Title: Mr. Harvey J. Specter
Pairing: Harvey Specter/Mike Ross
Other characters: Rachel Zane, Kyle Durant, Donna Paulsen, Louis Litt
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 5,295
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.
Warning: angst
Summary: Harvey isn’t happy at all with Mike dating someone else under his nose.
Author's note: I'm so sorry for the late update! Writer's block and overworking is a deadly combo! D:
Previously in ‘Mr. Harvey J. Specter’…
After collapsing with shock from spotting a familiar silver watch on Kyle’s wrist, Mike had taken a nap in Harvey’s office with Donna’s help. He had had a wet dream about Harvey and Rachel fighting for his attention on a Japanese game show and had ended up crying out Harvey’s name. Feeling guilty and embarrassed, he had been forced to think about the meaning of the dream. Kyle had told Mike that he was scheduled to have dinner with Harvey the next day, around the time when Harvey usually helped Mike with his tennis practice. So Mike had confronted Harvey, only to find out that his boss wasn’t going to coach him anymore. Feeling angry and betrayed at Harvey’s request to fetch him Kyle and pull down the blinds, he had yelled at his boss to do it himself and had walked away, not aware that it was all part of Harvey’s plan.
Mike stomped towards his cubicle as he took a good look at Kyle. The bastard appeared to be very busy with work. He had the phone cradled between his ear and shoulder while he typed something into his computer in a hurry.
‘Good.’ Since Kyle’s line was busy, Harvey or Donna wouldn’t be able to summon him. There was no way he was going to tell the bastard that he was needed in the senior partner’s office so Harvey would have to come down here or take care of his needs on his own. As he sat down on his seat, Mike glanced towards the direction of Harvey’s office to check that his boss wasn’t actually on his way.
‘Perhaps he’ll get Donna to drag Kyle into his office. Or she will grab a lowly associate to do the dirty work for her. But even if Harvey’s doing this just to hurt me back, can’t he wait until they have dinner? Or is he going to toss him away once he’s had his fun? Maybe there won’t be a dinner tomorrow. But he gave him that watch! I know how much that watch costs, and I really don’t think Kyle’s mouth or ass will be worth that much!’ Mike pondered while keeping an eye on the bastard. Judging by the look of annoyance on his face, it looked like things weren’t going too well for him.
‘Great!’ Mike rejoiced from the bottom of his heart. He hoped that Kyle’s situation was bad enough to take away all his sexual appetite. He couldn’t really picture someone classy like Harvey sharing intimate moments with someone unclassy like Kyle and he preferred to keep things that way. That was when Kyle put down the phone and leaned closer to his computer screen. The line wasn’t busy anymore.
‘Oh no.’ Mike quickly picked up his phone and called Kyle’s extension. Who knew that the trick to hide the caller ID would come in so handy? It was useful to hang out with Benjamin from the IT department.
“Durant.” Kyle answered the phone.
Mike thought about breathing hard into the phone to eradicate all sexual thoughts from Kyle’s brain but there was a chance that his plan could backfire; Kyle might be the type to enjoy a stranger’s heavy breathing on the phone.
In the meantime, Kyle had hung up. The connection seemed to be bad so it would be better if the caller tried again. So, to not disappoint his coworker, Mike dialed again. He didn’t have a specific plan and he knew that Kyle could always choose to take the incoming call instead but he had to do something. Even a futile effort was better than no effort at all.
“This is Durant speaking.” Kyle hoped that he would get an answer this time. He was completely overwhelmed with work and he didn’t have a single second to waste. “Hello? Can you hear me? Jesus, what’s wrong with this call. Hello?”
Kyle slammed the phone on his desk and Mike had to jump a little. It was gratifying to see him so irritated but perhaps it was time to stop this childish prank. He had slacked off more than enough and he was lucky that the pile of briefs on his desk looked very manageable.
‘Wait. Exactly how much work went to Gregory?’ Mike remembered how Donna had told him that she had kindly taken some work off his shoulders. ‘Did she give some to Kyle too? Is that why he’s so busy?’
Mike hoped that none of his work had gone to Kyle. He didn’t want to give him another reason to look good in Harvey’s eyes. So he got up and walked straight to Kyle’s cubicle which was right across his own. “Hey, if there’s anything on your desk that belongs to me, I’d like it back.”
