wow this is stressfull
What is my plan for next year? Where do I want to go?
Most popular question lately. "You want to dance, right?" Yeah, sure tends to be the answer, or something seemingly more convincing. But do I really, honestly want to? I have no Idea. Dance is part of my life, and part of who I've become. It's what I do, and what I'm associated with. But now, thinking about it, is it really something I want to to do? I'm not so sure. I say I want to do it because it seems like the right answer, or it's just by habit. But not dancing would so...weird. Going from everyday, 15 hours a week, to...nothing. 14 years of training for...what? Nothing? I feel like I should be doing something with. I will miss it, no doubt.
What do I really want to do? I have no fucking clue. I want to travel so bad it hurts. I want to see the world and everything in it. I want to live in other cultures. I want to go to art school. And get good at something. Something that isn.t dance. I spent so much time getting good at it, that everything else do is...lacking. Schoolwork, social life, everything. Everything revolves around dance. I want to go to Africa and teach English, or build a school. I want to change some ones life. I want to make a difference.
Maybe I should take a year, or semester off to figure things out. I feel like I should know what I want to do. Or atleast have and idea of what I want. And I do, but it changes everything day. Backpack Europe...alone. Sort a lot of things out. Find out who I really am. Meet some people...just, I need something. I want to be able to feel. Get away from all of the bullshit and drama and just...get out.
And you, you're definitly not helping on the no stress factor. You're so confusion and...I want to know what's going on.
So...any takers for a backpacking trip of Europe?
Or better yet, who wants to figure out my life for me?