The world's finest treasure [1/?]
Title: The world’s finest treasure
Pairing: Harvey Specter/Mike Ross
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 3,361
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.
Warning: none
Summary: Harvey sits down with a piece of cloth to polish the hideous lamp.
Author’s note: Originally written for suits_meme. The prompt was ‘Harvey somehow acquired Mike-the-Genie.’
‘How dare she make me bring this thing home…’
Harvey put down the antique lamp on his coffee table as soon as he came home. His beloved secretary had given him a gift to congratulate him on making senior partner but it was absolutely hideous. He vaguely remembered Donna rambling about how special the lamp was and how she would have kept it for herself if she hadn’t loved him so much but really, given the utter ugliness of the lamp, she must have been joking.
‘What am I supposed to do with this? Laugh at its awful pattern whenever I want to feel worse? Couldn’t she have at least polished it before dumping it on me?’
Harvey changed into something more comfortable and fetched a piece of cloth from the kitchen. Then he sat down on the couch and started to rub the brass lamp.
‘Great. It heats up when I rub it. Where on earth did she find this piece of junk?’ Harvey frowned and rubbed it harder out of sheer annoyance.
Much to his surprise, the lamp started to rattle and a beam of blue light slowly came out of its mouth. The light soon morphed into a human figure and Harvey dropped the lamp on the coffee table.
‘So this is what happens when you don’t sleep for 36 hours.’ Harvey blinked his eyes several times, hoping that his hallucinations would stop. He was certain that he hadn’t fallen asleep so it couldn’t be a dream. He was looking at this young guy with dirty blond hair and mesmerizing blue eyes, wearing nothing but a leaf over his groin. The object of his hallucination wasn’t completely out of the lamp; he was only visible above his knees.
“Hello, master. Nice to meet you.” The guy waved his hand and smiled.
Harvey bit his hand to muffle the scream that was threatening to leave his mouth. He had obviously lost his mind.
“Who are you…?” He felt stupid for talking to a person that didn’t exist and a little proud that his imagination had come up with such a cute product.
The guy tilted his head and looked at Harvey. “I’m a genie, what do you think? Didn’t you read stories about us when you were a child?”
Harvey thought about Aladdin. Did he miss the story so much that his subconscious had decided to make him meet a genie? But the guy in front of him looked so real. Damn, he had a vivid imagination.
“I thought genies only existed in fiction.” The more he talked, the most stupid he felt.
“Ah, a common misconception.” The genie nodded and smiled.
Convinced that he wouldn’t get sued by something that he had imagined, Harvey let his eyes travel from the messy hair to the happy trail and all the way down to the toned thighs. ‘That’s quite a big leaf. And, why is my hallucination censoring things?’
Harvey thought about ripping the leaf off the guy but he wanted to check something else first. So he grabbed the handle of the lamp and turned it around. Unfortunately, the genie turned around as well, leaving Harvey with the same view.
“Hey! What are you trying to do? Take a peep at my ass?” The genie snapped.
Harvey wondered if he had to say sorry to make his hallucinations go away. But did he really want the guy to disappear already? There was nobody around to judge him. He could use a little bit of unusual entertainment before passing out on his bed.
“Are you always this quiet?” The genie asked with a small frown on his forehead.
“No. I’m an attorney. I talk for a living.”
“Oh, are you any good?”
“I’m the best closer in the city.” Harvey answered smugly.
The genie looked around in amazement. “Judging by this place, it looks like you might be telling the truth. Whoa, dude, is that an elevator?”
“Yes, that’s a glass elevator and don’t you ever call me ‘dude’.” Harvey warned him.
“Would you prefer ‘master’ then?” The genie lowered his voice.
Harvey thought for a moment. He wasn’t going to develop feelings for a creature that lived in a lamp inside his imagination. “You can call me Harvey.”
“Harvey? That’s your name? What a nice name. It suits you.” The genie smiled and said Harvey’s name a few times. It sounded pleasant in his mouth.
“What’s yours? Do you even have a name?” Harvey figured that it would be easier to call him by something.
The genie made a disapproving face. “Of course I do! My first master named me ‘Michael’. But that was a long time ago and now I prefer ‘Mike’.”