Kyle looked up and snorted. “Not going to happen, Ross. This is my chance to impress Harvey. I’m going to do whatever it takes even if it means spending the whole night here.”
Mike frowned. “Did you snatch the files from Gregory? Donna told me she had left them with him.”
“Who said anything about Gregory or Donna? Harvey came over personally and gave me all these high-priority files.” Kyle pointed at the files as if they were trophies.
Mike was confused. It didn’t seem like Kyle was lying, so did Harvey really give this much of his work to someone else? Did he think that he couldn’t handle it? More importantly, did he trust Kyle to get it done?
“Look, you can go drown in your misery at your own desk. Some people actually take their jobs seriously and have work to do. Bye, Ross.” Kyle waved off his rival but Mike wasn’t going anywhere until he got his work back.
R-ring.
Mike gasped as his heart started to beat faster. He had a feeling that this was the call. Kyle didn’t understand the significance of it but he did. So before Kyle could pick it up, he leapt forward and snatched the phone. “Hello.”
“Hey! Give me that!” Kyle got up and tried to take the phone but Mike took a big step back. “Hello?”
“Mike?” Harvey sounded puzzled. “What are you doing with Durant’s phone?”
By then, Kyle had won the tug of war and Mike didn’t get a chance to answer. “Sorry, this is Kyle Durant. You wanted to talk to me?” He glared at the rude disturber.
Mike watched with his arms crossed as the bastard recognized Harvey’s voice and told him that he was on his way. Kyle’s face or tone hadn’t changed so Mike assumed that Harvey hadn’t told him what he needed the bastard for.
“Get out of the way, Ross. Stopping me from going to see Harvey won’t change his mind. He’s found a shiny, new associate now. Me.” Kyle boasted as he pushed Mike out of his way.
“It’s not your brain he wants, Kyle. It must be that mouth of yours which never shuts itself.” Mike spat out. Kyle was bringing out the worst of him.
“Well, I speak more like a lawyer than you do so it’s not that surprising, really.” Kyle obviously didn’t understand what Mike was saying. Realizing that he was keeping a senior partner waiting, he took a step forward before tripping over Mike’s foot and almost falling flat on his face.
Mike couldn’t help but giggle. It was a shame that he didn’t fall and hurt his mouth.
“Really? Grow up, Ross. How pathetic.” Kyle regained his balance and hurried towards Harvey’s office until he noticed that Mike was following him.
“Where are you going?” He couldn’t believe that Mike had the audacity to bother him at every opportunity.
“To Harvey’s office.”
“No. I’m the one who’s going to Harvey’s office.”
“Well, I’m going there too.”
“But he wanted to see me, not you. You can beg him after I’m done with him. Not that he’d give you a second chance.”
Mike snorted and led the way. He didn’t know what to do but he knew that he had to stop the disaster at all costs.
“Hey! I don’t know what you’re trying to…” Kyle stopped talking as the door to Harvey’s office flew open and an annoyed Harvey stepped outside.
“Mr. Durant, when I tell you to come see me, I expect to see you right away. Do I need an appointment for that?”
“No, sir, of course not. It’s just that Ross was…”
“Are you blaming someone else for your own inability? ‘Cause I don’t need a man who can’t take responsibility for his actions.”
“I apologize, Mr. Specter. I take full responsibility.” Kyle wanted to shoot a death glare towards Mike’s direction but he could do that later.
“Very well. Now get inside and take a look at the file on the coffee table. I believe you need far more time to read than my associate.”
Kyle reluctantly admitted it and went inside the office while Mike enjoyed a muffled laugh. He loved that Harvey had been hard on Kyle. Perhaps it really was one-time fun despite the original significance of the silver watch.
“What do you want, Mike?”
Mike was startled to hear the same harsh tone directed at him. His boss seemed to be in a terrible mood. “Uh, I want to talk you out of it.”
“Talk me out of what?”
“Spending time with him.” Mike pointed at the office with as much disgust as possible.
“And, this is your business how? I don’t like you spending time with that paralegal but you keep doing it anyway.”
