pull the pin and throw the bomb! slit my fuckin' throat!
I just sent my parents something explaining the tattoos and etc. So, now I'm just waiting for the bomb to drop. It's just a tad bit nerve-racking.
Dear Mahm and Dad:
I have something to tell you, and I can let you know already that you won’t be happy about it. But please, do me the common courtesy of taking your time to read this entire letter rather than just skimming. I spent a lot of time writing this, as I wanted to be able to explain myself properly. But before I tell you just what’s going on, I’d like you to bear in mind a few things throughout the duration of this letter:
1)I am a good person
2)I only ever drink responsibly
3)I am a good student
4)I don’t insist on spending all your money on clothes and shoes and makeup because I am awesome.
5)I love you guys
Ok, are you ready? Good, cause I’m not. Please remember to try and remain calm, breath and keep reminding yourself that this has nothing to do with your parenting skills, this was a personal decision on my part. Over the summer I got two tattoos. Now, before you start bringing out the rage and throwing chairs or becoming very “disappointed in my decision making abilities” allow me to explain myself better than that. First of all, it’s not like I just went out and got some stupid tribal tattoo because it’s very fashionable to have those these days, or I got a big flaming skull on my ass cause I thought it would look “wicked cool.” No, I am better than that. Both of my tattoos have a lot of meaning to me and I spent a lot of time on both of them. And, on the upside, they are both small and easily hidden, (as I have already proven) so that if I ever need to get a real job, my employers will never even know they’re there. My first tattoo is on my back, in between my shoulder blades. This one is very important to me and I spent a lot of time designing just how I wanted it to look, it is a small pair of wings. The story behind this? Well, a little known fact is that during senior year for about 2-3 months, I went through some severe depression. And by depression, I don’t mean the average high school student’s definition of depression; I mean that I’m not sure how I managed to get myself out of bed and to school sometimes. I’m not sure how I managed to get through school and graduate because I spent all of school sleeping and avoiding my friends. I broke up with Jason during this period of time and cut off a lot of ties with people. I’m not sure if you guys noticed or not, though chances are you did and I’m just oblivious. But, that’s what happened. So, I kept having these dreams when I was going through this that involved me just falling and falling into a big black nothing. Most any dream I had could start off normal, but inevitably end up the same way. But after I started to get better, started to fix the things that were wrong and get myself back on track, I had one of those dreams again. This time, I didn’t fall. This time I kind of sprouted wings and pulled myself out of the big black nothing. And as corny as that all sounded, it was a very important moment for me. It made me realize that I had control of this situation, that this is my life and I won’t let my depression run it for me. So, I spent about forever designing it, saved up my money, did my research and eventually Jamie took me to get it done. And they are beautiful; the artist did a great job. Every time I catch a glimpse of them in the mirror they make me happy. It’s a constant reminder to me that I don’t need to go back there and that I am better than that.
Now, on to the second tattoo: I got this one the night before I moved into college. Jamie and I have been best friends for five years now and after a lot of talking one night, we realized that after all we’ve been through we are still best friends and understand each other more than anyone else ever could. But, here we were, about to move into separate directions. So after a lot of deliberating we decided to get matching tattoos based on those best friends necklaces that I think we went through about 50 of during junior high and high school. She always had pink and I always had blue so it seemed only appropriate that we should get a little star in our color. So I have a small blue star on my hip and she has a matching pink star on her ankle. It’s our reminder to each other that no matter what happens, that other person is always there.
I’m sure that by now, you have come up with several arguments against my decisions, but bear in mind that I have also done a lot of thinking on my part. I know you guys don’t like tattoos, but that’s your opinion. I believe I was raised to create my own opinions of things, and in this case our opinions differ. I know that you are going to tell me that this is permanent and that I have to live with them forever. I know. That’s kind of a big part of the consideration process when one gets a tattoo. I’ve already thought about that and if it wasn’t permanent, I wouldn’t have gotten them. The point is that they are permanent, that I will always have them. And on the off chance that I end up regretting them when I’m older, I figure I can say, “Hey, at least I lived my life and had a good time doing it!” I’m glad it’s permanent; it’s comforting to know that these will be with me my whole life, no matter what. I know that might be hard to understand, but just know that I thought this through and didn’t rush into it. You know I wouldn’t rush into something like this, you know me better than that.
I’m sorry that I hid this from both of you for so long. I’m sorry I didn’t tell either of you in person. But, I do much better in explaining things when I write them down. It gives me time to appropriately organized my thoughts and plus I’ve tried telling you guys stuff in person before and you usually scare the poo out of me and I cry and look like a little girl. Which isn’t the most effective way to get across how I feel. However, I make no apologies for the tattoos. And keep in mind that I did not do them just to spite you. I did this for me, and only me.
So, I’m sure that by now you’re ready to bring out the rage. My cell phone will be on (unless sleeping or in class) so you can call anytime and let me know how you feel, because I know you want to. Thank you for your time. You don’t have to agree with me, I just want you to take the time to try and understand.
Sincerely,
-the love child-
PS: By the way, on a less serious note I just thought I’d let you guys know (since you birthed me and all) that I am bisexual. And when I say this I don’t mean it like most girls do: “I’m experimenting!” or “I just say that so guys think I’m hot!” No, I really am. So, I guess this is my coming out of the half-closet. Sorry guys, I’ll try not to hit you with so much crap in one day ever again. Thanks again, love you both very much!
