The wicked world above your head (Chapter 4)
Title: The wicked world above your head
Pairings: Novak Djokovic/Ernests Gulbis, Andy Murray/Tim Henman
Rating: PG
Word count: 2,854
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and this is a fiction.
Summary: Tim gets to have dinner with Andy while Novak tries his best to learn more about elves.
Author’s note: The short passage about elves comes from the book “Encyclopedia Mythologica: Fairies and magical creatures” by Matthew Reinhart and Robert Sabuda that I proudly own :) My regular beta-reader is out of town so I asked gordos for help. Thank you so much, sweetie!
From the previous chapter:
Ernests and Novak had enjoyed having dinner at a famous witch restaurant and Andy had secretly followed his friend to his flying lesson only to witness him kiss the elf. He had seen Ernests push a button and the protective film on the carpet had gone white, preventing him from seeing what was happening inside and he had texted Tim for help.
Chapter 4
Buzz.
Tim was in the store, dusting his precious carpets with a duster made of ostrich feathers when he got a text message from his favorite tennis player.
‘Oh, isn’t it cute Andy himself?’
He put down the duster and checked his message in the blink of an eye.
They’re kissing! And the film has gone all white! What does Ernie eat for dinner?
‘Huh?’
He couldn’t figure out why Andy would tell him about Ernests and Novak kissing and why he would ask about what his employee had for dinner.
‘Oh Lord, please tell me he’s not interested in Ernie.’
Tim’s hands shook a little as he texted back to the adorable twenty two year old.
He particularly enjoys elfish pasta and salad for late meals. Why do you ask?
Buzz.
Thankfully, Andy didn’t take much time to give him an answer.
So he wouldn’t eat anything that is about 6’ 2’’, 176lbs with prickles at one end?
Tim blinked a few times, wondering what kind of question this was.
‘How accurate the numbers seem to be when he said about.’
With a puzzled look on his face, the half-witch sent back an answer. Andy surely had a strange way to talk; nobody was perfect after all.
Unless there’s a new species of herb that long and heavy, he wouldn’t. He’s an herbivore.
Meanwhile, in the forest, Andy was chewing on his lower lips, hoping that the protective film would go transparent already or that the carpet would land so he could run and rip it off himself.
‘Let’s think. Did Nole mention that the film was soundproof? If he’s about to get eaten, he’d yell, right? Since I don’t hear any urgent cries, maybe they’re just kissing and he’ll kill me if I interrupt. I probably won’t hear the end of it for the rest of the season, bah.’
Bleep.
Another message arrived from Tim and Andy checked it at the speed of light.
“He’s an herbivore!”
Shouting out in joy and relief, he hurried out of the woods.
‘Great! Now I can worry what I will have for dinner. Gosh, I’m starving.’
He was trotting along the path with a bat in his hand when he heard his cell phone ring. The caller ID told him that it was Tim.
“Hello?” Andy answered, not sure if they had more to talk about.
“Mr. Murray? Good evening. This is Tim.”
“You can call me Andy.” He thought that it was only rational after their rounds of messages.
“Okay. Andy! Since you brought up the word ‘dinner’ in one of the texts, I was wondering if you already had dinner.”
“Not yet. I was just thinking about what I should have.”
“Oh, great! Would you mind if I invite you to dinner then? I was supposed to eat with a friend but she canceled at the last minute and I’d hate to waste the reservation. It’s a really nice restaurant with all the right food. I’m sure you’ll like it!”
“Uh… well…”
Andy wasn’t sure what to say. He had only wanted to ask whether Ernests wanted to eat his friend or not. He had no intention to do anything else with the shopkeeper. It wasn’t like they were friends; he wasn’t even the half-witch’s customer.
“It’s my treat!” Tim announced cheerfully as if money was what bothered the Scot.
Growl.
The painful noise coming from Andy’s stomach made it difficult for him to think clearly.
“Fine. Where should I meet you?”
“Where are you now? I’ll go pick you up.”
“Uh… No offense but I’d rather take a cab than a carpet.”
There was a short pause followed by a light laugher. Perhaps he had misunderstood something.
“Andy, I happen to own two cars. A 1967 Chevrolet Impala and a blue Audi RS4. Which one would you like better?”
‘First he offers to buy me dinner and now he lets me choose a car?’
Feeling awkward at how things were going, Andy still chose a car. He didn’t know how to drive yet - getting driving lessons was the first thing on his agenda after Wimbledon - but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t interested in trying out new cars.
“I’d like to sit in an Audi, please.” He answered politely.
“Very well. Let me know where I can go pick you up.”
In half an hour, Andy found himself sitting across the owner of the carpet store in a fancy restaurant.
‘How exactly did this happen? Ah, it must be his convincing voice again. Did he put a spell on me?’