Mike had opened his mouth to defend himself but decided to plead with his eyes instead. He wasn’t going to beat his mentor with words, not yet. So he tried to convince Harvey that Kyle wasn’t worth his attention and that there was no point in hooking up with such a lowly life form just to get back at him. He couldn’t tell if he was begging as a caring friend or a love interest that was holding onto the last shred of hope.
Harvey let out a long sigh as he read the thoughts and emotions pass through Mike’s eyes. He wanted to end this madness and hold his boy in his arms. He wanted to tell him how much he enjoyed looking into those beautiful eyes and how he wanted to keep them clear for as long as possible.
“Tell me you choose me.” He didn’t want to wait until next week to secure Mike’s heart. It was getting too difficult to stay patient.
“What…?” Mike looked around to see if anyone was within earshot. Thankfully, Donna wasn’t at her desk and the hallway was empty.
“Whatever we did in your dream, we can do it better in reality.”
Mike turned crimson as scenes from his wet dream came rushing into his mind. So Harvey had heard him cry out his name. This was embarrassing.
“Well, if you don’t have anything to say…” Harvey turned on his heels.
“Wait! I haven’t had the time to think it through! I don’t know what that dream means, Harvey. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“You don’t know what you’re supposed to do? I just told you what to do. Leave her, Mike. I don’t know what you’re trying to prove here. I don’t see the point of you fighting me when we both know how this is going to end. You’re going to come to me one way or another.” Harvey couldn’t believe that they were doing this again. What was his puppy so scared of? The Mike that he knew was braver and smarter than this. How much heartache was he willing to go through before he made the right choice?
Mike admired Harvey’s confidence more than ever. He would never stop loving that side of him. What if Harvey was right? What if he had made the wrong choice before? Between a man who wasn’t certain about his decision and a man who looked absolutely certain that it was the wrong decision, who had the higher chance of being right?
Then Mike saw Rachel’s face in his mind. What was he doing? Was he really thinking about blowing his relationship with her just because he had a dream? Did he believe in the power of subconscious that much? Harvey must have seen the indecision on his face because he faced his office again and opened the door.
“Harvey, wait! Please!” Mike wanted to reach out and grab Harvey’s hand but Kyle was staring at them with curious eyes. Before he could say another word, Harvey was already on the other side of the door.
“No, Harvey… Wait.”
Then he started to yell at the man who was getting farther and farther away. “Harvey, please! I’m planning to think hard tonight! Right after I finish work! I can’t do it right now in the middle of the hallway!”
But all Mike got as a response was a disappointed look on the handsome yet tired face. And, soon all he could see was the blinds shutting him out of Harvey’s world. He had missed his chance and Harvey was gone.
Harvey felt empty as he explained the pro bono case to Kyle. He had turned off the air conditioner and had made the associate run in place. He had to make things look believable for Mike. He felt as if he had scorched his boy’s heart but there was nothing he could do about it for now. He needed this plan to work and he couldn’t show any signs of weakness. He had to be strong for both of them.
He was perfectly aware that his approach wasn’t conventional but he couldn’t take the usual road when his situation wasn’t usual. Mike had already been emotionally invested in someone else by the time he had figured out that he wanted him. Harvey was also aware of the risks. If he had misread Mike, this plan could send him flying back firmly into the paralegal’s arms. He would have to tell the truth at the earliest convenience before Mike got a scar on his heart.
“That’s enough.” Harvey motioned for Kyle to stop running. “Now, I need to know if you can keep your mouth shut. I don’t want you to tell Ross, for a start. He’s obsessed with pro bonos and I don’t want to deal with an associate who refuses to share decent cases.”
Kyle smiled like a little shark. “No need to worry, sir. My lips are sealed.”
“Good. Then rub those lips against the back of your hand.”
Kyle blinked his eyes in confusion. “Excuse me, sir?”
“Do you have trouble following orders, Mr. Durant? I don’t like to repeat myself.”
“Of course not. Rubbing them right away, sir.” Kyle decided that it must be some kind of a hazing and started to rub his lips.
“Let me know when they feel sore. And, perhaps you should run again now that you’ve got some rest.”
“Yes, Mr. Specter.” Kyle figured that it was a test. Harvey would obviously prefer an associate who was healthy enough to handle his job to an associate who had apparently fainted like a girl.
