A romantic confession
Title: A romantic confession
Pairing: Harvey Specter/Mike Ross
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 3,985
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.
Warning: none
Summary: Mike decides to listen to Harvey for once and gets his shit together. Unfortunately, that includes telling his boss how he feels about him so that he could focus on his job. And, just like all the other things in his life, it goes splendidly well.
Author’s note: Inspired by the scene where Mike visits Harvey’s place (yet again) in 212.
Mike looked at the red roses that were getting wrapped in pretty paper. He never got to buy flowers since he had broken up with Jenny. She had loved them and had made him want to buy her the whole flower shop, but he didn’t think that Harvey would show a similar reaction. He had to try though, if just to sleep better at night.
“Why the sad face, young man?”
He gave the old lady a small smile. “Do you think you can sprinkle a little magic on top? I really need this to work.”
“Flowers already have magic, my dear. Not that people seem to know it these days. Whatever the problem is, I’m sure these roses will work. If not, come back for a second bouquet. I’ll give you the friends and family discount.”
Mike’s smile grew bigger as he was reminded of his late grandmother. She had never been one to turn down those friends and family discounts.
“Now that’s a nice smile. You put that smile on your face and you’ll be fine. Here you go.”
Mike thanked her and left the flower shop. He tried to put some enthusiasm into his steps, but it was difficult with the alcohol in his system and the fear of getting turned down. He knew that he shouldn’t bother his boss outside business hours, especially when he was upset with him. But Harvey wanted him to get his shit together, and this was him getting his shit together.
‘Is your life better or worse than before I hired you?’
Mike laughed at his idiotic answer; he had dared to say that it was both. And, now Harvey was going to think that he had hired the most ungrateful bastard ever. But what his boss failed to understand was that there was only a ‘worse’ part because he had fallen in love with him.
He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t pretend that they were just close coworkers. Harvey was too beautiful and he was too exhausted. It was a miracle that he had lasted so long when every time he saw his boss, all he wanted to do was kiss the life out of him. And, every morning he had to steady himself outside the office so that he wouldn’t do just that.
The only reason that he had gotten involved with girls was because he couldn’t have the man that he wanted. Rachel was the farthest person from Harvey in terms of appearance and personality, and the affair with Tess had proved that it was easier to sleep with a married person than with a single one if the latter was Harvey Specter.
He had wondered if it was possible for Harvey to have feelings for him. There were moments when he thought that he had caught his boss staring at him, but Harvey had the best poker face that he had ever seen. Perhaps he was interested but wasn’t willing to put their working relationship at risk. Or perhaps he just wasn’t that into him. And, as time passed, he had become more and more convinced that it was the latter. Why else would he stay quiet for so long?
‘The next time I have an option to cross the line to save you, I’ll send you packing and not think twice.’
No matter how many times he replayed the words in his head, he couldn’t get used to their sharp edges digging into his chest. Harvey was willing to kick him out of his life and never look back, rightfully so. He had hoped that it would hurt less with every replay but the pain never dulled. In fact, it became more and more suffocating to think that he had screwed up big enough to push Harvey into such a state of mind.
‘Your job is to help me, not to screw me.’
On a good day, he could’ve told Harvey that he would like to do both. But it hadn’t been that kind of a day and he didn’t want to confess his love through a joke. Inappropriate or not, unrequited or not, his feelings were serious and deserved to be cherished.
Waving a hand at Harvey’s doorman, Mike headed for the elevators with a thumping heart. What would Harvey say to him? Would he label his latest course of action as ‘not getting your shit together’ again? But it needed to be done. His feelings for his boss were getting in the way and compromising his work. Being in love was messing with his hormones and he wanted Harvey to know why he had been so emotional lately. He might not fully understand but he needed to know what was going on with him.
Ding.
Mike walked out of the elevator and braced himself for the worst. There had been several incidents that had made him feel like he was living the worst moments of his life; his parents’ death, getting kicked out of school, almost getting busted for drug dealing, and his grandmother’s death. But they weren’t a match to what he was going through right now. He had already lost his parents and grandmother; there was nothing that he could do about it and it hadn’t been his fault. But he was about to lose Harvey who had saved him so many times that even his genius brain had lost count, and this time, it was entirely his fault.
Knock-knock-knock.
Mike stared at his boss’ door as if it was the gateway to Hell. There was a perfectly functioning doorbell but he didn’t think that he deserved to use it when he was about to impose yet another burden on Harvey’s shoulders. Besides, if he was completely honest with himself, a small part of him didn’t want Harvey to hear the knock so that he could change his mind and go back home.
But the door swung open in a matter of seconds and he was soon facing the unforgettable face. Mike smiled nervously as he hid the roses behind his back. He was getting cold feet.
