Adam vs. Adam
Title: Adam vs. Adam
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Tommy Joe Ratliff
Rating: M
Word count: 3,030
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and this is probably a work of fiction.
Warning: happily pervy Tommy
Summary: Adam doesn’t know if he should be delighted or worried at the intimate sight of his boyfriend and his puppet.
Author’s note: Inspired by Adam’s glamorous puppet on Glee.
Adam smiled as he boxed up the last items for charity. He and Tommy had just finished an early spring cleaning.
“Hey, what’s he doing out here? When did he come out of the closet?” Tommy cracked up at his joke as he held up Puppet Adam.
“Oh, I figured he might be better off with Riff. Perhaps he could be Addy.”
“Aww, Riff and Addy. That’s cute. But you know what’s cuter? Tommy and Addy.” Tommy winked.
“Haha, okay. We’ll keep him here then. I didn’t know you had a soft spot for him.” Adam gave him an amused smile.
“He looks like you, duh. Of course I have eyes for him.”
Tommy wrapped his arms around the small, soft creature and pushed his nose in his hair. He smelled a little like Adam, probably because he and Adam had worked closely on set. “So you fisted him, huh? In broad daylight? In public? Should I be jealous? Or was it more like fisting yourself?”
“Oh my god, Tommy Joe. Now I’ll never feel like fisting again!”
“But you love how your big hand totally takes up all the space in my tiny, tiny…” Tommy didn’t get to finish the sentence because of a tongue filling his mouth. Hmm, perhaps Adam could try gagging him next time.
“Hey, baby. I’m home.” Adam took off his boots near the door and looked around for his loved one.
“We’re in here!”
‘We?’ Adam wondered who was keeping Tommy company. He had only been gone for an hour for his private Pilates session.
His question was answered when he reached the living room. He had to hold back a big ‘Aww!’ as he found Tommy with Addy on his lap, his arms curled around the felt waist. When a scream tore through the screen, Tommy covered Addy’s eyes. Then he leaned down to put his ear near Addy’s mouth and looked surprised. “Really? You’re so much braver than Adam.”
Tommy kissed Addy on the forehead while Adam made a sound somewhere between a snort and a laugh. Tommy was holding Addy so preciously that Adam wondered what Tommy would look like with a kid that looked just like him. They had only been together since last summer and hadn’t talked about kids, but his mind was wandering… Who knew? Maybe one day. For now, he was thrilled and grateful that he got to hold Tommy’s heart. He could only hope that if they ever got a kid, he or she would be less of a diva than Addy.
As he made himself a cup of tea and watched from the kitchen, Tommy glanced at him every once in a while and kissed Addy. Adam knew that it was all for him and the tea had nothing to do with his warmed heart.
The pleasant feeling of watching Tommy with Addy turned into something else when he caught the two cuddling in bed. Adam closed the bathroom door behind him, only to meet Addy’s eyes over Tommy’s shoulder. They couldn’t have looked any smugger.
‘Take that, Lambert!’ rang in his ears, but it didn’t make any sense. That had been his voice and those had been his words on set. Besides, it wasn’t like the puppet could feel Tommy’s warmth. Tommy had just fallen asleep with a stuffed diva while waiting for him to come out of the shower. There was no need to be silly.
Adam dried his hair with a towel and put on a pair of briefs. He lifted the covers to slide in behind Tommy when he froze on the spot. Addy was naked. His green skin was taunting him under Tommy’s arms and his clothes were nowhere to be seen. And, if it were possible, Addy looked even smugger. ‘Who’s the real Adam now, huh? Who’s got the pretty kitty?’
Adam gasped. So scandalous! He usually found scandals interesting, but when it came to his boyfriend and another version of him? Hell no!
He got out of bed and marched to the other side. Then he grabbed the puppet’s arm before tearing him out of Tommy’s hug. Tommy let out an unhappy moan, but he couldn’t care less. He threw open the door to the terrace and dumped the puppet on the deck chair. It was almost spring and he was made of felt; he wasn’t going to freeze to death.
Adam came back to bed and peeled off his briefs. If Addy had gone nude, he was going to do the same. Gritting his teeth, he fit himself in Tommy’s arms. He was usually the big spoon, but he was all up for being the small one tonight. As far as he was concerned, Tommy had only one Adam in his life and it was going to be him.
The next morning, Tommy woke up with a huge Adam in his arms. The felt boy had grown overnight, thanks to his magical love. He chuckled at the thought and squeaked when Adam whipped around.
“I’m so glad this is hilarious to you,” Adam sulked.
Tommy’s giggles only got louder. His babyboy was adorable. He hadn’t even known that Adam had a jealous side. Tommy kissed the pouty lips and gave him a big smile.
“What?” There wasn’t as much heat behind the word as Adam would’ve liked. He had been neutralized by Tommy’s kiss.
“You’re too cute to be true. Tell me something. Are you the green boy? And, is that boy out there my Adam who shrank in the cold?”