Harvey dealt with some paperwork while Kyle felt a little stupid, running and rubbing his lips at the same time. But he remained silent as he pictured beating Harvey Specter and taking the title of ‘the best closer of the city’. One day, he could put this anecdote in his best-selling autobiography.
“Uh, it’s a little sore, sir.” Kyle wondered if he had spoken too soon.
Harvey gave him a once-over and noticed that something was missing. “Muss up your hair and get back to work.”
Kyle finished his strange mission and picked up the pro bono case. He might not be allowed to talk to Mike about it but he could certainly gloat about it. And, that’s exactly what he did as he returned to his cubicle.
‘Oh my god…’ Mike’s jaw dropped as he stared at Kyle’s appearance. The bastard had a glow to his cheeks and his lips were red and swollen. Mike swallowed hard as he tried to tear his eyes away but he couldn’t stop staring. He hadn’t thought that Harvey would actually go through with it. Technically, it wasn’t any of his business what his boss did in his own office but he felt crushed and betrayed. He had begged the man to think twice but Harvey hadn’t changed his mind.
‘Did he really run his hands through that oily hair…? I can’t believe this.’ Mike felt sick just by thinking about it. He knew better than anyone how often he had left his desk today but he couldn’t help it. He had to get to the men’s room immediately.
Mike went straight to the sink and turned on the water. He didn’t care if he was getting wet. He needed the ice-cold water to penetrate his brain and turn off all the emotion sensors. He had been experiencing too much intense emotion in a single day and the day hadn’t even ended yet.
‘How could you do that? How could you, Harvey… How could you do that to me?’ Mike knew that he had no right to criticize Harvey’s actions. Harvey had given him a fair chance but he had turned it down. He was the one who had returned the silver watch. Besides, Harvey had even asked him to choose him before shutting the door to his office. As far as Harvey was concerned, he must have gotten enough chances.
Mike splashed more water on his face. He couldn’t tell if it was water or tears streaming down his face. At least he could tell that the water temperature was right. He was shivering uncontrollably.
‘I want him. I want him to touch me.’ Mike was reminded of how Harvey’s hand had felt on his own while they were on that business trip. Even that simple hand-to-hand contact had had an incredible effect on him. He couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to be tightly wrapped in Harvey’s arms or get affectionate caresses all over his body.
‘I need that touch. I need it now!’ He couldn’t stand the thought of Harvey giving any kind of personal attention to Kyle. He didn’t want to picture Harvey grabbing Kyle’s hair while pushing into his mouth. He didn’t want to think that he had rewarded the bastard and had called him a good boy. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Kyle now knew details of Harvey that he didn’t know and might never even get a chance to know.
Mike gripped the edge of the sink and tried to control his shivers. He didn’t like this. It was all wrong. Nothing made any sense and everything felt unreal. Kyle didn’t belong to Harvey. He did. He should have been the one on his knees, worshipping his mentor as always. He should have been the one that had gotten patted on the head. Kyle had no place between Harvey and him. He had no right to mess with his Harvey. Whatever was going on between him and Rachel, Mike had never felt such a burning desire to connect with her. It wasn’t about lust. It was about the fundamental need to make sense of the world through Harvey’s touches.
There was no doubt that jealousy was playing a big part here but he felt like it was only acting as a conduit. This was bigger than one incident of Harvey sticking it in the wrong place. It was also bigger than craving and monopolizing Harvey’s attention. He needed Harvey in a way that he needed another human being in his world; a man that he could hold onto as he braved through life, a man who could be the guide stars in the night sky and the warm sunshine in the day sky. And, when he needed protection, that man would be the thunder, lightening, and strong wind in the stormy sky.
Rachel was a spring girl while Harvey was a fall guy. Mike realized that even though he had always enjoyed both seasons, he was leaning more and more towards fall with every new year under his belt. There was something soothing about the world preparing for the harshest season. Perhaps it was because his life had been more about dodging bullets than asking for pleasant things to happen. He adored the pretty flowers and the hope on people’s faces but he could relate more to the falling leaves and people pulling their coats closer to themselves. Spring might look fancy and vivid but he wanted someone who would gladly sit through the colorless winter with him. He saw that now.
‘I want him. Oh god, I want him to love me. Nobody else, ever. Just me.’
