Writing Shit Down

Sep 26, 2005 02:40

I just need to address a bunch of things, so if you dont want to here some things that might be offensive I suggest you dont read. Especially you Prowl. I'm pissed and I dont care.

Well lets just get right too it, like I said I dont care what this letter means or does, as far as I care it could be a resignation. So lets address this shit so I can go to fuckin bed. Might as well start from the top...

Anne: Fine do what you want we can't stop ya, so whatever. But what I want to know is the comments in your entry about 'lives of lies and secrets' and whatever else you talk about with 'lieing' or 'decietful' acts. So, what we're liars now? Is that it? Yea sure me and Tal take the site a bit too far and fight about it, but really, thats all we have in common in that site. So if we can't fight about that what can we fight about? There's nothing else, this world is plastic, it can only go so far. And you're right, I dont like being wrapped into the same category as Tal because I dont know what parts you're telling me and which you're telling him.

You say bring back those 'boys' you first met. Well forget it, they cant come back, you cant relive the bloody past and those people are long dead. Tal might disagree, but I've been thinkin about what you were saying and its just not possible. Its not. I'm sorry but this whole damn group is fallin apart. It doesn't matter, after all its just plastic.

I dont give a fuck what anyone thinks of me or my life, call me a liar, a cheat, a player, whatever you see fit. I. Dont. Give. A. Fuck. What. Anyone. Thinks. Period! *shakes head* You know maybe it was a bad Idea that I asked you out, maybe I shouldn't have and then things might have been different. Is that why you were hiding? Is that why you haven't had a computer? You pull this shit after I waited. Yea I fucked up, but I waited, and you know, maybe it was a good thing I did, then I wouldn't be still waiting. I wouldn't be sitting here wondering if you're ever gonna show. Fuck it. Fuck you!

When you come on Friday, dont expect me there, cause I wont be. I can't change whats going on, I can't change me. You seem to think I can, and you'll question my love if I don't. Make no mistake I loved ya, but maybe that too was just a waste of time Anne. A Waste Of Time! I hate to say it but it was.

You're probably thinking that I meant none of what I said when we hooked up, believe what you want but that came straight from the heart. But you know times change, and this time its not gonna mend itself. I have only one more thing to say to you then its in your hands. Either you learn to like what you see and accept me as a friend or you can stay the fuck out of my life! And you can forget about those letters I've already burnt the letters, so there you go more proof, I'm a liar. *rolls eyes* What. Ever.

Talyn: You know what, while I'm on the ball here, stop pestering me and trying to control what I do. I DO NOT WANT TO ROLEPLAY RONALD FUCKIN WEASLEY! I'm chained to him on your site and you know what I'm breaking them, I dont give a fuck what you say anymore Tal, I'm sorry, I tried, you tried. I hate being made to do something I dont wanna do!

Also Anne, if you want to know a bit more about 'lieing' how about you tell Talyn who REALLY Destroyed his sites?! Blaze? Wanna help with that too? I Touched nothing to do with the sites, I wasn't even a member on Prowl's site, she destroyed it I took the blame to PISS YOU OFF! Like I said I had my ways, and sorry to say it mate but those ways were through other people. I asked they agreed. Prowl and I teamed up, she destroyed the card site, NOT me. Believe it or not I dont care. Why do you think SPEW never got reopened because Prowl destroyed it herself! I just took all the shit for it, then she got in good with you so she could keep tabs on what you were doing from the inside while I was on the outside. Pretty clever aint it? And your site, TH, when it was all screwed up and all the places were everywhere, How about you ask Blaze about that. I just asked him, made a deal, he did that and I would do something for him and guess what He did. *laughs shrilly* I didn't touch the fuckin sites! NOT ONE! Prowl was the one that called you a twit, I thought it was funny but seriously do you think I would have been as mild to use 'twit' when I was that angry? I would have been more select about my words. I've been itching to tell you that for a long time, a nicer way, to give us both a bit of a laugh. But I was afraid you'd get mad at Prowl and Blaze so I didn't. Since we're getting everything out on the table might as well clean my shoulders. And she's sitting there bitching to us about lieing, bull shit!

Look I dont care if anyone believes anything I say, I keep telling you guys that its fine everythings alright I can handle it myself but NO! You have to know! You want to know! You nag and nag and nag and nag!!! Until I just tell you, then you throw it back in my face and say I'm lieing. Fuck it!<--- that was aimed at EVERYBODY!!!!!

Angy - I have nothing to say to you, concider yourself lucky hon. You've done nothing to really piss me off or anything and for that I'm glad. Thanks. And I want to keep in contact as much as possible ok?

Mysty - About the only fuckin one that I can turn to and now, something's gotten into you too. You've turned... different when I talk to you. I wish you'd just snap out of it so we can be just friends, theropy, Chipmunks and squirrels and Himer the horse. I dont want to lose you as my dearest friend. You're the only one I could turn to without worrying about getting my ass beaten up. Love ya girl and IM me next time you get on ;)

Blaze - You know what, two words for you mate, Fuck. You. You and I never agreed from day one so why should that have changed? Think what you want but its getting annoying and I'm sick of being on your trash list all the time, then when I dont want to say hi I get shit on as well as everyone else.

Darlene - I miss talkin to ya girl, I hope you're doing ok and that we get to talk real soon.

You all wanna know why I've been getting together with other people? Befriending others and sticking around my other sites? Because there is no tension. When I talk to them we dont talk about all the shit that goes on we talk about the great things of life, we talk about kids about rping about work, school holidays and friends. We talk about plots for the site and new characters, we talk about all that stuff or we just goof around and have something this group has forgotten. We have fun. OOOO WOW I JUST SAID FUN!!! *gasp shock horror* *shakes head* Thats why I'm with them a lot more. I love talkin with them because they dont pressure me into what I dont want to do. I find I'm a lot more stressful and they dont go blaming me for causing chest pains or they dont go around calling me a liar. I dont care, do what you like, but I'm quite happy where I am and thats it.

Prowl, on a final note, I'll be your friend if you really think you can after what we've both said, but no more then that. I love ya, I wish it were different but its just not gonna work. Go and get your little Ron and snuggle up with him. *sighs and shakes head*

Wow I think thats the most hateful letter I've ever written to you guys. Ah well it ws really needed I guess. Whatever you make of this or me then fine, I dont care. I cant handle it anymore and I'm not going too.

Hayden
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