“No, I’m your Adam!” Adam felt ridiculous.
“Hmm, really? I need proof.” Tommy lifted the sheets and peered down Adam’s body. “Oh, yeah. You’re definitely my Adam. I’d recognize that wood anywhere.”
Adam rolled his eyes but didn’t complain when Tommy wrapped a hand around him. When it was time to come, he was going to scream so loud that the bastard outside would bleed jealousy through his ears.
Days went by as Adam grew more jealous and possessive. It was working well for Tommy who was delighted to have so much sex. He loved to feel Adam pour out his passion for him and there was no need to run to get rid of his beer belly. Then there was the bonus of Adam being too caught up in Tommy’s game to get overstressed about his next album. It was a win-win.
Tommy laughed as he looked in the mirror. There was no mistaking what he and Adam had done last night. His lips were swollen to match Angelina Jolie’s and his chest was peppered with love bites. There were also bruises on each side of his hips that reminded him of the heated memories. And, this had all happened just because he had staged a few scenes with a lifeless puppet.
Adam’s ego was ridiculous. He didn’t feel threatened by any girl or guy, but he went insane over a puppet that looked like him? And, he had the nerve to call Addy the bigger diva! As hilarious as it was, Tommy couldn’t deny that a jealous Adam was hot. Almost all versions of Adam were hot, but this one was fresh and new. So he decided to drive his boyfriend a little bit crazier.
“I’m going to put my whole hand inside him. He’ll have no choice but to take it. Do you think he’ll scream for me?”
“His mouth is so soft and warm, you wouldn’t believe it. Ah, you should see how he opens up for me.”
“You know what we did earlier when you were out? I’d fill you in, but I don’t kiss and tell. It was amazing though. I’ve never felt anything like that before.”
And, every single bait had led to house-shaking, earth-shattering sex. Tommy had been an atheist all his life, but he was starting to think that maybe there was some sort of a God out there.
Adam had just had it. He’d had it! As if Tommy’s dirty words hadn’t been terrible enough, he had come home to find the fucking puppet wearing nothing but Tommy’s Metallica ninja star necklace. He sighed as he sat on the bed and smothered Addy with his pillow. He didn’t even feel any guilt.
He had never thought of himself as a jealous person, but Tommy brought out many different sides of him. He missed having Tommy’s full attention even though it was selfish since he hadn’t been able to give Tommy his full attention. He had been busy with ‘Glee’ and networking parties, not to mention doing a few performances without his band.
That was why he had been pounding into his boyfriend whenever Tommy had seduced him. At this point, they probably had a tighter schedule than those who had sex for a living. Tommy was pushing them both to the limit and he had to put a stop to it before they got addicted.
“Tommy, this is our last round for the week. I have a solution,” Adam announced as he put a sleep shade around Addy’s head. He knew why Tommy had put Addy in the chair next to the bed.
“Ooh, that’s even kinkier. He can’t see anything, but he can hear everything.” Tommy smirked.
Adam shook his head in fond exasperation. “How did I end up with such a kinky boy? You know, my fans warned me about boys like you.”
“You mean, they ship you with boys like me.” Tommy wriggled his eyebrows and grinned. “So what’s the solution? A chastity device? Do I get to pick it? Does it come with a key that you’ll wear around your neck? Will I have to beg on my knees to get you to drop the key?”
“Oh, just stop talking.” Adam pushed his burning face into his hands. How did such a quiet guy like Tommy know how to talk like that? How had he not gotten used to it after being with him for half a year? He wouldn’t have minded Tommy’s eagerness if he wasn’t so close to embarrassing himself in his pants.
“If you don’t want me talking, I can always moan for you.” Tommy winked. He would never get tired of bringing out the beautiful flush on Adam’s face.
“But your moans from lunch are still ringing in my ears!”
“Is that a complaint?”
“No! Of course not! I just… You’ve always… I don’t know anymore, Tommy. I think you broke my brain.” Adam let out a pitiful whimper as he dropped his pants.
“At least I didn’t break your dick.” Tommy licked his lips and crooked his finger.
Adam groaned as he got on the bed. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen first; his dick falling off or Tommy’s ass getting broken. He just hoped that they could find a discrete clinic.
“Hey, how about we mix things up a little?” Adam suggested, trying to save his boyfriend’s ass. “What do you say to intercrural sex?”
Tommy blinked and went stiff. “Adam Mitchel Lambert, do I look like the type of guy who enjoys non-penetrative sex to you?”
“Uh, no…?” Adam winced at the cold look on Tommy’s face. “Can I claim temporary insanity? I did tell you my brain was broken…”
Tommy tapped his chin for a moment. “Hmm, fine. But you’re going to make it up to me. I want a huge hickey on my ass and by huge, I mean huge! As if Addy bit my ass with his big mouth!”
Oh, for Christ’s sake, there was that Addy again. “You want a huge hickey? I’ll give you the biggest hickey in the god damn world. Just don’t whine about it when it never goes away.” Adam got to work, wondering if this was how Tommy’s guitars felt under their owner’s demands.
