The world's finest treasure [2/?]
Title: The world’s finest treasure
Pairing: Harvey Specter/Mike Ross
Other character: Donna
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 3,660
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.
Warning: none
Summary: Harvey sits down with a piece of cloth to polish the hideous lamp.
Author’s note: Originally written for suits_meme. The prompt was ‘Harvey somehow acquired Mike-the-Genie.’
The next morning, the first thing that Harvey did when he walked into Pearson-Hardman was confronting his secretary. “Good morning, Donna. We need to talk.”
“Good morning, Harvey. Where did you decide to put the…” Donna couldn’t finish her sentence because Harvey had covered her mouth with his hand.
“Shh, don’t talk about it unless we’re in private, okay?”
Donna nodded with wide eyes and Harvey let go of her while rushing her into his office.
“So? Did it work?” Donna looked at her boss with curiosity as she sat on the couch.
“Did what work?” Harvey pulled down the blinds before sitting across her.
“The lamp! Did you rub it? Did you see him?” Donna whispered the last question secretively.
Harvey was shocked. “You know about Mike?”
“Of course I do! I’m the one who gave you that lamp. But I didn’t know that his name was Mike. What a cute name.”
“But how? He said that he had two… employers before and he didn’t mention you.”
Donna snorted. “I know Neal Caffrey’s friend, Dante Haversham. We are in the same book club. He’s the one who gave me the lamp and told me that if I was the rightful owner, I’d get to meet a blue friend. But nothing happened when I rubbed it. So I was going to give it to you on your birthday but you got promoted first. If you saw Mike, you must be the right person!”
Donna was excited. Her friend had told her that the lamp was one of the greatest treasures in the world and it turned out that none other than her boss was the rightful owner of it.
“What kind of a name is Dante Haversham?” Harvey smelled suspicion. “Let me guess. That friend is a felon too and it’s an alias.”
Donna smiled innocently. “All I know is that Caffrey knew that he was going to stay behind bars for a very long time. He wanted Mo… Dante to give the lamp to someone who could be completely trusted and who would never find himself in jail. Apparently, he was afraid that the lamp might end up getting confiscated by the police or fall into the wrong hands. Oh, and this person also had to be someone that Caffrey doesn’t know so that he wouldn’t try to track him down and get the lamp back even if he got out of jail. He wanted Mike to have some closure and move on with his life.”
Harvey listened attentively before asking, “So Caffrey doesn’t want the lamp anymore?”
“It seems like it. He doesn’t want Mike to keep waiting for him.”
Harvey let out a small sigh of relief. At least he didn’t have to worry about fighting over the lamp with its previous owners.
“Do you believe that Shakespeare once owned the lamp? That’s what Mike told me.” Harvey didn’t want to doubt Mike’s words but he had to check.
“Well, from what I know, Caffrey did enjoy stealing the world’s most exquisite treasures and I hear that he adores literature. I’d normally suggest that you put Vanessa on this if you want to find out more but I don’t think it would be safe. You can’t really trust anyone when it comes to valuable treasure. Besides, she might trigger alerts while digging up some information. We don’t want questionable characters trying to hunt you down.”
Harvey was quiet for a moment, sorting out his thoughts. It was one thing to accept Mike’s existence and quite another to accept everything that seemed to be going on around him. He wanted to find out everything about the lamp but he didn’t feel like even a quick search on the Internet would be safe. He wanted to insure the lamp as well but leaving a paper trail could be dangerous. He couldn’t do anything that might put Mike or himself in danger. Caffrey was probably able to keep the lamp for as long as he could because he had kept things under the radar. If he wanted to keep Mike safe, he would have to stop asking questions and do the same. Mike told him that he wouldn’t appear unless the rightful owner rubbed the lamp but Harvey wasn’t born yesterday. He believed that there was an exception to every rule and he couldn’t risk anything happening to Mike.
“What am I going to do, Donna?” Harvey asked. He had never had to protect a treasure before. He couldn’t keep the lamp in a safe deposit box because it didn’t feel right. Mike was a creature that moved and talked; he deserved to get out of the lamp every once in a while.
“There’s only one thing to do.” Donna rarely got to see her confident boss look so helpless but she was Donna for a reason. “Keep him safe and enjoy his company.”
“You mean enjoy my three wishes.”
“Well, that’s a good start. Did you already make a wish?”
“No. I told him that I was perfectly happy with my life.”
“Oh, you silly, this is the perfect opportunity to have someone in your life! Ask for a decent husband. I think it’s time for you to start thinking about settling down.”