“You had other masters?” Harvey felt an emotion that he wasn’t ready to admit. Why was his subconscious trying to mess with him? Was he getting punished by himself for not sleeping enough?
“Yes, I had two. William and Neal.” Mike smiled fondly at the memories of his two previous masters.
“Last names?” Harvey wanted to see how far his subconscious had taken it.
“Shakespeare and Caffrey.”
Harvey became silent. This was a whole new level of insanity. The game had to end. “Okay, kid. It’s time for me to go to bed and put an end to this hallucination. Nice meeting you though.”
He stood up from the couch and pinched the genie’s cheek. His subconscious had put in a lot of effort into the details. He couldn’t feel human skin on his fingertips; he felt a puff of wind instead.
“I suppose I have to go through this again.” Mike let out a sigh.
“I am not a product of your imagination, Harvey. I am real.” He put a hand on Harvey’s cheek. “I am here to make three of your wishes come true.”
Harvey pulled away from the windy hand and laughed.
“Hey, you’re the one who rubbed the lamp and summoned me! If you’re just going to waste my time and make fun of me, I might as well go back inside. Perhaps the lamp was wrong and you’re not the right master for me.” Mike wore a disappointing look on his face as he started to slide back into the lamp.
“Wait a second.” Harvey grabbed Mike’s wrist.
“What? You have jokes that you just have to make in my face?” Mike glared.
“Listen. I want to believe you but I’m an attorney. Do you have any kind of proof that William Shakespeare was actually your…” Harvey didn’t want to use the word ‘master.’
“Proof?” Mike pulled his wrist out of Harvey’s grip and threw his hands in the air. “He wrote 126 sonnets about me! What more do you want?”
Harvey snorted and sat down on the couch again. This was getting better and better. “Are you trying to say that you’re the ‘Fair Youth’ in his sonnets?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying! Hey, he’s the one who gave me this leaf. With today’s technology, you can probably get his print off.” Mike pointed at the leaf that was covering his intimate parts.
Harvey blinked his eyes. He was dying to know what was behind the leaf but it didn’t feel right to harass the genie whether he was real or not.
‘I shouldn’t have rubbed the lamp. There must’ve been small traces of drug on it and I must’ve inhaled it.’ Harvey came to the logical conclusion and enjoyed a laugh. If his subconscious was presenting him with a cute guy wearing almost nothing, perhaps he had to find a boy toy after getting enough sleep.
“Harvey? Hello…?” Mike waved his hand in front of Harvey’s face. His new master was good-looking and had a very nice voice but alas, it seemed like he was mentally challenged at times.
“Listen.” Harvey started to talk.
“No, you listen this time.” Mike’s tone was stern. “If all those beautiful sonnets aren’t good enough for you, let’s try something else. But please don’t punch me in the face. I won’t get physically hurt but it will hurt my feelings.”
Harvey opened his mouth to tell him that he didn’t practice violence in his everyday life, but he didn’t manage to get the words out since the genie was kissing him on the mouth.
‘Okay, this has to be great material for psychotherapy. Am I virtually kissing myself here? Exactly how strong were those drugs?’ Harvey closed his eyes and wished that this bizarre experience would end soon.
But the more time went by, the more vivid he felt what was supposed to be the genie’s lips. It felt like wrapping his lips around a warm and sweet breath of air. It wasn’t like any of the kisses that he had shared with a human being but Harvey found it difficult to say that it wasn’t a real kiss. All of his senses were screaming at him to deepen the kiss and Harvey found himself wrapping an arm around the genie’s waist and pulling him closer.
“Is this enough proof for you?” Mike asked as he tried to catch his breath. He hadn’t kissed anyone in a while and Harvey’s lips felt fantastic.
Harvey nodded. He couldn’t explain it but he was absolutely certain that the kiss had been real.
‘When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.’ He thought about one of his favorite quotes from ‘Sherlock Holmes’.
“Great! Now that we’ve established that I actually exist, let’s talk about the ground rules.”
“Ground rules for what?” Harvey felt Mike slip out of his fingers. He was no longer holding his waist and he didn’t like it.
