Another year gone
Well, another year almost gone...in retrospect...not totally disappointed. Most of this year sucked and was full of tears and screaming, but not disappointed. I got to learn what kind of human I really am.
Just for fun, let's recap:
March: got a $2 an hour raise! Got a positive evaluation at work. Was told to keep up the good work, but pay attention!
April: Lorrie passed away
May: cat ran over by speeding car
May: car stolen, found, and then traded for big-block Chevy motor
July: Dave's mom passed away
Aug: boyfriend drama and almost broke up
Sept: made up
Sept-Oct: Dave in hospital
Oct: Dave diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer
Nov: got bonus at work! Positive evaluation at work, again. Told to keep up the good work, pay attention, and there is a positive future for me
Dec: Dave's truck stolen, found burnt to a crisp
Just reading that makes me tired!
This year has been a year of total downs - not ups and downs - but for some reason, I'm still here. It's like being tested and failing every single time. But this year, I have learned a great deal about myself. I think that I have done more growing in this year than I have done in my whole life. I am beginning to really understand the need for good friends, the importance of being honest to myself, and appreciating true genuine love. My entire childhood was built on a foundation of miss-truths; my parents didn’t show me love, or show me how to love. I just thought people just treated each other that way.
This year, I have discovered that Dave is my best friend, and though we have made it through some rough patches, at the end of the day, I do love him. He isn’t my dream man or anything like that, but I enjoy his company, he makes me laugh, and I care about him. That’s what matters, right? This year I have grown closer with my own family, my parents excluded. Though I am still pretty sore that they aren’t part of my life, and I have decided to be honest with myself and accept that I will never be okay about it, I have the rest of my family to thank for loving me and accepting me just the way that I am. My aunt has become someone, that I have no reservations - I can tell her anything and I don’t fear being judged or ridiculed.
This is the first year that I have been able to give presents and really appreciate the feeling of giving. It is a great feeling. I feel as though my heart has grown and expanded and that there are no limits to where it can go. *okay after typing that - seems a little corny…*
Anyway, this year I really am thankful for what I have. I think there is a difference between being thankful and feeling thankful. And I feel thankful. I am glad to have friends. I am glad to have a great job where my co-workers appreciate me, and I like what I do.
And I’m glad to have a kitty to lick my nose in the morning.
Just for fun, let's recap:
March: got a $2 an hour raise! Got a positive evaluation at work. Was told to keep up the good work, but pay attention!
April: Lorrie passed away
May: cat ran over by speeding car
May: car stolen, found, and then traded for big-block Chevy motor
July: Dave's mom passed away
Aug: boyfriend drama and almost broke up
Sept: made up
Sept-Oct: Dave in hospital
Oct: Dave diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer
Nov: got bonus at work! Positive evaluation at work, again. Told to keep up the good work, pay attention, and there is a positive future for me
Dec: Dave's truck stolen, found burnt to a crisp
Just reading that makes me tired!
This year has been a year of total downs - not ups and downs - but for some reason, I'm still here. It's like being tested and failing every single time. But this year, I have learned a great deal about myself. I think that I have done more growing in this year than I have done in my whole life. I am beginning to really understand the need for good friends, the importance of being honest to myself, and appreciating true genuine love. My entire childhood was built on a foundation of miss-truths; my parents didn’t show me love, or show me how to love. I just thought people just treated each other that way.
This year, I have discovered that Dave is my best friend, and though we have made it through some rough patches, at the end of the day, I do love him. He isn’t my dream man or anything like that, but I enjoy his company, he makes me laugh, and I care about him. That’s what matters, right? This year I have grown closer with my own family, my parents excluded. Though I am still pretty sore that they aren’t part of my life, and I have decided to be honest with myself and accept that I will never be okay about it, I have the rest of my family to thank for loving me and accepting me just the way that I am. My aunt has become someone, that I have no reservations - I can tell her anything and I don’t fear being judged or ridiculed.
This is the first year that I have been able to give presents and really appreciate the feeling of giving. It is a great feeling. I feel as though my heart has grown and expanded and that there are no limits to where it can go. *okay after typing that - seems a little corny…*
Anyway, this year I really am thankful for what I have. I think there is a difference between being thankful and feeling thankful. And I feel thankful. I am glad to have friends. I am glad to have a great job where my co-workers appreciate me, and I like what I do.
And I’m glad to have a kitty to lick my nose in the morning.