“Mike.” His boss didn’t sound surprised. Had he showed up at his door a little too often these days? “If you’re here to give me your letter of resignation, I’ll accept it in the morning.”
Mike gathered the courage to engage in banter. That would surely loosen him up. “Oh, that’s ironic. I was offered a job tonight.”
“Congratulations.” Harvey’s face said anything but congratulations.
“I passed.”
“You want credit for that?”
“No, I want to do the job I already have.”
There was a pause but not for long. “Apology accepted.”
“Really…? Just like that? No spanking or any other punishment you deem appropriate?” He held out the roses with both hands. “I even got you these! Katrina said you couldn’t impress a lawyer like Harvey Specter with flowers. I wanted to prove her wrong.”
Mike swallowed hard as Harvey took the roses, brushing his hands along the way.
“You got me flowers just to prove her wrong? At least you got the right ones.” Harvey buried his nose in the bouquet.
“Uh, no. I need to tell you something too.” Mike wondered what his boss meant by getting the right flowers. Was Harvey a big fan of roses? Or did he appreciate the quality of the flowers? Or both?
“Come in then. I’d offer you a drink but it looks like you already had a few. Let me get you a glass of water.”
“Okay, thanks.” Mike closed the door and waited on the couch. He tried to rehearse what he was going to say but it was difficult when everything around him smelled like Harvey.
“So what did you want to tell me?” Harvey returned with a small tray and the bouquet.
“There’s something you need to know.” Mike drank the water to soothe his dry throat. He could do this.
“Oh no. What did you do this time?” Harvey gripped the flowers on his lap as he took a sip of Scotch.
“I didn’t do anything! I swear, Harvey, it wasn’t my fault. It’s more like yours actually…” Mike winced as he realized that blaming the object of your love wasn’t the best way to go about confessing your love for him.
“Me? What did I do?”
“Harvey, I would’ve spared you all this if I could, but it’s been interfering with my job and I can’t hide it anymore. There’s a good reason why I can’t focus and why my emotions have been all over the place… well, more than usual. And, before I begin, I want to tell you that I trust you with this information. I don’t want anyone else to know, not even Donna.”
He gave a fond, wistful look at his boss who seemed to be paying great attention to his words. “I trust you implicitly, Harvey. If there was a medical decision to be made, you’d be the only person I’d trust. Well, I don’t have anyone else but even before I lost Grammy or Trevor or Jenny, it’s always been you. You wouldn’t be swayed by emotions and you’d know what’s best for me.”
Harvey clutched the roses until a thorn cut into his palm. “Mike, are you dying?”
Mike blinked in horror. “What?! No, I’m not dying! Where did you get that idea?”
“Then is it treatable?”
“What…?”
“Let me guess. Brain tumor caused by excessive stress. And, I suppose that’s why you’re blaming me.”
“No! As far as I know, I’m perfectly healthy!”
“Then why the hell did you talk about medical decisions?!”
“To show you that I trust you! Why are you yelling?”
Mike waited until his boss took a few more sips and calmed down. It was heartwarming that Harvey had been so worried about his health, but seriously, he thought that he was dying? Well, in a way, maybe he was. “So I wanted to tell you that this hasn’t happened to me in a long time and I’ve never been good at this. I did read relevant books and articles of course, but there’s only so much room for theories. Oh, and I’ll understand if you’re not willing to… or incapable of… um… Harvey, do you think you could put down those flowers? It’s kind of distracting.”
Harvey snorted. “You wanted me to have the flowers and now you want to take them away?”
“I’m not taking them away. I just think they’d look nice on the coffee table. There you go…” Mike gently pulled the bouquet out of Harvey’s grip. “Uh… where was I?”
“You were blaming me.”
“No, after that. And, wait… is that blood on your hand?”
Harvey looked down at his right palm. He hadn’t even noticed it.
“Where’s the first-aid kit?” Mike sprang up from the couch.
“It’s just a scratch, Mike. I’ll live. Now carry on with your gibberish. I’d like to get some sleep at some point during the night.”
“Harvey! I trust you with my whole body and you can’t even trust me with your hand? And, it’s your right hand! And, I’m your right hand. So shouldn’t you trust your right hand with your right hand so I can fix your right hand?” Okay, perhaps he should’ve had one less drink with Jimmy.
Harvey didn’t bother to comment and pointed at his bedroom. “Under the bed.”
“You keep the first-aid kit under the bed? Then where’s the porn?”
“I’m not a teenage boy, Mike. I don’t need to hide it.”
“Wait, the more important question is: what usually happens on your bed?” Mike hadn’t really thought about having kinky hardcore sex with his boss. But he supposed that gorgeous guys like Harvey were like roses and had their fair share of thorns.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Harvey smirked. “I’m not one to kiss and tell, so there’s only one way to find out.”
