’re thinking, but don’t worry. Sometimes, it just means change.”
Having brought this discovery up during my Waterstone’s leaving do (which was lovely, thanks for asking - they bought me a cigarette case. So, given I’m trying to quit before I start teaching kids on MONDAY, that’s thoughtful… I guess I could always use it for storing IKEA pencils instead. But I digress) the conversation continued along the lines of the quite scary possibilities of what games / movies / popular cultures will be the religions and mystical claptrap of the future. They are pretty limitless, but here's a couple to get you going:
Pokemoncy. Just sounds right, doesn't it? Pikachu will probably evolve into a long-term replacement for Santa Claus, or something...
Star Wars: it’s already referred to as ‘the Holy Trilogy’, Jedi is an official religion on more than one census (Censi? Censes?). Given the way most religions seem to schism, surely it’s only a matter of time before fanatical ‘Lucusians’ are burning each other at the stake for trivial revisions to the sacred texts….
“Recant your heresy!”
“Never! Han shot first! You’re the one who’ll be paying the price for your lack of vision… and I will be serviced by droids of every description in the afterlife for my martyrdom. AND Twi’lek dancers too! For it is written: ‘Strike me down and I shall become more powerful than you could ever imagine!'”
“Bah. I light the fires with the sacred word of punishment: BOSKA!”
__________________________
I personally reckon that in three hundred years time the Holy Trinity will most likely consist of Jesus, Elvis, and L. Ron Hubbard. With Madonna as a virgin mum.
Admittedly, people will by then perforce have forgotten about her being married to Guy Richie. But hey, every cloud…
I now throw open the doors of prediction to you all:
What new crap will people be swallowing in 300 years time?
Answers on a postcard please….