A great Strawberry festival, and what the fuck? We're fighting again? The same damn fight?
I got back from the Strawberry Festival yesterday. I had a lot of fun. There was two bands that I liked a lot: Brother, and Toubab Krewe. There will be pictures soon, as soon as I get off my ass and take the cameras to the store and get the film developed.
So, anyways, the title says that there was a lot of booze...well, that's a lie. There was a little booze. I now like Fosters. But there was a fight! (Well, I don't know if there is supposed to be an exclamation point, but there was a fight.)
Dave and I have a few friends that go to Strawberry. They are from Santa Rosa, which is not so far if we wanted to see them outside of Strawberry, but anyways, they are nice and fun and they like us. When we got to Strawberry on Wednesday, I said to Dave, "Let's go see if Harmony and Julie are here yet." "No, they don't get here 'til later," he tells me. So I let it go. So, on Thursday I asked again. This time he had a different excuse. And all week I asked him if he wanted to go find them to talk to them and ask them how they were doing. Once Dave said okay. Several times he wanted to do something else. We went hiking, we went to Mud Lake and tried to feed turtles and found a baby turtle. We went out on the music meadow and listened to some great music. We walked around and had a great time. So on Sunday, when we were getting ready to leave, I say to Dave, "Let's go find everyone and say goodbye since we didn't get to hang out with them as much as we'd like." "We'll never find them he says." We walked up to their camp and they weren't there, so he wanted to give up. And what did his bitchy girlfriend do? I got mad.
I suddenly realized that Dave is not a socializer. He doesn't want to work to make relationships work. That includes love relationships and friend relationships. It is easier for him to let everyone come to him, but when he has to do some work and go to meet people or go out of his way, he doesn't want to do it. I have to admit it, but I'm still pissed about the wedding. I hate that I have to beg him to do any of the "couple" things that most couples take for granted. We've been together for almost two years and I have to beg him to come over and have dinner. He still has not met Alma and Poppa yet, he doesn't want to meet family. He doesn't want to go to his friend's houses for barbeques. And when I get angry and want to know why he is so selfish, he first wants to know if I'm going to start my period, and then he agrees with everything I say because he doesn't want to face to real problem. "Are we talking or arguing, because you need to decide what you want to fight about," he says. As though this is some fly by night thing that I just made up. Oh by the way, I just thought of this this morning: I hate the fact that I have to go to social events by myself.
I'm at a point where I don't know if I want to fight this fight anymore. He would rather break up with me that talk about it and work it out. He would rather take the easy way out then work a little. He would rather throw away a relationship because I don't want the world to totally revolve around him. I want to be an other half, not a hanger.
So, anyways, the title says that there was a lot of booze...well, that's a lie. There was a little booze. I now like Fosters. But there was a fight! (Well, I don't know if there is supposed to be an exclamation point, but there was a fight.)
Dave and I have a few friends that go to Strawberry. They are from Santa Rosa, which is not so far if we wanted to see them outside of Strawberry, but anyways, they are nice and fun and they like us. When we got to Strawberry on Wednesday, I said to Dave, "Let's go see if Harmony and Julie are here yet." "No, they don't get here 'til later," he tells me. So I let it go. So, on Thursday I asked again. This time he had a different excuse. And all week I asked him if he wanted to go find them to talk to them and ask them how they were doing. Once Dave said okay. Several times he wanted to do something else. We went hiking, we went to Mud Lake and tried to feed turtles and found a baby turtle. We went out on the music meadow and listened to some great music. We walked around and had a great time. So on Sunday, when we were getting ready to leave, I say to Dave, "Let's go find everyone and say goodbye since we didn't get to hang out with them as much as we'd like." "We'll never find them he says." We walked up to their camp and they weren't there, so he wanted to give up. And what did his bitchy girlfriend do? I got mad.
I suddenly realized that Dave is not a socializer. He doesn't want to work to make relationships work. That includes love relationships and friend relationships. It is easier for him to let everyone come to him, but when he has to do some work and go to meet people or go out of his way, he doesn't want to do it. I have to admit it, but I'm still pissed about the wedding. I hate that I have to beg him to do any of the "couple" things that most couples take for granted. We've been together for almost two years and I have to beg him to come over and have dinner. He still has not met Alma and Poppa yet, he doesn't want to meet family. He doesn't want to go to his friend's houses for barbeques. And when I get angry and want to know why he is so selfish, he first wants to know if I'm going to start my period, and then he agrees with everything I say because he doesn't want to face to real problem. "Are we talking or arguing, because you need to decide what you want to fight about," he says. As though this is some fly by night thing that I just made up. Oh by the way, I just thought of this this morning: I hate the fact that I have to go to social events by myself.
I'm at a point where I don't know if I want to fight this fight anymore. He would rather break up with me that talk about it and work it out. He would rather take the easy way out then work a little. He would rather throw away a relationship because I don't want the world to totally revolve around him. I want to be an other half, not a hanger.