Mike gulped loudly and rushed to Harvey’s bedroom. He had stolen a few peeks before but hadn’t had a chance to set foot in the room. This was unchartered territory and he was absolutely thrilled. His first stop was naturally the nightstand. He had to know if his boss was as well-endowed as he pretended to be. He opened the top drawer stealthily and picked up one of the condom boxes. This was the moment of truth.
He barely managed to stifle a gasp when he noticed that they were for the smallest men. So all that cocksure attitude was a bluff? He picked up another box, refusing to believe the utter cruelty of the situation. Ah, not much better but they were for little less small men. He checked a couple of other boxes before realizing what was going on. Harvey had simply lined up all the conventional sizes in order.
“Do you think I sleep on the nightstand?”
Mike jumped at the voice coming from the doorway. He hadn’t heard any footsteps.
“You could’ve just asked if you needed condoms.”
“I don’t need any condoms! Or… maybe I do. I’m not sure yet.” Mike didn’t want Harvey to think that he had been violating his privacy for no good reason even though that was exactly what he had been doing. Also, he’d like to think that he might get a chance to use a condom tonight if: a) his confession went well, b) Harvey reciprocated his feelings, and c) he was allowed to top. But that was a lot of ‘if’s and was his confession going well? Had he even started?
“Take a few then. I wouldn’t want you to get antsy at work because you couldn’t get laid.”
Aware of his boss’ eyes on him, Mike boldly took a couple of condoms that were one size bigger than what he usually went for.
“Mike, it’s no use if they don’t fit you well,” Harvey spoke slowly as if he was dealing with a teenage boy.
“Who says these won’t fit?” Mike held his chin up high but soon caved in when it was clear that Harvey didn’t buy his bluffing. “Fine. But these are going to be a little tight,” He muttered as he picked up the right size.
“Are you sure those are the right ones?” Harvey didn’t look convinced.
“Yes, I’m sure, Harvey. I think I know what size I am.”
“If you say so.” Harvey shrugged and watched his associate close the drawer and head towards him. “You’re not getting the first-aid kit?”
“Oh, right, the kit…” Mike cursed inwardly as he heard a chuckle. Perhaps he could apply extra pressure while treating his boss’ hand.
But of course, he didn’t have the heart to do so when he was presented with the shallow cut on Harvey’s palm. He disinfected the wound with the utmost care and tried not to pay too much attention to how their knees were in direct contact.
“So can we finally talk about what you wanted to tell me?”
Mike envied how relaxed Harvey looked while his stomach was doing somersaults. “Do you think you can stay quiet until I’m done here?” He was getting unsure of how to get his message delivered. He needed time to think.
Harvey laughed and sat quietly, drinking his Scotch and observing his associate.
“Can you close your eyes too?”
“Mike.”
“Okay, fine. You can look at the ceiling.”
“This is ridiculous. What’s this about? Just spit it out, Mike. There are very few things you could say to surprise me.”
“Wow, that’s very encouraging.” Mike finished taking care of Harvey’s hand.
“I know. And, try not to surprise me. You know how I feel about surprises.”
“That, I do. So uh, how do you feel about Zoey Lawford? Is she full of surprises?”
Harvey shook his head. “You can’t be serious. You want to ask that now?”
Mike nodded weakly, putting some distance between their knees.
“Look, the only reason I tried to spend some time with her was because the one I really care about has been taking far too long to step up to the plate.”
Mike didn’t bother to hide his surprise. Harvey already had someone in mind? How did he not see this coming?
“Who?” He squeaked in despair. “Donna??”
Harvey let out a sigh. “Really? You think it’s Donna?”
“I don’t know! That’s why I’m asking! Or is it Rachel…?”
Harvey got up from the couch and grabbed Mike’s arm. “Get out.”
“What? You’re kicking me out in the middle of the conversation?” Mike struggled not to get dragged to the door. “Is it Jessica? Please don’t tell me it’s Norma!”
“What makes you think it’s a woman?” Harvey opened the door with one hand.
“Oh, right, the condoms. Is it Louis? You don’t have much interaction with guys!”
Mike knew that he would get thrown out with his latest guess and he was right. He was harshly pushed out the door before he could grasp at Harvey’s sleeves. “But I got you flowers!”
“I think you already used that line.”
The door was closing in his face.
“But I love you!! I got you red roses because I love you!”
The words were finally out of his chest, echoing in the hall, but the door had already been closed. Mike looked down at his shoes, feeling sad that his grand confession had come to a lousy end. Why hadn’t he had the sense to prepare better? He had waited this long, so what more was another night? He had felt like it was the right time to do it, but he should’ve put more thought into it. Apparently you needed more than a willing heart to get it right.
