Generality
Neverwhere is on in 8 days. 8 days and 8 hoursish. We are not ready.
I am falling apart. Possibly literally. Everything that was wrong and everything that was getting better is now wrong again. Fuckery.
I have two new brothers - Ben and Alex. It's a bit awesome. (not blood relatives, unfortunately, but just as brotherly)
Reading week next week. Pahaha. More like Neverwhere week. I'll be spending the week painting set, buying costume and props and running around and organising and helping rehearsals.
I am so tired of being the glue holding this play together. (Which is what they keep telling me I am). I'm not good enough for it.
On a similar note, I am also fed up of being told I'm awesome or generally complimented, I am fed up of 'being adorable', fed up of trying to fit my degree around everything else, tired of not being able to turn off my brain or just enjoy the things I'm doing...
Still no appointment from the counsellors. Must be busy. Or something.
I sincerely have absolutely no idea what to do with my life after next Sunday (21st). It terrifies me.
Hell, everything terrifies me. Apart from when I don't care any more.
I'm fed up of my closest friends being tired and depressed and not being able to do anything about it, and knowing I'm probably just adding to it.
I'm tired of having no free time any more. But I'm terrified of what having free time would mean.
And I'm not really jealous any more. I'm just very, very sad.
I'm so unbelievably tired of being unreliable and stupid and irritating and unhelpful and a horrible, terrible person who keeps hurting people.
I am falling apart. Possibly literally. Everything that was wrong and everything that was getting better is now wrong again. Fuckery.
I have two new brothers - Ben and Alex. It's a bit awesome. (not blood relatives, unfortunately, but just as brotherly)
Reading week next week. Pahaha. More like Neverwhere week. I'll be spending the week painting set, buying costume and props and running around and organising and helping rehearsals.
I am so tired of being the glue holding this play together. (Which is what they keep telling me I am). I'm not good enough for it.
On a similar note, I am also fed up of being told I'm awesome or generally complimented, I am fed up of 'being adorable', fed up of trying to fit my degree around everything else, tired of not being able to turn off my brain or just enjoy the things I'm doing...
Still no appointment from the counsellors. Must be busy. Or something.
I sincerely have absolutely no idea what to do with my life after next Sunday (21st). It terrifies me.
Hell, everything terrifies me. Apart from when I don't care any more.
I'm fed up of my closest friends being tired and depressed and not being able to do anything about it, and knowing I'm probably just adding to it.
I'm tired of having no free time any more. But I'm terrified of what having free time would mean.
And I'm not really jealous any more. I'm just very, very sad.
I'm so unbelievably tired of being unreliable and stupid and irritating and unhelpful and a horrible, terrible person who keeps hurting people.