“For your three wishes.” Mike answered with a sympathetic face. “Harvey, I don’t usually make suggestions but perhaps you should wish for a higher level of intelligence.”
“Excuse me?” Harvey growled. This was another proof that he must be dealing with a real genie. There was no way that his subconscious would question his intelligence in any circumstance.
“Sorry, master. I was out of line. I apologize.” Mike didn’t want to upset his master.
“It’s okay. But I thought I told you to call me Harvey.”
“But why? You obviously like it better when I call you master.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do. And, genies are supposed to please their masters so I’ll have to keep calling you master. Just live with it.”
Harvey groaned. His genie definitely had personality. “I believe you wanted to talk about some ground rules.”
Harvey wondered if Donna had really given him something that had once belonged to the master of English literature and a criminal mastermind.
“Yes. There is no time limit for your wishes. You can make all three of them at once or you can take a dozen years between them. When you make a wish, please make it very clear and specific so I wouldn’t get it wrong. Your wishes must be somewhat realistic or I wouldn’t be able to make them come true. For example, if you ask me to fly you to Neptune or to give you a third eye, I wouldn’t be able to do them. After you’ve made your three wishes, I will no longer appear even if you rub the lamp.”
Harvey bit his tongue to not offend the genie. What good was it if a genie didn’t have much magical powers? What if he really wanted a third eye on the back of his head just to glare at Louis?
“But I don’t have any wishes, Mike. I’m perfectly satisfied with my life as it is.” Harvey crossed his legs, feeling more comfortable now that he accepted that Mike was somehow real.
Mike laughed. “That’s not possible. Everybody wants something. There must be something you want.”
Harvey thought for a while. He had health, wealth, a job that he loved, awesome gifts from clients, and a handful of people who looked out for him. What more could he ask for?
“What did those other guys want from you?” Harvey still didn’t feel like using the word ‘master’.
“Oh, I can’t talk about that, sorry. Genie-master confidentiality.”
“Is there really such a thing? And, if you haven’t heard because you were stuck inside the lamp, Shakespeare’s dead!”
Harvey immediately regretted announcing the news so cheerfully as he spotted a shadow cover Mike’s face. “I’m sorry, Mike. I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s okay. I know he’s gone. I was there when it happened.” Mike smiled sadly.
Harvey found himself reaching out for Mike’s hand and the genie took it without any hesitation.
As Harvey hoped that he wasn’t getting attached to a puff of air, Mike started to talk. “So William made all three wishes before he died. His first wish was to be inspired by me. His second one was to give me an eidetic memory.”
Harvey could tell that Mike missed his first employer. “He made a wish for you? Not for himself?”
“Yes, that was incredibly kind of him. I remember whatever I read. It’s very useful and I love it.” Mike smiled brightly and Harvey had to look away so that he wouldn’t get attached.
“What was his third wish? He didn’t set you free?” Harvey frowned. Perhaps the great poet wasn’t too kind after all.
“He made his third wish on his deathbed. He wanted to set me free but it meant that I would either disappear from the face of earth or become mortal. He thought that I was too lovely to die early, so he wished that I would fall into the right hands until I met someone I wanted to grow old with and eventually die together.”
‘Okay, so the great poet was kind after all.’ Harvey admitted with a pout.
“Did Neal Caffrey make all three wishes too?” He had to ask.
“No, he got locked up in prison shortly after his second wish.” Mike said in a sad tone.
“Do you want to grow old with him?” Harvey’s voice was sharp. He had seen the pictures of the criminal so he knew what the gorgeous bastard looked like.
Mike blushed and didn’t answer.
Harvey lifted his eyebrow. “Are you not going to answer your master?”
The words brought out an immediate response. “I’m sorry, master. I’m not sure if I want to grow old with him. He was very caring and knowledgeable, and he used to smile like…”
“That’s enough.” Harvey didn’t want to hear about what Mike thought about his former employer. The past was the past and Harvey preferred to look into the future.
A few moments of awkward silence passed as Harvey tried to calm down. He didn’t know why he was feeling such intense emotions.
Mike noticed it and put his free hand on Harvey’s face. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Harvey forced himself to smile a little as he tightened his grip on Mike’s hand. He wished that Mike was human so he could actually squeeze his hand.