“You do realize that must be one of the least romantic confessions out there.”
Mike’s eyes shot up and met Harvey’s. His boss didn’t look surprised, much to his surprise. “But it came with flowers…”
Harvey chuckled and pulled his associate inside by the front of his shirt. “The feeling’s mutual.”
Mike found his back to the door that was now closed but he found it difficult to stand straight. “Are we talking about the same feelings here?”
“Why else did you think I went to great lengths to save you, Mike? Putting my own career on the line? Time and time again?”
“Because I’m a great associate?”
“No, you’re a terrible associate. You only listen to your boss when you please. But I figured you’d make a much better puppy with proper training.”
“Oh my god… Why didn’t you say something? You could’ve at least given me a hint! So I slept with a married woman for nothing?”
“You did what?”
Mike stood right in front of the door handle in case Harvey wanted to throw him out again. “It was stupid and it’s over. And, I didn’t break any kid’s heart!”
Mike watched in panic as the sense of defeat and frustration settled on his boss’ face. Had he blown it? Was it over before it had even started?
“Remind me to tell Donna that she should aim a little higher next time.” Harvey turned around and walked back further into the apartment, leaving Mike completely confused.
“Are you saying Donna had something to do with this? Remind me to shower her with coffee and ice cream every single day!”
“You know how she calls you at your cubicle and instructs you to do those little yoga moves?” Harvey explained once Mike was back on the couch.
“Yeah. I think it’s really sweet that she looks out for my health.” Mike was grateful for the daily exercise.
“Well, have you ever noticed how I show up when you’re in the middle of those obscene exercises?”
“But you come to see me all the time!” Mike hit his forehead with his palm. “Oh my god… that should’ve been a hint! Did I honestly believe you came to check on my work so often?”
Harvey patted him on the cheek with a teasing voice. “You may have been overwhelmed by the idea of me taking a personal interest in you.”
“Oh yeah? After spending almost a year with you?” Mike grabbed the hand that was still on his face. He could see Harvey’s eyes light up at his challenging tone.
“I need new tactics if you don’t feel overwhelmed anymore.” Harvey used his free hand to pull Mike close by his waist.
“Hmm, I don’t know, Harvey. The proximity’s kind of nice but I think you’ll have to do a little more than that,” Mike teased despite the maddening throbbing of his heart.
“How about this then?” Harvey tilted his head and gave Mike a soft, lingering kiss.
“Hmm… Nah, I think I liked it better out in the hall.” Mike pretended to turn around but Harvey used both hands to secure him in place before kissing him again.
Mike quickly gave up all pretenses and wrapped his arms around Harvey’s neck. The experience was definitely overwhelming, but he felt brave with Harvey’s body solid and stable against his own. He poured more and more love into the kiss and felt Harvey press him against the door. That was when he remembered something important. “Harvey?”
“Hmm?” Harvey’s lips moved to Mike’s neck.
“Do you really think I’m a terrible associate?”
“I stand by my assessment, but feel free to change my mind any time.”
“I have credible information that Clark and Owens have been talking to the partners at Bratton Gould.”
“Who’s Clark and Owens?”
“My fellow associates.”
Harvey pulled back with a sharp stare. “You’re telling me that another firm’s poaching our associates and you’re telling me this now?”
“I was going to tell you right after my grand confession! It’s just that it took so long…”
Harvey shook his head and turned around. “I’ll have to make a call so we can handle this first thing in the morning.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll see you in the morning.” Mike straightened his shirt and shouldered his messenger bag, trying to hide his disappointment.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Harvey asked as he picked up the phone.
“Back home…?” Mike’s hand rested awkwardly on the door handle.
“No, you’re not. When I’m done with Jessica, I want to see you sitting prettily on the bed.”
“Harvey! Don’t you have any dignity? We didn’t even have dinner together.” Mike did his best not to look too gleeful and refused to think about the condoms in his pocket.
“We’ve already had plenty of dinners, Mike. And, I’m not sure if two people could have any more foreplay than us, so let’s try this again. Where do you think you’re going?”
“Ah, I think I’m going to your bedroom… to sit prettily on your bed.”
Harvey nodded in satisfaction. “That’s a good basset hound.”
“A basset hound??” Mike was shocked. “But I have long legs! And, don’t tell me I have such long ears and sad eyes! Wait… So all this time when you called me ‘puppy’, you were thinking of a basset hound? I was hoping for a Siberian husky or something.”
He knew that he wouldn’t get a response when Harvey started speaking into the phone. But it was okay. He had all night to show his boss just how long his legs were and just how delighted his eyes could be. Harvey was more into showing than talking after all.