hmm
I think I should be less easily frustrated. Maybe I should have made that my New Years resolution.
Hot diggity damn! Grammar saves the day again!
One particular line of this Savage Love column made me laugh out loud. I think you all probably know which one it is.
Interesting interview about religion.
Carolyn Hax says:
Virginia: I keep submitting this question every week. I know it's annoying, but... I've asked everyone I know, with no one having a good answer... or even perspective.
To boil it down... do I go visit my aging and ailing grandparents, who don't know (at Mom's request) that I'm married to a black guy? If so, do I tell them, or take off my rings and lie? If I tell them and they have a stroke and die, is it my fault? (Mom says it will be!)
For the record, I don't think they'd take it as badly as Mom says, but then... she would know them better.
Carolyn Hax: I'm not sure your mom knows better about anything. She's walked you into a pretty deep (but not very pretty) hole by coercing, blaming and shaming you into silence. And you get to live with the fact that you let her.
As does your husband. That's why your decision about your grandparents needs to be one you make -with him-. And only him. You and he talk about it, and you and he decide what's right.
On the bright side, I think you just made the compulsive liar's kid feel a whole lot better.
I wonder if her answer would be the same re cohabitation, without the race question? (From this chat.)
Lying to grandparents: When my grandmother was slowly dying, my mom made me promise not to tell her I was pregnant (I was single). My son was born two weeks after my grandma died. In retrospect I think this was about my mom and her feelings about my having a kid while single, more than about preserving my grandma's feelings. I wish I'd gone and seen her, and told her, and asked for her blessing. At worst, it would have given her something besides her own failing health to talk about!
Carolyn Hax: Thank you. While I agree with your viewpoint in retrospect, I think the important thing before anyone tries this at home is for it to sit properly with one's own conscience. After some hard thought--that means you consider all parties and figure out what you can live with, vs. what I think turns out to be sidestepping a difficult decision by letting a stronger-willed third party make the decision for you. Even though it usually happens to people who are genuinely trying to do their best, it's still a popular regret recipe.
Hot diggity damn! Grammar saves the day again!
One particular line of this Savage Love column made me laugh out loud. I think you all probably know which one it is.
Interesting interview about religion.
Carolyn Hax says:
Virginia: I keep submitting this question every week. I know it's annoying, but... I've asked everyone I know, with no one having a good answer... or even perspective.
To boil it down... do I go visit my aging and ailing grandparents, who don't know (at Mom's request) that I'm married to a black guy? If so, do I tell them, or take off my rings and lie? If I tell them and they have a stroke and die, is it my fault? (Mom says it will be!)
For the record, I don't think they'd take it as badly as Mom says, but then... she would know them better.
Carolyn Hax: I'm not sure your mom knows better about anything. She's walked you into a pretty deep (but not very pretty) hole by coercing, blaming and shaming you into silence. And you get to live with the fact that you let her.
As does your husband. That's why your decision about your grandparents needs to be one you make -with him-. And only him. You and he talk about it, and you and he decide what's right.
On the bright side, I think you just made the compulsive liar's kid feel a whole lot better.
I wonder if her answer would be the same re cohabitation, without the race question? (From this chat.)
Lying to grandparents: When my grandmother was slowly dying, my mom made me promise not to tell her I was pregnant (I was single). My son was born two weeks after my grandma died. In retrospect I think this was about my mom and her feelings about my having a kid while single, more than about preserving my grandma's feelings. I wish I'd gone and seen her, and told her, and asked for her blessing. At worst, it would have given her something besides her own failing health to talk about!
Carolyn Hax: Thank you. While I agree with your viewpoint in retrospect, I think the important thing before anyone tries this at home is for it to sit properly with one's own conscience. After some hard thought--that means you consider all parties and figure out what you can live with, vs. what I think turns out to be sidestepping a difficult decision by letting a stronger-willed third party make the decision for you. Even though it usually happens to people who are genuinely trying to do their best, it's still a popular regret recipe.