“But I don’t want a husband.”
Donna smiled warmly. “Harvey, I really think that a romantic relationship would do wonders to your flawed character.”
“What did you just say?” Harvey narrowed his eyes.
Donna laughed at Harvey’s attempt at intimidating her. “You heard what I said. It’s my honest advice. Think about it.”
“You know, Mike’s a smartass just like you. I’m surprised that you didn’t see him when you rubbed the lamp.”
“Perhaps he’s gay.” Donna’s response was simple.
“Yeah, he did seem to be gay.” Harvey had to admit it.
“So do you like him?”
“I only met him last night, Donna.”
“People are known to fall in love at first sight, Harvey.”
“Well, I’m not one of those people then.”
“Are you sure about that?” Donna eyed him suspiciously. “You seem to be awfully worried about him.”
“I’m just worried about one of the finest treasures in the world.”
“I hope you know how cute you are when you’re trying to fool me, Harvey. So cute.” Donna leaned forward to pinch her boss’ cheek but Harvey pulled back.
“Don’t touch my face.” He warned her.
“Why? Only Mike gets to touch it?” Donna had only asked on a hunch but apparently Mike had touched Harvey’s face.
“Wow, Harvey. What else happened last night? Did you let him kiss you too?”
“Donna, I asked you in here to find out more about the lamp, not to let you pry into my personal life.”
“Aww, we’re getting all defensive, aren’t we? And, you were trying to tell me that it wasn’t love at first sight?”
“I resent both your tone and your accusations.” Harvey used his lawyer voice.
“Resent all you want, Harvey. Just don’t pour it out on the poor souls that will be meeting you at the Four Seasons at 2 o’clock.” Donna reminded him.
“Why would I be meeting anyone at the Four Seasons today?” Harvey didn’t remember having a client meeting.
“Jessica wanted you to find an associate, remember? We talked about this yesterday, Harvey. Was the kiss so good that you lost a few brain cells on the way?”
“Donna!”
Donna just laughed at his reaction. She had been waiting for so long to see this day. ‘Of course it would take someone extra special to get him going. He’s not even human!’
She smiled sweetly and headed towards the door. “I’ll have Ray pick us up at half past one. Try not to think too much about Mike and get some work done, okay?”
Harvey felt like throwing a pen at her but he had a reputation to maintain. ‘What's Mike doing right now anyway? Mowing his lawn? Memorizing book after book? Telling other genies about me?’
Harvey got up from the couch, hoping that time would fly. He couldn’t wait to go home and get to know more about the mysterious creature.
Harvey came home in a bad mood that evening, feeling like he had wasted valuable hours talking to Harvard douche bags. None of the applicants had even come close to impressing him and he had tried to convince Jessica that he would really work better alone but rules were rules.
‘Let’s check if he’s all right.’ Harvey’s thoughts went straight to Mike as he locked the door behind him after making sure that nobody was lurking around in the hallway.
He had a safe in the bedroom but he didn’t want to put the lamp in such an obvious spot where everyone would look first. So he had put it inside a pot and hid it in the oven with some other pots.
‘Seriously, why do I have so many glass walls? Who knows if someone’s watching the house?’ Shaking his head at his taste of interior decoration, Harvey pulled down all the blinds and walked into the kitchen. Then he opened the oven and pulled out the pot. Much to his relief, the lamp was still inside.
Harvey opened the lid and looked inside the lamp. There was a small fig leaf in it. ‘Is this the same leaf that Mike had on his crotch? But it looks much smaller…’
Harvey had to assume that it was the same leaf but that it somehow got shrunk inside the lamp. It was the only logical conclusion no matter how irrational it sounded. ‘Ho… So if I take this out, he won’t be wearing anything?’
Harvey’s eyes gleamed with interest but he didn’t want to play games with a creature that he wasn’t familiar with. He didn’t want Mike to be offended and shrink his private parts or something.
‘Well, if full nudity isn’t an option, I have another idea.’ Harvey took the lamp and headed to his walk-in closet. He took off his jacket and hung it with care before looking for his old suits. When he had worked for the D.A’s office, he had a slightly smaller frame.
‘Hmm, this one should do.’ He picked a charcoal three-piece pinstripe suit and a light grey shirt. Then he chose a bow tie because he thought that it would suit Mike’s lithe physique better than a regular tie.
‘I guess he won’t need any socks or shoes.’ Harvey remembered that he could only see the genie from above his knees.