The shivers stopped. He didn’t feel numb anymore. He had always assumed that people naturally had an epiphany about love in a romantic setting. He never thought that he would have one in the men’s room at work.
But the next moment, he had to flop down on the floor as his mind was flooded with waves of emotion. Joy, guilt, hope, remorse, and love were entangled, refusing to sort themselves out. His brain was on overload, playing out all the possible scenarios regarding the shift of dynamics in the love triangle. This time, he had to be right. It was his last chance and none of the three apexes could afford another bad decision. It all came down to him. He was the only one who could set all three of them free.
Mike thought that he had heard the door open and close but he couldn’t care less. He closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. Various scenarios were still running in his head and he had to focus. There was no best-case scenario at this point. Any scenario would result in at least one of his loved ones’ heart getting ripped out. He found it ironic that he had made a selfish decision based on his thoughts and feelings when love was supposed to be selfless.
“Jesus Christ.” Louis rushed towards the sink and turned off the faucet. There was water all over the sink. He would have to deal with the thoughtless partner who didn’t know how to save energy. He despised those who didn’t appreciate the firm’s resources. So he put on his court face and glared at the culprit sitting on the floor until he recognized the short, blond hair.
“Mike?”
Something was wrong with the young associate. He looked too distressed for his liking. “Hey, what’s the matter?”
Mike couldn’t lift his head. He was overwhelmed with his decision and terrified of its ramifications. He knew that Harvey wanted him to be brave but while he was trying to fix his previously wrong decision, it felt like he was making a whole new set of mistakes.
“Harvey…” Mike found that it was the only word that helped him restore order inside his head.
Louis knitted his eyebrows. “No, this is Louis. And, for the record, I’m offended that you’re confusing me with him when I’m clearly the one with the better voice.”
When Mike made no attempt to defend his mentor, Louis understood the gravity of the situation. He sometimes criticized Harvey just to see the flares of loyalty fire up in the boy’s eyes.
“Mike, talk to me. Do you need the company shrink? You have to get up.” Louis tried to help him up but the boy wouldn’t budge.
“Fine. I’ll go fetch your precious Harvey. Don’t do anything stupid and wait here.” Louis groaned and left the men’s room. Some people just didn’t know how to accept his kindness.
“Louis! You can’t just barge in there!” Donna shot out of her seat and rushed after the junior partner who had already walked into the office.
“Harvey, you need to do something about your associate.”
“If you mean mentoring, I’m already on it.” Harvey was too drained to make Louis feel inferior today.
“No, you don’t get it. There’s a wet puppy in the partners’ restroom, looking broken. I don’t know what happened since he wouldn’t talk to me but I suggest you go fix him. Or I’m going to have to tell Jessica that you broke the firm’s most valuable associate.”
As soon as Louis left the office, Donna headed straight for the closet. “I hope you know what you’re doing.” She spoke gently while taking out a spare shirt, a tie and a towel.
Harvey was grateful that her tone wasn’t accusing. “It’s going to be over soon one way or another. Besides, he’s much stronger than anyone gives him credit for.”
Donna nodded and smiled faintly. “You know him best.” She would have liked to throw in a few soothing words for her dearest friend but she had a puppy to rescue. It was rapidly becoming a worrying routine.
Apparently, Mike felt the same way if the astounded look on his face was any indication.
‘No... Not again!’ Mike stood up with a jerk. He had to break out of the vicious circle. He had to stand up for himself. He refused to find himself in a situation that he needed Donna’s help again. This time, things were different though. He didn’t feel lost anymore; a little unsure, yes, but given the importance of the decision, he thought that it was understandable.
“Here.” Donna held out the stuff that she got from Harvey’s closet. She was relieved that Mike’s pants, well, Harvey’s pants, were intact. She had seen him leave Harvey’s office wearing his boss’ pants after the nap.
“No thanks, Donna. I don’t need your help.” Mike said politely.
Donna raised her eyebrow. “You can’t walk around with a soaked shirt, Mike. You need to change.”
When Mike hesitated and looked at her with wary eyes, she let out a short sigh. “I know. I want to break this habit too. Take off your shirt already. This is the last time I’ll fetch you anything.”
