Cold
I used to enjoy sleeping, now I don't know what has happen. Wait, yes I do. What happen was that now my bed is a cold place. Nothing awates me there and that bothers me. I find myself walking around my house aimlessy until I can no longer keep my eyes open. I don't sleep well.
It just hit me how amazing that one aspect of a relationship can be, and I do not mean dating. I mean any friendship to the love of your life and anywhere in between. Nothing beats the sence of touch. Especially holding someone while sleeping, because that can never compare to your pillows. I remember in high school when Ty and I were together we would fall asleep to eachother on the phone. It is cute to think about because it is like it served as a link between us, as if we were sleeping next to eachother because there was a phone next to our heads.
At this piont it is not even like I crave a boyfriend to hold me, just someone I am comfortable with and care about. That is all. Just to feel close to someone would be nice for a change.
...
Aside from that I am currently not being quite so "emo". I was quite content today. Which was due to my talk with Rob. And why am I happy to talk to Rob? Because he makes me feel normal. I know I am a bit eccentric and crazy. But I truly long to be able to have a conversation with someone and not have then give me an odd lot as I am laughing at something I said which was a bit off. So I find people who are just as odd and I feel good because that is home. Nick is like that two, he never made me feel like an outsider. So with that I was happy and ok with myself today. Not so self conscious because I think I need to just accept the fact I am a crazy broad and be ok with it. At least If I am crazy things are never boring.
and... I want sex.
end
It just hit me how amazing that one aspect of a relationship can be, and I do not mean dating. I mean any friendship to the love of your life and anywhere in between. Nothing beats the sence of touch. Especially holding someone while sleeping, because that can never compare to your pillows. I remember in high school when Ty and I were together we would fall asleep to eachother on the phone. It is cute to think about because it is like it served as a link between us, as if we were sleeping next to eachother because there was a phone next to our heads.
At this piont it is not even like I crave a boyfriend to hold me, just someone I am comfortable with and care about. That is all. Just to feel close to someone would be nice for a change.
...
Aside from that I am currently not being quite so "emo". I was quite content today. Which was due to my talk with Rob. And why am I happy to talk to Rob? Because he makes me feel normal. I know I am a bit eccentric and crazy. But I truly long to be able to have a conversation with someone and not have then give me an odd lot as I am laughing at something I said which was a bit off. So I find people who are just as odd and I feel good because that is home. Nick is like that two, he never made me feel like an outsider. So with that I was happy and ok with myself today. Not so self conscious because I think I need to just accept the fact I am a crazy broad and be ok with it. At least If I am crazy things are never boring.
and... I want sex.
end