sleepy
So my lap top is broken woohoo....I have to save up now to get a new one...
I can't use my keyboard so I had to attach one...this is freakin annoying...So newayz
I've been rather depressed lately. I really miss mat. Its like affecting my work and my mood. I just don't feel like doing anything its pretty sad.
Which makes me sadder. I don't really know how to come out of this. I want to be happy and ridiculous again but it hasn' happened...blah....so
My poor cupcake ate ancient rat poisoning. She is ok but she constently shakes now...she looks so pathetic and helpless and it hurts my heart.
I start my summer night classes in less than 2 weeks and I haven't gotten my book yet bc the bookstore at sjcc is hella slow...
I am really nervous. I really want my AA by december. I've been doing this wayto long. Its pissing me off bc everyone that is younger than me are already past the aa or are already graduating...
How did this happen? Oh ya shit happened...
God. I can do this but I just need to do it. Does that make sense?
oui I'm so tired all the time. if I could I would sleep all the time and never leave my bed.
I'm also stressed b/c of my money situation. I have so much I have to pay for. I made up a payment plan for myself. so I get some of the stuff I owe out of the way but ya know it is going to take forever...
My cousins amber and alicia(and her baby chloe should be here tomorrow. i'm not looking forward to this...A) I have a little resentment towards Alicia. and B) I keep getting sad around babies...
So unfortunately I'm the Art director this summer at my work. And I have to do plays and acting...ummm hello...do I look like I can teach that...The last experience I had with a play I almost died...I can't get excited about stuff I'm not interested in...this should be totally very interesting...Yee
I reallywish I was like my bros mom out going and loud and not afraid of doing what she feels. I mean yes I can do what I feel but I'm not enthuiastic and crazy and loud about it...I like to be reserved and out of the spotlight....I think I lost what I was trying to explain...blah
I'm too self-conscious. I worry too much about how ppl and kids will react to me. gah blah gah blah...
I wish I could talk to mat right now but he is at andys....
To top this all off my dog is still on her period and my bed sheet is disgusting even after I washed it yesterday...
I'm sleepy
goodnight.
K
I can't use my keyboard so I had to attach one...this is freakin annoying...So newayz
I've been rather depressed lately. I really miss mat. Its like affecting my work and my mood. I just don't feel like doing anything its pretty sad.
Which makes me sadder. I don't really know how to come out of this. I want to be happy and ridiculous again but it hasn' happened...blah....so
My poor cupcake ate ancient rat poisoning. She is ok but she constently shakes now...she looks so pathetic and helpless and it hurts my heart.
I start my summer night classes in less than 2 weeks and I haven't gotten my book yet bc the bookstore at sjcc is hella slow...
I am really nervous. I really want my AA by december. I've been doing this wayto long. Its pissing me off bc everyone that is younger than me are already past the aa or are already graduating...
How did this happen? Oh ya shit happened...
God. I can do this but I just need to do it. Does that make sense?
oui I'm so tired all the time. if I could I would sleep all the time and never leave my bed.
I'm also stressed b/c of my money situation. I have so much I have to pay for. I made up a payment plan for myself. so I get some of the stuff I owe out of the way but ya know it is going to take forever...
My cousins amber and alicia(and her baby chloe should be here tomorrow. i'm not looking forward to this...A) I have a little resentment towards Alicia. and B) I keep getting sad around babies...
So unfortunately I'm the Art director this summer at my work. And I have to do plays and acting...ummm hello...do I look like I can teach that...The last experience I had with a play I almost died...I can't get excited about stuff I'm not interested in...this should be totally very interesting...Yee
I reallywish I was like my bros mom out going and loud and not afraid of doing what she feels. I mean yes I can do what I feel but I'm not enthuiastic and crazy and loud about it...I like to be reserved and out of the spotlight....I think I lost what I was trying to explain...blah
I'm too self-conscious. I worry too much about how ppl and kids will react to me. gah blah gah blah...
I wish I could talk to mat right now but he is at andys....
To top this all off my dog is still on her period and my bed sheet is disgusting even after I washed it yesterday...
I'm sleepy
goodnight.
K