Despite her stern tone, Mike knew that she didn’t really mean it. She just hoped that they would never come to this again. Mike started to undo the buttons on his shirt while pondering about asking Donna’s opinion. But there must be a reason why she didn’t get directly involved. It was very unlike her but so like her at the same time. Such a wise woman, she was. She seemed to understand that it was simpler to solve an equation when there were fewer variables.
“Thank you.” Mike said sincerely. He hoped that she understood he wasn’t just thanking her for the fresh shirt.
“You’re welcome.” Donna was delighted to see a smiling Mike. Something had changed. She could smell it in the air and see it in the boy. Mike looked happy in Harvey’s suit and there was a certain glow on his face.
“Someone’s a happy puppy.” She smiled. Perhaps the saga was coming to an end?
“I hope we’ll all get to be happy.” Mike’s face clouded over as he realized that he would have to talk to Rachel before running to Harvey. The least he could do was tell Rachel what was going on and give her closure as soon as possible.
Mike took deep breaths as he followed Donna out to the hallway. He suspected that the process of breaking up would be gutting like any other relationship that had once been treasured.
‘I’ll have Harvey to help me heal but who does she have?’ A cute puppy face came to his mind but he wished that Rachel had a human being to look after her.
Mike smiled wryly as he headed to Rachel’s office. He never knew that he had such audacity when he was planning to leave her in a few hours.
Knock-knock.
“Rach, do you have a moment?”
“Sure. Come in.”
Rachel pulled a face when she saw her boyfriend dressed in a suit that was far outside his price range. “Is that Harvey’s?”
Mike nodded with a wistful smile. Rachel had come to check on him earlier but since he had been sitting at his desk, she probably hadn’t got a chance to see the pants that he was wearing.
“An explanation, please?” Rachel demanded gently, ignoring how her insides were getting twisted. She had a feeling that the explanation wouldn’t mean a thing.
Mike couldn’t help but admire the beautiful picture that was Rachel Zane. Even in such a humiliating situation, she remained strong and graceful. This would be one of the last images in which he would remember her as his girlfriend. Mike captured the moment with his eyes and locked it away deep inside his mind.
“Mikey…?” Rachel tried not to shudder. The look on Mike’s face chilled her to the bone.
“I love you, Rachel.” Mike confessed shamelessly. He wasn’t lying though. He just found out that he loved her in a different way than he had initially thought.
Rachel opened her mouth but no sound came out. Her lover sounded different. His love felt different.
“I love you too, Mikey.” Her words were barely a whisper. She was choked up with emotions that she wasn’t ready to identify.
Mike’s smile grew wider yet sadder. He could tell that she knew what was coming and he could feel what she was feeling. Why couldn’t they have connected like this before? Or was this only possible because it was the last flame of their bond?
“Will you have dinner with me tonight?” Mike approached the desk and gave her a soft kiss. He was grateful that she didn’t pull back.
“Sorry, I can’t. I already have plans.” Rachel lied. She wasn’t ready to have the fateful talk. Everything was happening so fast and she didn’t know how to put a stop to it.
Mike couldn’t remember what kind of plans she had but decided to respect her privacy. There were only so many privileges left that he could exploit as the shadow of her boyfriend. “What about tomorrow dinner then?”
Rachel nodded reluctantly. She needed time to digest what was going on and come up with a plan, but she didn’t want to push the date too further and raise suspicion. If Mike thought that she would give him up that easily, he was wrong. She just had to figure out what had turned the tables.
But hadn’t her love been enough for him? What more did he want? Couldn’t he see it in her eyes? Couldn’t he feel it in her kisses and touches? Wasn’t he a Harvard-graduated lawyer? Wasn’t he supposed to be an excellent people-reader?
Mike pressed his lips against Rachel’s hair while she closed her eyes and tried to absorb the remnants of his love. She had no idea how many times she would get to enjoy his kisses. But with her eyes closed, all she could smell was another man’s scent on her man. It was like a punch to her gut. Harvey Specter was stomping all over her Mikey’s world. Whether it was in the form of a pair of dumbbells, a watch or a suit, whether he was teaching him tennis or taking him on a bike tour, he was everywhere. He had penetrated deep into Mike’s life even outside the office so how could she possibly compete with him?
Rachel smiled wryly as she let Mike hold her tight. She never knew that Mike had such audacity when he had been planning to leave her in a few hours.