When Tommy came home from the guitar store, he found a puppet that looked like him sitting on the couch. He was wearing an Adam Lambert T-shirt under the badass black leather jacket.
“Aww, look at you! Aren’t you a hottie?” He held up the puppet for inspection. He had no idea who had made it, but it was solid work. The puppet’s blond head was half-shaved, his ears were pierced, and his lips were pouty and glossy. The best part, however, was the glittery lip print on one side of his neck.
“Hey, baby. I see you’ve already met Tom.” Adam leaned against the wall.
“Tom?” Tommy chuckled. “That’s the best you could come up with?”
Adam shrugged. “You’re already using ‘Tommy’. It was either Tom or Thomas.”
“Fair enough. And, this is supposed to be a hickey from you?” Tommy pointed at the glittery pair of lips.
“Mm-hmm. Do you like it?”
“I love it.” Tommy grinned. “Do you think we could get him a small guitar?”
“I already talked to Fender, baby. He’ll need a guitar to strum his way into Addy’s heart.”
“That’s so romantic, but wait. Are you suggesting that Addy won’t fall for him just for his looks?”
“Addy’s a diva, Tommy. He’d only fall for what he sees in the mirror.”
“Ah, good point. So this was your solution?”
“Yes,” Adam answered sheepishly. “I wanted Addy to focus on someone else, so I could have you back all to myself. I missed you, Tommy Joe.”
Tommy’s heart pounded wildly. He couldn’t reach his man quickly enough to show him how much he loved him.
Things went back to normal and Adam was relieved that his and Tommy’s bodies were intact. The album was coming up nicely and the puppets seemed to be getting along. He had caught Tommy jamming with Tom and it had been the cutest thing to watch. But peace didn’t last long as he had to scream at an unwelcome sight on the couch.
“Oh my god, you guys! Get a room! I have two guestrooms that have perfectly good beds!” Adam threw a cushion over the puppets that were in a 69 position.
“That’s a blatant challenge, don’t you think?” Tommy did his best to look serious from the other couch. “They think they can outsex us, pfft. How dare they!”
Adam would’ve laughed if Tommy hadn’t looked so delicious. But why was he wearing all that makeup at home? And, why did his T-shirt have holes? Was that a nipple peaking out of one of the holes?
Adam drooled and found himself asking, “How’s your ass?”
“Never been better. How’s your dick?”
“Ready to go.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” Tommy jumped up. “Race you to bed!”
Adam grinned mischievously as Tommy ran up the stairs. He took two steps at a time and heard Tommy speed up and scream all the way to the bedroom. He just hoped that his boyfriend didn’t trip over his own feet. It wouldn’t look good if the predator had to put ointment on the prey’s knees.
The next morning, Adam left the bedroom, wearing nothing but Tommy’s Metallica necklace. He was happy and couldn’t stop smiling. His boyfriend wouldn’t be up for a while; he had waved a white flag when the sun had been coming up. He was sure that they had put all competition to rest.
Adam was headed to the stairs when he spotted a tiny black T-shirt. It was Tom’s. A few feet away, he saw Addy’s grey vest and Tom’s jacket. It looked like the puppets hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other.
“Ahahaha…” He laughed all the way downstairs and walked into the kitchen, pressing his lips to the pendant. Tommy would have to fight him to get his necklace back. It could be his lucky charm. He started the coffee machine and thought about last spring when he had really needed a lucky charm. He had felt horrible about not feeling horrible enough about his breakup and his label had stopped supporting his music. But how glittery was this spring? He had Tommy with him and as if that wasn’t wonderful enough, he was also on Glee and had been invited to go on tour with Queen.
As he poured himself a cup of coffee, he realized that he already had a lucky charm. It was Tommy. Tommy was the one who had suggested that they play up their sexual chemistry on stage. It had brought him much-needed attention and fans, and had kept him sane during the tour. When Monte had left, Tommy was there, ready to fill the essential spot. And, now Tommy was here to experience everything with him right by his side.
Feeling a rush of affection, he started making brunch. He would bring Tommy’s brunch to bed and offer him a massage. He wondered if Tommy would like to use his body as a plate. After all, they wouldn’t want the puppets to outkink them.
Bleep.
Adam picked up his phone from the table. He was surprised to see a text from Tommy:
Bring me coffee and a kiss, and I might forgive you for breaking my ass.
Before he could answer, another one came in:
If the coffee’s good, I might even finger you. So get your freckly ass up here.
Adam sent his boyfriend a dozen hearts with a huge smile on his face. Tommy hadn’t questioned the quality of his kisses. He knew that Adam would kiss him just the way he liked it.
Running upstairs with two cups of coffee, he wondered if this was how Tommy’s guitars felt under their owner’s love. But then, he realized that Tommy loved him the most. So if it seemed like he was running faster, that was because he couldn’t reach his man quickly enough to show him how much he loved him.