A bit of chatter about "Being Kurt Hummel"
One of my lovely readers, whom I'm not naming in case anonymity is preferred, asked me in a PM why I didn't address the aftermath of a certain incident to do with Blaine in season 3 in "Being Kurt Hummel."
I love to read writing meta, so although I answered privately I thought I'd drop my answer here for any of you who might be interested.
(And your questions are always welcome! <3)
There are a number of reasons I didn't touch on Blaine's injury (of having his eye damaged when he was slushied by Sebastian in place of Kurt in "Michael") in this story. For one, I didn't want the fic to be stuck showing every moment in canon, and I didn't hit every point I could have. Kurt's story of growing up is too huge to contain in a single story, and I also didn't want to repeat every episode of the show. So there are a number of gaps or places where the narrative is shorter than it could have been (around Karofsky's suicide attempt, for example, which still makes me want to write heaps of fics about it from Kurt's perspective), because the fic needed to keep moving.
Mostly, though, the fic is specifically about Kurt coming to terms with and owning his orientation and sexuality. Kurt in canon doesn't seem to equate the rock-salt slushie incident with him being gay; it's just Sebastian being nasty the same way he is nasty to Finn with the photoshopped picture, and Kurt never actually seems threatened by Sebastian's negative feelings toward him personally. He's neither scared like he was of football players who bullied him (he stands up to them but is definitely scared of being hurt by them in seasons 1 and 2) nor particularly worried that Sebastian doesn't approve of him; he certainly thinks he could lose Blaine to him, and I touch on that in this fic around TFT and his feeling sexually inadequate in comparison, but he doesn't seem to care if Sebastian likes him. He's apparently not craving acceptance from the larger gay community in that way.
The way the whole thing spins out in canon it really has nothing to do with the fact that Kurt and Blaine and Sebastian are gay; it has to do with a sort of love triangle gone wrong that could have been any combination of genders. Kurt in canon doesn't seem to parse the incident as anything really to do with his view of himself or his orientation. He's obviously very upset about it, I think it must bring back memories/feelings of being bullied, he chooses quite deliberately to take some sort of high road in response, and we do learn a lot about his heart in that way, but as much as it's a big moment it's not about his sexuality.
Kurt feels threatened by Sebastian chasing Blaine so fervently, but it's not - even with what Sebastian says to him ("gay face" etc.) - something that changes his behavior or persona (after the bar in TFT) to try to change how he's seen or acts as a gay man. He wants Sebastian to leave Blaine alone but doesn't seem to care what Sebastian thinks of him; he's already learned that lesson about being himself by that point, and that Sebastian is gay and yet evil doesn't seem to matter to him in canon. He doesn't learn about himself in relationship to his orientation because of the slushie. He could have, but that's not what the show did with it. So it didn't seem to be necessary to me to write something about him worrying about bullying or being a target with Blaine, because I take from the screen that he doesn't see it as about him being gay, and that thread, him owning who he is as a gay man, owning all of himself, is what this story is ultimately about.
(Oh, god, I could go on all day about this story and Kurt and all of the places I chose to include things or didn't or... but I will be kind and stop here.)
I love to read writing meta, so although I answered privately I thought I'd drop my answer here for any of you who might be interested.
(And your questions are always welcome! <3)
There are a number of reasons I didn't touch on Blaine's injury (of having his eye damaged when he was slushied by Sebastian in place of Kurt in "Michael") in this story. For one, I didn't want the fic to be stuck showing every moment in canon, and I didn't hit every point I could have. Kurt's story of growing up is too huge to contain in a single story, and I also didn't want to repeat every episode of the show. So there are a number of gaps or places where the narrative is shorter than it could have been (around Karofsky's suicide attempt, for example, which still makes me want to write heaps of fics about it from Kurt's perspective), because the fic needed to keep moving.
Mostly, though, the fic is specifically about Kurt coming to terms with and owning his orientation and sexuality. Kurt in canon doesn't seem to equate the rock-salt slushie incident with him being gay; it's just Sebastian being nasty the same way he is nasty to Finn with the photoshopped picture, and Kurt never actually seems threatened by Sebastian's negative feelings toward him personally. He's neither scared like he was of football players who bullied him (he stands up to them but is definitely scared of being hurt by them in seasons 1 and 2) nor particularly worried that Sebastian doesn't approve of him; he certainly thinks he could lose Blaine to him, and I touch on that in this fic around TFT and his feeling sexually inadequate in comparison, but he doesn't seem to care if Sebastian likes him. He's apparently not craving acceptance from the larger gay community in that way.
The way the whole thing spins out in canon it really has nothing to do with the fact that Kurt and Blaine and Sebastian are gay; it has to do with a sort of love triangle gone wrong that could have been any combination of genders. Kurt in canon doesn't seem to parse the incident as anything really to do with his view of himself or his orientation. He's obviously very upset about it, I think it must bring back memories/feelings of being bullied, he chooses quite deliberately to take some sort of high road in response, and we do learn a lot about his heart in that way, but as much as it's a big moment it's not about his sexuality.
Kurt feels threatened by Sebastian chasing Blaine so fervently, but it's not - even with what Sebastian says to him ("gay face" etc.) - something that changes his behavior or persona (after the bar in TFT) to try to change how he's seen or acts as a gay man. He wants Sebastian to leave Blaine alone but doesn't seem to care what Sebastian thinks of him; he's already learned that lesson about being himself by that point, and that Sebastian is gay and yet evil doesn't seem to matter to him in canon. He doesn't learn about himself in relationship to his orientation because of the slushie. He could have, but that's not what the show did with it. So it didn't seem to be necessary to me to write something about him worrying about bullying or being a target with Blaine, because I take from the screen that he doesn't see it as about him being gay, and that thread, him owning who he is as a gay man, owning all of himself, is what this story is ultimately about.
(Oh, god, I could go on all day about this story and Kurt and all of the places I chose to include things or didn't or... but I will be kind and stop here.)