thoughts...

[flamingo22]

This new life is terrifying
It’s scary and wrong
It’s old and new and bleak
It’s strong
But weak

It hurts me
It makes me cry
Will it be better, later?
No
Yes
I don’t know

I don’t want to find out.
I just want to be happy.
If i’m dead in a week,
I want to know that i was happy now
Life is too short
To be terribly unhappy
To be sad and miserably depressingly
Alone

I can’t help this feeling
I can’t leave
I can’t get out
But I c an’t stay
I”m torn
Here
There
Nowhere

All I want is Happiness
Too much to ask
Too much to hope for

Love isn’t love if it is oppressive
Or is it?
Am I better off with those
Who love but oppress
Or alone, but happy?

Why can’t I be let go?
It is past time to be on my own
Or so I think
Am I wrong?
What can i do?
Should I voice my thoughts
Even though
That might Hurt
Those I adore?

Should I stay silent?
Silent and oppressed and unhappy?
It’s only a year!
But so much can happen in a year
So much and so little both
I don’t want to live in the past
But i’m not happy in the present
And can’t see how i’ll be happy in the future
It seems to short a period to garner true happiness
It seems rather pointless
Very pointless
Pointless and sad
Such is my life
I hate it.