Andy decided to accept his fate since the place looked stunning. He had never got to hear the restaurant’s name from Novak but he did mention that the elf knew the place from Tim’s recommendation.
‘I’m with Tim now and he didn’t want to cancel the reservation so I guess this might be the same restaurant or something of that kind. I should probably let it go and think of it as having a wild night out.’
The human being looked around for signs of a non familiar world. He remembered how Novak talked about floating receipts, talking potatoes, a fast but nosy waitress witch, and a lovey-dovey corner. Much to his confusion, everything looked pretty human in here; classy interior decoration with nice chandeliers and the waiters and waitresses didn’t look particularly fast.
“Is there a lovey-dovey corner here?”
Andy asked, hoping that he could see one for himself. The Serb had described it rather colorfully and it had strangely been on his mind all day.
“I don’t think so. You like such corners?”
Tim hadn’t really pictured Andy as a romantic type of guy. The Scot seemed to be quite different from what he had expected.
“Me? No! I just wanted to see what they looked like.”
Andy was too hungry to explain how his best friend had told him about a witch restaurant. He almost wished that this was the same restaurant that Novak had gone to; food wasn’t coming out early enough here. Letting out a small sigh, Andy picked up his glass of water and took a few sips.
‘Is this… what did he call it? Angel’s water?’
He took another mouthful of water but he couldn’t feel any difference from what he used to drink.
“Tim, is this water?”
“I suppose so.”
“So this is normal water? The one you usually drink?”
Tim took a good look at the tennis player. He had been acting strange today.
“Is there something wrong with the water?”
“No. Nothing’s wrong. I just… wondered if this was what you drank.”
Tim’s eyes brightened at the possibility of Andy being interested in him. Why would anyone bother to ask about the brand of water that he drank otherwise?
“I enjoy drinking Sierra Springs the most but I’m not too picky.”
Andy nodded, not sure what to say.
“Ah, finally!”
The food had arrived and the human wasted no time to dig into his plate.
After a mouth-watering dinner, Andy was drinking some fine English tea with a pleasant smile on his face.
“So this was a normal restaurant, ahaha.”
Now he could laugh about the misunderstanding. It was wonderful to see how good food could lighten your mood.
“If you’re curious, I could always take you to a witch one someday.”
Tim smiled one of his broad smiles again and opened his briefcase in a hurry.
“Oh, could you please sign something for me? I wanted to ask you when you were at the store but it felt rather unprofessional.”
“Sure.”
Andy watched as Tim produced a tennis ball with a very proud face.
“Can you recognize this ball?”
The half-witch handed over the ball so Andy could take a closer look at it. It looked like any other tennis ball that had probably been used for a few games.
“I’m supposed to recognize this? I could guess that you caught it after a match when I threw it into the stands.”
“Actually, I wasn’t the one who caught it but I let go of a nice carpet to get my hands on this. Dear player, you are looking at the last ball that was used in San Jose final! 2006! Does it ring a bell?”
“The tournament I first won?”
“Precisely!”
Andy laughed a little at Tim’s enthusiasm. He still had no idea how old the half-witch was but he looked excited like a kid.
“I brought a marker. Here.”
The world-class tennis player signed the ball with all sincerity.
Tim beamed. “Thanks!”
“You’re welcome.” Andy was always happy to sign autographs for fans.
‘Ah, tea is so much tastier when you drink it with the right person.’ Tim thought to himself, making sure that his lovely companion wasn’t running out of tea.
“Thanks for inviting me. Everything is great here.” The atmosphere of the restaurant had been growing on the Scot.
“Thanks for dining with me.” Tim responded with a heartful smile.
Andy liked how peaceful Tim looked at the moment. For a split second, he forgot about witches, elves and flying carpets. He enjoyed his tea, the soothing music and Tim.
When Andy came back to the flat, Novak was on the phone, giggling like a hyper schoolgirl.
‘Great. He was probably with him all evening and he has to talk to him again today?’
He didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out that his friend was talking to the elf. If there was anything relieving about the situation, it was the fact that Novak seemed to be having a G-rated conversation. After what he saw in the woods, he knew that things could have been much worse and Novak usually had no problem jumping several steps in a relationship.
‘What is all this?’
Andy put down his bat on the wooden floor and picked up an open book from a pile of books that he had never seen before. The title read ‘Anything and everything you want to know about elves’ from someone named Professor Nikolay Davydenko and the table of contents backed up the title. Apparently, the book gave information starting from the history of elves to how they fit into the modern era.
‘Wow. Where did he get this book? From a bookstore that specializes in fairy books?’
Andy went back to the pages where the book had been open. He could see that Novak had been reading the book very carefully.