“Do you sleep or eat? Need a shower? What do you do in there?” Harvey gestured at the lamp with his chin.
“It’s not like I actually live in there. The lamp is like the wardrobe in ‘The Chronicles of Narnia’. I have a nice house on the other side of the lamp. I usually read books and play games with neighbors.”
“Interesting.” That was all Harvey could manage. There was only so much crazy information that he could absorb in one night. “So I don’t need to feed you.”
“No, you don’t need to.” Mike chuckled but it didn’t last long and Harvey wanted to hear it again.
“Keep laughing.” He knew how ridiculous he sounded but this whole night was ridiculous anyway.
“Is that a wish?” Mike asked, his hand still in Harvey’s.
“No, it’s not.”
“You liked my laughter.” Mike giggled. “Neal liked it too. He always told me how I should…”
Harvey shut up the pretty creature with a kiss. Apparently, the kid was a little dense. How many times did he have to tell a genie with a perfect memory that he didn’t want to hear about his past?
Harvey pretended that he hadn’t heard the delicious moan that left Mike’s throat and pulled back. “How old are you, Mike?” He hoped that he hadn’t just kissed an underage genie.
Mike chuckled. “I don’t know how old I am, but I’ve been told that I look like a twenty-three year old human.” He chose his words more wisely this time.
Harvey nodded. That seemed about right.
“Twenty-three is way above the age of consent for sex, master.” Mike added with a knowing smile.
Harvey tried not to shudder with pleasure. Mike should really stop calling him ‘master’. “We just met, Mike. I don’t think this is the right subject to talk about.”
“But we kissed, master, twice. And, you’re emitting so much pheromone that I’m starting to feel a little dizzy.”
Harvey had been doing such a great job at keeping his eyes above Mike’s waist but it was getting harder and harder.
“I think it’s time to go to bed, Mike.” He announced and got up from the couch with the lamp in hand.
“Okay. Is there any position you like, master?”
Harvey almost dropped the lamp on the floor. “Mike, quit calling me master.”
“Is that a wish?”
“No, it’s not a wish! And, I mean that it’s time to fall sleep separately.” Harvey emphasized as he headed to the bedroom.
“Oh… Am I not attractive enough for you?” Mike looked a little hurt.
“It’s not that, Mike. You’re very attractive.”
“Then you’re worried that I’m inexperienced? Don’t worry about that. Neal and I…” Mike shut his mouth. He really had to be more careful, but Neal’s name came out automatically because he had been his whole world before Harvey rubbed the lamp tonight.
Harvey didn’t waste his energy yelling at the genie. He rather let out a deep sigh as he walked into the bedroom and put down the lamp on his nightstand. ‘So that felon laid a hand on Mike? Is it even possible to have sex with a genie?’
Harvey gritted his teeth as he asked, “Do you want me to set you free so you can go see that felon in jail?”
Mike shook his head. “You rubbed the lamp and the lamp thought that you were the right master for me, so no. You’re my master now and whatever happened in the past will stay as a memory.”
Harvey liked the answer. He sat down on the bed and pulled the genie into his arms. Mike was soft, warm and smelled a little like fresh grass. Harvey felt himself relax as a puff of wind tickled the back of his neck.
“Do you have a garden in your house?” Harvey asked as he released the genie.
“Yes. How did you know?” Mike looked surprised.
Harvey laughed and pressed a kiss on the genie’s cheek. “Let’s just say that we both know how to pick up some things from each other.”
Feeling sleepy, Harvey took off his T-shirt and sweatpants.
“Um, I think it’s time for me to go home.” Mike said, looking away.
Harvey nodded. He was too tired to tease a genie with a strip show. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“You don’t need to ask me, master. Whenever you want to see me, you just rub the lamp. Good night then.”
“Good night, Mike.”
Harvey watched as Mike turned back into a beam of blue light. “Mike…?”
An ear appeared in the middle of the light.
Harvey chuckled before he spoke in a serious voice. “It was nice meeting you.”
The ear turned into a mouth. “The pleasure was mine, master. Sweet dreams.”
“You too, Mike.”
Harvey fell asleep as soon as Mike completely disappeared into the lamp.