‘Okay, it’s time to get creative. I can’t believe I’m doing this sober.’ Harvey opened the lid of the lamp and took out the fig leaf. Then he put in the bow tie and closed the lid. He counted to ten and looked inside the lamp. Just as he had expected, the bow tie had become smaller.
‘Good. Now let’s try with bigger objects.’ Harvey pushed in one end of the vest, wondering if it would somehow fit inside the lamp. It wasn’t like he could close the lid and count to ten in the middle of all this pushing.
‘Perhaps I should just hand it over after rubbing the lamp.’ Harvey was about to pull out the vest when he realized that it felt lighter than before.
‘For the record, I am aware that this is totally insane. Why am I even bothering with his appearance?’ Blaming his respect towards decent suits, Harvey bulldozed the vest into the lamp and much to his surprise, it went all the way in.
‘I’m glad that I talked to Donna about Mike. If I get locked up in a mental hospital, she could keep me company.’ Harvey pushed in the rest of the suit the same way and closed the lid.
Then he took a shower and changed into more comfortable clothes, giving Mike enough time to deal with the suit.
‘I hope he doesn’t laugh in my face.’ Harvey rubbed the lamp with his handkerchief and waited for Mike to appear. When the beam of blue light turned into a human form, Harvey had to swallow a gasp. Mike looked terrific in a suit -in his suit- and the bow tie made him look even younger.
“Good evening, master. How do I look? This must be yours. It smells like you.” Mike smiled and turned around to show his master that the suit fit well.
“You look all right but where’s my vest?” Harvey tried not to stare at the genie’s ass.
Mike faced Harvey again. “Yeah, I meant to talk to you about that. A vest? Really? And, hey, where’s my underwear?”
“Underwear? Really?” Harvey tried to imitate the genie’s voice.
“I should’ve known that you were a pervert. You tried to peep at my ass yesterday.”
“Excuse me? I just didn’t want to share my underwear with you. We only met yesterday, Mike. I didn’t want our relationship to move too fast.” Harvey said with his tongue in his cheek.
“Why the foul mood, master? You had a hard day?” Mike giggled.
Harvey couldn’t believe that out of all the genies, he got such a childish one. “You can say that.”
“What gave you such a hard time?” Mike couldn’t stop himself. He knew that his job was to please his master but Harvey looked alarmingly hot when he made a disapproving face.
“And, you’re accusing me of being a pervert?” Harvey picked up the lamp from the floor and moved out to the living room.
“I’m just trying to speak your language!” Mike reached out and ran a hand in Harvey’s hair. “Tell me what bothered you today. I’m a good listener.”
Harvey put the lamp on the coffee table and sat down on the couch. “I suppose I could entertain you with stories of various types of idiots while my dinner gets here.”
Harvey pulled out his phone from his pocket and ordered pasta and a salad while Mike kept playing with his hair. It was very distracting but he managed to get the job done.
“So tell me about these idiots. Sometimes I like to hear stories about people who aren’t that bright. You know, just to see how the other half lives.”
Harvey laughed and realized that it was his first laugh of the day; other than the sarcastic ones that he had enjoyed in order to not die on the spot during the interviews. The genie might not have the power to give him a third eye but he definitely knew how to make him laugh.
By the time Harvey had finished his meal and had made fun of every single one of the applicants, Mike had made a whole glass of Sprite evaporate.
“Can you even taste it? Do you want another one?” Harvey asked as he took a sip of his scotch.
“No thanks, I’m good. And, of course I can taste it! Why else do you think I drank it? To eat away your fridge?”
“Is that any way to talk to your master?” Harvey wasn’t upset at all. He just wanted to see Mike’s reaction.
“Sorry, master. I was just pointing out the obvious.” Mike glared at Harvey who was clearly enjoying his authority.
“You told me yesterday that you didn’t need to eat.” Harvey knew that hunger and thirst were two different issues but he wanted to be sure.
“I never said that. You asked me if you had to feed me so I said no. I speak and breathe just like you! Of course I need some kind of nutrition. We have genie potions.”
“Genie potions.” It sounded like a name for a badly mixed cocktail in Harvey’s ears.
“So what are you going to do? Conduct another round of interviews?” Mike asked, refusing to give Harvey another opportunity to make fun of him.
“No way. I’m done facing Harvard clones. I want someone who can think outside the box and who has a useful pair of balls. I want another me.”
“Wow, are you sure you’re not the descendant of Narcissus?”
“Do we have to have a conversation about how you keep talking back to me?” Harvey was amused.
Mike closed his mouth and shook his head.
But it didn’t take long for him to open his mouth again. “Can I take off the bow tie? I feel stupid.”
