(no subject)
I'm hanging in there.
Man, the past couple days are just beautiful. I honestly wish I had more time to visit the beach or something.
Yeah..
The other day I learned just how different I am. I mean, at first, Geneivei told me that I'm different than the rest of the group. She didn't mean that to be offensive, in some way she is different herself. The group and I are about the same age however I'm more 'mature' I guess. Then I had to explain to her that I've already known about this. I've noticed that everywhere I go I'm just different. I don't quite know why I'm different on the mental level. I mean I could say experiences, otherkin mindset or something but that feels like a cheap answer.
Then another day I kind of see why. David was trying to fill me in on what I missed on Friday when the whole group went out and then slowly made its way about them eating out to often to being rich. David says that he just lives in a simple home, other people responded saying that a two story house and yadda isn't a simple home, it's a rich person's home! Everyone talks about their home, their parent's jobs and such. I realized just how low on the chain I am here. House, pfft. Dad has two jobs... Then talked about cars and how their parents pretty much paid for their first car or a relative gave them one. I told them I paid $8,000 for mine, and still working for it. They call my car old. And yeah, it's true, a 98 is old. It's really unfair.. and I mean, we started with owing a home, had a nice place and everything. Somehow we all just went down hill. With my dad's problem. Being in jail. Drinking. Then my mom's problem. Being in jail. Stealing. I honestly don't know why I'm so forgiving.
Now my mom has yet to pay her half of the cable bill, especially when she upgrades some equipment and says that she'll pay for her share now bails on me.
Why is life so unfair? I'm not depressed or upset about it, it is what it is, you know? Can only make the best of what you can. I'm simply complaining. My bad.
Is this some kind of afterlife karma punishment? Could it be God trying to make some kind of statement? Or will everything balance out?
I don't want any rewards. If I don't want any rewards, shouldn't this eliminate punishment?
Anyway, enough about that stuff. It's all good. Life was never meant to be easy. Man, I hope I can pay off my car as soon as possible. That's the only reason why I'm putting myself under this kind of stress. Pay my car off so I have something of my own, you know?
Eh, I better get off to drawing and stuff. :B I love drawing. I would also love to paint. And sculpt. Yeah, I think a Major in Studio Art.
Yeaah. Studio Art! Definiately something I just might pursue. Perhaps business might be another thing to learn. So far I already have an idea what it takes to be a manager. Perhaps I can move up the corporate ladder that way too.
We'll see.
After all, it is a quest of hopes and dreams.
Man, the past couple days are just beautiful. I honestly wish I had more time to visit the beach or something.
Yeah..
The other day I learned just how different I am. I mean, at first, Geneivei told me that I'm different than the rest of the group. She didn't mean that to be offensive, in some way she is different herself. The group and I are about the same age however I'm more 'mature' I guess. Then I had to explain to her that I've already known about this. I've noticed that everywhere I go I'm just different. I don't quite know why I'm different on the mental level. I mean I could say experiences, otherkin mindset or something but that feels like a cheap answer.
Then another day I kind of see why. David was trying to fill me in on what I missed on Friday when the whole group went out and then slowly made its way about them eating out to often to being rich. David says that he just lives in a simple home, other people responded saying that a two story house and yadda isn't a simple home, it's a rich person's home! Everyone talks about their home, their parent's jobs and such. I realized just how low on the chain I am here. House, pfft. Dad has two jobs... Then talked about cars and how their parents pretty much paid for their first car or a relative gave them one. I told them I paid $8,000 for mine, and still working for it. They call my car old. And yeah, it's true, a 98 is old. It's really unfair.. and I mean, we started with owing a home, had a nice place and everything. Somehow we all just went down hill. With my dad's problem. Being in jail. Drinking. Then my mom's problem. Being in jail. Stealing. I honestly don't know why I'm so forgiving.
Now my mom has yet to pay her half of the cable bill, especially when she upgrades some equipment and says that she'll pay for her share now bails on me.
Why is life so unfair? I'm not depressed or upset about it, it is what it is, you know? Can only make the best of what you can. I'm simply complaining. My bad.
Is this some kind of afterlife karma punishment? Could it be God trying to make some kind of statement? Or will everything balance out?
I don't want any rewards. If I don't want any rewards, shouldn't this eliminate punishment?
Anyway, enough about that stuff. It's all good. Life was never meant to be easy. Man, I hope I can pay off my car as soon as possible. That's the only reason why I'm putting myself under this kind of stress. Pay my car off so I have something of my own, you know?
Eh, I better get off to drawing and stuff. :B I love drawing. I would also love to paint. And sculpt. Yeah, I think a Major in Studio Art.
Yeaah. Studio Art! Definiately something I just might pursue. Perhaps business might be another thing to learn. So far I already have an idea what it takes to be a manager. Perhaps I can move up the corporate ladder that way too.
We'll see.
After all, it is a quest of hopes and dreams.