Dear Mahm and Dad:
I have something to tell you, and I can let you know already that you won’t be happy about it. But please, do me the common courtesy of taking your time to read this entire letter rather than just skimming. I spent a lot of time writing this, as I wanted to be able to explain myself properly. But before I tell you just what’s going on, I’d like you to bear in mind a few things throughout the duration of this letter:
1)I am a good person
2)I only ever drink responsibly
3)I am a good student
4)I don’t insist on spending all your money on clothes and shoes and makeup because I am awesome.
5)I love you guys
Ok, are you ready? Good, cause I’m not. Please remember to try and remain calm, breath and keep reminding yourself that this has nothing to do with your parenting skills, this was a personal decision on my part. Over the summer I got two tattoos. Now, before you start bringing out the rage and throwing chairs or becoming very “disappointed in my decision making abilities” allow me to explain myself better than that. First of all, it’s not like I just went out and got some stupid tribal tattoo because it’s very fashionable to have those these days, or I got a big flaming skull on my ass cause I thought it would look “wicked cool.” No, I am better than that. Both of my tattoos have a lot of meaning to me and I spent a lot of time on both of them. And, on the upside, they are both small and easily hidden, (as I have already proven) so that if I ever need to get a real job, my employers will never even know they’re there. My first tattoo is on my back, in between my shoulder blades. This one is very important to me and I spent a lot of time designing just how I wanted it to look, it is a small pair of wings. The story behind this? Well, a little known fact is that during senior year for about 2-3 months, I went through some severe depression. And by depression, I don’t mean the average high school student’s definition of depression; I mean that I’m not sure how I managed to get myself out of bed and to school sometimes. I’m not sure how I managed to get through school and graduate because I spent all of school sleeping and avoiding my friends. I broke up with Jason during this period of time and cut off a lot of ties with people. I’m not sure if you guys noticed or not, though chances are you did and I’m just oblivious. But, that’s what happened. So, I kept having these dreams when I was going through this that involved me just falling and falling into a big black nothing. Most any dream I had could start off normal, but inevitably end up the same way. But after I started to get better, started to fix the things that were wrong and get myself back on track, I had one of those dreams again. This time, I didn’t fall. This time I kind of sprouted wings and pulled myself out of the big black nothing. And as corny as that all sounded, it was a very important moment for me. It made me realize that I had control of this situation, that this is my life and I won’t let my depression run it for me. So, I spent about forever designing it, saved up my money, did my research and eventually Jamie took me to get it done. And they are beautiful; the artist did a great job. Every time I catch a glimpse of them in the mirror they make me happy. It’s a constant reminder to me that I don’t need to go back there and that I am better than that.
Now, on to the second tattoo: I got this one the night before I moved into college. Jamie and I have been best friends for five years now and after a lot of talking one night, we realized that after all we’ve been through we are still best friends and understand each other more than anyone else ever could. But, here we were, about to move into separate directions. So after a lot of deliberating we decided to get matching tattoos based on those best friends necklaces that I think we went through about 50 of during junior high and high school. She always had pink and I always had blue so it seemed only appropriate that we should get a little star in our color. So I have a small blue star on my hip and she has a matching pink star on her ankle. It’s our reminder to each other that no matter what happens, that other person is always there.
I’m sure that by now, you have come up with several arguments against my decisions, but bear in mind that I have also done a lot of thinking on my part. I know you guys don’t like tattoos, but that’s your opinion. I believe I was raised to create my own opinions of things, and in this case our opinions differ. I know that you are going to tell me that this is permanent and that I have to live with them forever. I know. That’s kind of a big part of the consideration process when one gets a tattoo. I’ve already thought about that and if it wasn’t permanent, I wouldn’t have gotten them. The point is that they are permanent, that I will always have them. And on the off chance that I end up regretting them when I’m older, I figure I can say, “Hey, at least I lived my life and had a good time doing it!” I’m glad it’s permanent; it’s comforting to know that these will be with me my whole life, no matter what. I know that might be hard to understand, but just know that I thought this through and didn’t rush into it. You know I wouldn’t rush into something like this, you know me better than that.
I’m sorry that I hid this from both of you for so long. I’m sorry I didn’t tell either of you in person. But, I do much better in explaining things when I write them down. It gives me time to appropriately organized my thoughts and plus I’ve tried telling you guys stuff in person before and you usually scare the poo out of me and I cry and look like a little girl. Which isn’t the most effective way to get across how I feel. However, I make no apologies for the tattoos. And keep in mind that I did not do them just to spite you. I did this for me, and only me.
So, I’m sure that by now you’re ready to bring out the rage. My cell phone will be on (unless sleeping or in class) so you can call anytime and let me know how you feel, because I know you want to. Thank you for your time. You don’t have to agree with me, I just want you to take the time to try and understand.
Sincerely,
-the love child-
PS: By the way, on a less serious note I just thought I’d let you guys know (since you birthed me and all) that I am bisexual. And when I say this I don’t mean it like most girls do: “I’m experimenting!” or “I just say that so guys think I’m hot!” No, I really am. So, I guess this is my coming out of the half-closet. Sorry guys, I’ll try not to hit you with so much crap in one day ever again. Thanks again, love you both very much!