“Then why did you wear it in the first place?”
“Because you wanted me to.”
“You didn’t wear the vest.”
“I thought that you’d be offended if I disapproved of two of your precious possessions.”
Harvey snorted. Despite walking all over him, Mike was fun to talk to.
‘At least he’s not an idiot.’ It was then that Harvey got a brilliant idea.
‘Damn, I really know how to think outside the box, don’t I?’ Congratulating himself for coming up with such an amazing idea, he grabbed Mike’s arm to get his attention.
“Yes, master?”
“Do you happen to have any interest in studying and practicing law?” Harvey poured himself another glass of scotch.
“You want me to help you with a case? I know everything there is to know about criminal law. Except for the most recent precedents, I guess.”
Harvey didn’t need to ask how he got to learn everything about that particular area of law. “What about corporate law?”
“Well, I’ve read several books on it but I find mergers extremely boring so I hope you don’t need my help on those.”
Harvey’s laughter filled the living room. Mike really was another him. “How fast can you read? You told me that you remember everything you read.”
“That’s right. But I have no idea how fast I can read. I suppose I could read over a thousand pages in a few hours?” Mike wasn’t sure of the speed of his reading. He had never had to read in a hurry.
“Would you be interested in being my associate? You can work from here. No need to go to the office and expose yourself to danger.” Harvey knew that Jessica would hate the idea of a telecommuting associate but he was willing to push it.
“What exactly does an associate have to do?”
“You’ll get paid for proofreading legal documents for a start.”
“But money has no value to me, Harvey. You can keep it.”
“Then what do you want in return?”
Mike thought about what he had received from his former masters. “What can you give me? I don’t think you're capable of writing sonnets and I don’t see any treasure around here.”
“I thought you were going to say something like ‘It’s all right, master. I don’t need anything.’.”
“Did you just try to imitate me?” Mike crossed his arms. He wasn’t pleased.
“It was a good impersonation. Admit it.”
“Unless that’s your first wish, I’m not admitting anything.”
Harvey wanted to pull Mike close and kiss the insubordination out of him.
“You want to kiss me.” Mike commented nonchalantly.
“What gave it away?” Harvey didn’t bother denying it. It wouldn’t be the first time that they kissed.
“So many things gave it away that I’m having a hard time trying to pick one.”
That was it. Harvey couldn’t stand the smart mouth anymore and kissed the breath out of Mike. It still felt strange even though it was their third kiss.
‘It’s strange yet weirdly hot.’ Mike tasted like Sprite and mint, and Harvey quite liked the combination. He felt Mike’s windy hands sneak into his hair again. The genie seemed to have developed a thing for his hair.
‘The great thing about having a genie touch your hair is that he doesn’t mess it up.’ Harvey noted as he deepened the kiss. Mike’s moans traveled straight from Harvey’s mouth to his third most important organ and Harvey knew that he would have to end the kiss or there was no going back.
“I think I know what I want from you.” Mike spoke as he tried to catch his breath.
“Tell me then.”
“I want kisses from you.” Mike looked straight into Harvey’s eyes. He wasn't joking.
“I don’t kiss people I work with. Once you start working as my associate, I’m not going to kiss you.”
“Oh yeah? As if anyone could resist me.”
Harvey didn’t appreciate the confidence in Mike's voice.
“What? I’m another you! I think I’m allowed to indulge in a little narcissism.” Mike grinned.
Harvey shook his head and went back to the original subject. “So let me ask you again properly. Are you willing to read everything about corporate law and let me mentor you? Are you willing to be my associate?”
“Only if you agree to pay me with kisses.” Mike was stubborn.
“You’ll have to ask for something else, Mike.”
“If you don’t want to kiss me, you’ll have to use your first wish.”
“Fine. It’s not like I need those wishes for anything else.”
“Fine. So you wish me to be your associate? For how long?”
“For as long as I like.”
“All right. Your wish shall be granted. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, can you give me a tour of the house?”
“What? That’s it? You’re not going to chant a spell in Latin or perform some kind of a ritual?”
“Wow, you really don’t know anything about genies, do you? I think you should read up on genies, Harvey. It’s only fair if you’re making me read about corporate law.”
Harvey wanted to point out that he had made an official wish to have Mike as his associate so it was appropriate to make him read about law, but he had a feeling that Mike would ride him hard no matter what he said.
“Can we start the tour with the kitchen?” Mike asked with his puppy eyes that used to melt the insides of his previous masters.
“Sure… Why not.”
Thankfully, they seemed to be working just as effectively with his new master.