Of all the fairy races, elves appear most similar to human beings, both in size and form. Their delicate physiques hide exceptional strength, and unlike mortals, they do not wither or weaken with age. Instead, the years sharpen elven senses intensify their graceful beauty.
A wise and noble people, elves strive to preserve and protect the environment. There are two types of elves, both living in peace with nature: the Elves of Light build within trees, mountains and waterfalls, while the less-known Dark Elves colonize subterranean caves.
Judging from what Novak had underlined, Andy could tell that the elf they knew was an Elf of Light that had come from somewhere near the waterfalls. The Serb had also underlined phrases such as ‘exceptional strength’ and ‘graceful beauty’.
“Oh, my grumpy friend is back home, Ernie. I’m dying to interrogate him and read some more so I hope you sleep tight. Yeah, sweet dreams to you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
After an awful pecking sound, Andy saw Novak hang up the phone and face him. The Serb had a mischievous smile on his face.
“So, my dear friend, where have you been all evening without returning my calls?”
“Calls?”
Andy checked his cell phone and much to his surprise, his friend had indeed called him twice and had left him three messages.
“Sorry. Maybe batteries were low and the vibration wasn’t strong enough.”
“Which vibration?” Novak gave him an innocent look.
“Oh, Nole, please. I was just out for dinner and tea.”
“With whom?”
“With… someone you know so just drop the subject. Where did you get these books from?”
“Ha. Don’t try to change the topic, Andy. I smell something suspicious.”
Novak took a few steps forward and started to sniff around his friend’s shoulders.
“Hey. Cut it out. I just had dinner with a friend of mine, that’s all. Sorry for not returning your calls.”
Andy couldn’t put his fingers on why he was reluctant to give up Tim’s name. It wasn’t like they had been doing something wrong together. It was just a dinner that had started out awkwardly but had ended much better.
“Since when do you use perfume?”
“Perfume? You know I never wear perfume.”
“So you were out on a date with someone who wears it! Give me a name, Andy!”
Novak wrapped his arms around the Scot and sniffed at his hair now.
“What on earth are you doing, Nole? Let go of me!”
“Did you let him kiss you on the head? You did?”
“No. Nobody kissed me anywhere. I wasn’t the one involved in kissing tod…” Andy stopped talking but it was too late.
“How did you know I kissed Ernie?” Novak let go of his friend and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
“I didn’t. I just assumed you would’ve by now.”
“Really? Then why do I feel like you’re lying?”
“Nole, why would I lie to you?”
“I don’t know. It’s a hunch. And you know how I trust my hunches.”
“Fine. I’ll tell you who I was with all evening. I was apparently too busy to conduct an investigation on whether you kissed the elf or not.”
Something told him that it was better to come clean about Tim rather than getting caught for following him to his flying lesson.
“Ernests. He has a name, you know. Or you can call him Ernie. By the way, now that you mention the kiss, I have to tell you that his lips were as soft as flower petals and I…”
“Tim! I was with Tim!”
Andy didn’t need to hear details of Novak’s love life. It had already happened too often in the past and he surely didn’t want to hear more variations of it.
“By Tim, you mean the carpet shop owner Tim?”
Novak’s mouth fell wide open as he sank down on the couch. He hadn’t seen that one coming.
“Uh… Do you really have to look that surprised?”
Andy joined him on the black leather couch, turning on the TV to ease the tension in the living room.
“Duh, yeah! Of course! You were the one who kept lecturing me about how the magical world doesn’t really exist blah blah blah and how Tim had drugged our teas blah blah blah…”
“Alright, alright! I get it. I see your point.”
The Scot spotted some candy on the coffee table and unwrapped them as quickly as possible. He desperately needed something to shut up his friend.
“So amuse me here, Andy. What exactly did Tim… oop…”
Novak’s mouth was stuffed with three candies. After briefly checking that the Serb wasn’t choking, Andy headed towards the bathroom. He knew that it was only matter of time that Novak would finish eating those candies and carry on with his interrogation.
‘We really didn’t do anything. What’s my problem?’
Andy shook his head. Sometimes he couldn’t understand himself.
Knock-knock.
“Nole! I’m taking a shower! Go away!”
“Fine! We’ll talk when you come out then! I’ll be on your bed!”
Andy grabbed the shampoo and tried to think of what he should tell Novak once he stepped out of the showers.
Knock-knock.
“Geez. Can’t you just wait outside?”
“It’s not that! Do you have any more candies?”
A small laughter came from Andy’s part. Novak could act like a kid sometimes.
“Look in the front pocket of my tennis bag!”
“Thanks! I won’t forget this when I load you with questions later!”
“Hahaha…”
Now Andy felt like feeding a whole box of candies to his friend but he decided against it. He didn’t want to lose a nosy best friend. Life would be dull without him.